DH farting problem ruining relationship

[Tiptopsshape]

So basically what it says on the tin. Married 4 years, everythings fine, really cant conplain at all except for the farting issue. And yes he's had all sorts of tests, diet changes, nothing helps 😣 he's massively self conscious of it, smell is putrid to the point of making me feel sick, and so embarrassing when visiting parents or with friends, I cant seem to get the stench out of the house.
Just to be clear he doesnt eat junk food as im not a fan, we eat healthy, weirdly it seems the more nervous he gets about his flatulence the worse it gets. The weekend was the last straw, I had to sleep downstairs as the smell in our room was disgusting.
He's had a colonoscopy, showed nothing, stool samples etc, theyre saying ibs as he's other wise healthy apart from the putrid farting which is ruining everything.

To those ignorant about plant-based eating, please check out NutritionFacts.org, and watch The game changers on Netflix

I'm also vegan but I found Game Chargers so embarrassingly biased and unscientific.

OP, this ain't normal. Something is setting him off that he didn't eat a lot of before.

If it's important to him that he maintains his vegan diet he's going to have to work out what it is. When I first went vegan I went whole food mad but soon discovered that I tolerate fruits, especially citrus, really, really poorly. I consider myself to be pretty healthy but I barely eat any fruit at all, it just doesn't agree with me. Butter and kidney beans are another I have to do in moderation.

Good luck to him.

You say you're willing to help him but the only diet you'll both consider is a vegan diet?

I would be taking that off the table for the time being and go onto a food plan. He'll be eating a lot of his protein from beans and pulses I'd imagine which could be adding to the problem.

It might be a case of you taking this seriously and trying anything or living with the smell forever.

Both of which ive weaned him off successfully.

But I thought he went vegan by his choice and you weren't controlling what he eats?

I've suggested he go on a rice and toast diet for now to see if theres any changes, and nuts for some protein, so will see if that helps.

You have arbitrarily chosen some foods. I mean, it might well help but it's still quite arbitrary and will of course be lacking in some micronutrients- he'd have to take a vitamin and mineral supplement if he did that.

I do think if you both can afford it your DH could have a consultation with a registered dietician (they have to have certain qualifications, whereas anyone can call themselves a nutritionist.)

But even a GP can probably give him the FODMAP guidelines, if they haven't already.

Weaned him? That says it all.

Both of which ive weaned him off successfully.

He's a man, not a toddler.

I've never wanted the Daily Mail to pinch a thread more than this one.

Tiptopsshape, I actually think it's great that the two of you are eating a vegan diet and, as you say, he is healthier and more energetic since switching to vegan.

Could he be allergic to gluten? Wheat, barley and rye all contain gluten. Could both of you switch to gluten-free for several weeks and see if that helps?

OP I notice you've mentioned the medical tests but no mention of a referral to a dietitian. When I was diagnosed with IBS I saw the Dietetics dept who spent a lot of time helping me manage my diet and work out my triggers. I too had terrible wind and horrendous bloating /sore stomach and distension.

Mine mainly are; bread, wheat pasta, cows milk, certain fruits like grapes/nectarine/peaches/cherries and dried fruits, fruit juices. I also generally avoid red meat and anything processed.

Everyone is different. I think it would be worth exploring seeing a specialist and asking if the GP would refer. It changed my life.

I think he needs to see a dietitian who specialises in IBS/veganism. Toast (gluten/wheat) is a very common trigger. Nuts are hard to digest for many.

You’re looking through bins to make sure he’s not eating meat, but also claim he never would because of his own morals and not because you’ve pushed this diet onto him?!! This is where vegans get their reputation for being extremists from.

OP you say when you met, he was not vegan. He had explosive bowel movements and his farts were more 'normal'. Now he is vegan, he still has explosive bowel movements and his farts are lethal.

Why did you then attribute the bad smell to him secretly eating meat? When he ate meat, by your own admission, his farts were tolerable. There is no was you could have just not noticed them back then if they were as horrific as you say they are now. Something changed in him between when you met him and now.

You say if it was the food, you too would suffer but this is clearly not true. We all have different tolerances for foods.

I strongly suspect something you have decided is 'healthy', is not healthy for HIM. Something you have added to his diet is not working for his gut. There is some gut ill health going on. The fact that he has lost weight is not proof that he is healthier. The would stench is evidence that something is not healthy in his gut.

I think you need to stop assuming that you know what is good for him and what is not as clearly SOMETHING he is ingesting is causing gut distress in him.

He needs to go back to basics and this may include eating simple unprocessed protein like chicken and rice for a couple of weeks. Nothing processed so no tofu for example. And nothing that creates excess gas so no legumes, pulses or grains.

He needs to heal his gut and I hope you wold agree that his health is more important that whether her eats animal protein or not. In the short term I think HE needs to put YOUR ethics to one side and heal his gut. He can then look at modifying his diet toward vegetarian then vegan. Introduce foods one by one and see what happens.

And no nuts ffs. They are really hard to digest.

Has he been tested properly for coeliac disease? I have coeliac diseased and microscopic colitis.
MC is often missed during a colonoscopy but I think you said he'd had a stool sample recently so I presume his calprotectin levels were ok?
MC when in flare is bad. Smells Like baby poo x 100.

Nuts are such a no-no. Honestly OP hasn't taken a word anyone has said on board.

Same

Nuts. No, don’t feed this man large volumes of nuts.

He needs to see a gastroenterologist and make a diet plan without your involvement. You have no experience in this issue and your suggestions are the kinds of things that exacerbate digestive distress, not heal.

@Namechangenumber23 Is right @Tiptopsshape That the doc should be referring him to a dietician too, though it might be a bit of a wait. Worth getting in the system by nudging them again, though.

Pretty sure I would have toxic farts if I ate either a junk food diet or a vegan diet

They are quite similar in their impact on your gut

What's a typical days good look like for him OP? Clearly there is something in his diet that is not agreeing with him (I cannot eat vegan/veggie for without serious issues.) but again we don't know what sort of diet he is having. There are so many processed vegan products out there that personally my arse can't handle 😂 and if we had a better idea someone might be able to help you?
Is it worth him seeing a nutritionist?

Chillies can cause trouble to susceptible people too if he liked kebabs/curries. I mean, to give an extreme example, a vindaloo is notorious.

Has he had a blood test to check for coeliac disease? That causes explosive foul smelling poos. Putting him on a bread diet would be the worst thing you could do!

I share your vegan values, but I get the sense you will be agaisnt your DH exploring eating animal protein to see if it solves or reduces this issue. You seem set against this, and it seems your values are higher priority than your DH health. And no, he isn't healthy if this is such an issue.

Stop saying you changed him for the the better like for some reason you not eating animal products make you superior.

Some people just can't tolerate a vegan diet, no matter what they do. The white rice and toast idea isn't a good one, if he's coeliac it will make him incredibly uncomfortable.

Please ask him to go for tests because this vegan diet clearly isn't working for him.