DH farting problem ruining relationship

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So basically what it says on the tin. Married 4 years, everythings fine, really cant conplain at all except for the farting issue. And yes he's had all sorts of tests, diet changes, nothing helps 😣 he's massively self conscious of it, smell is putrid to the point of making me feel sick, and so embarrassing when visiting parents or with friends, I cant seem to get the stench out of the house.
Just to be clear he doesnt eat junk food as im not a fan, we eat healthy, weirdly it seems the more nervous he gets about his flatulence the worse it gets. The weekend was the last straw, I had to sleep downstairs as the smell in our room was disgusting.
He's had a colonoscopy, showed nothing, stool samples etc, theyre saying ibs as he's other wise healthy apart from the putrid farting which is ruining everything.

a acknowledge = aback

This. I don't think OP is picking up what we're putting down.

I'm vegan too, and understand not being able to be in a relationship with a non-vegan, no matter what. I really don't believe that the vegan diet is to blame. Sure, within the vast vegan options there may be something that disagrees with him, of course. Adding rotting carcasses to his diet sure isn't going to help.

To those ignorant about plant-based eating, please check out NutritionFacts.org, and watch The game changers on Netflix.

Op, no pun intended, really hope you get to the bottom of this. In the meantime, try those shreddies pants linked upthread.

Not saying vegan isn't a healthy diet but some people are in denial saying it isn't the reason his farts smell so bad.

Bloody hell, poor guy.

OP you seem to think that because your system copes with a vegan diet, then everyone’s can. I have to be very careful with lentils, onion and leeks especially. Not because I fart but I get explosive diarrhoea. DH can eat these things with no issues. You want to blame ‘bad’ food like meat and treats because you are against them. But it’s not logical. ‘Good’ food can cause a bad reaction. People can have an anaphylactic reaction to a strawberry but no problem eating a Big Mac.

You are bullying your husband to follow your beliefs (be honest he doesn’t really share your convictions) and making his health and well-being suffer for it. Encourage him to see a proper dietitian and choose his own diet. If you genuinely care more about saving some chickens over your marriage then that’s your choice to make. Honestly why a rabid vegan would start a relationship with someone and try to convert them is beyond me. Just find someone who agrees with you and doesn’t need to be forced into it.

I was veggie for years and suffered crippling IBS. I eat rotting carcasses with green leafy vegetables now, no pain, not bloating, no smell.

Believe what you like but you are wrong in at least some cases. Chick peas, stone fruits and anything else high in FODMAPs make me very ill. You're lucky if you don't react similarly but please bugger off with the saintly vegan educator role. You don't know how other people react to foods.

I understand how upsetting it can be to be around someone whose farts are frequent and stinky.

My ex and I broke up for this reason. He belched and farted in my face, at the dining table, during sex, in the car, in the house, basically in all enclosed spaces where the smell just won't dissipate easily and he found it funny. He also said I was controlling when I suggested he stepped aside to fart.
Last straw was when my best friend visited us and he'd been farting on the 2nd floor, but she clocked it straight away as she got through the door on the ground floor. She exclaimed, 'goodness, this is bad!'😆

I would say work with him to find a solution - see a doctor, eat fibre in moderation, keep home ventilated etc. If he is however unwilling to find a solution, consider leaving.

Also, unless you eat clean vegan, you're going to have a hard time pinpointing which specific foods are causing him the issues. There is a lot of processed artificial vegan crap out there that cause people problems. Soy products destroy my guts. Just because something is "healthy" doesn't mean it is good for you.

And animals are also killed as a result of fruit farming.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/228354ca-e67f-11ec-9c30-501fb7a77d48?shareToken=1db5e1765b98509da57f7e6126e2888c

It’s a by product of veganism, much as that galls you

Men in particular don’t do well on a vegan diet

I think you confuse a healthy BMI with actually being healthy, and a vegan diet with a junk food takeaway diet as a comparison isn’t ideal either….bad to slightly less bad

I honestly never fart. And a clue is I don’t irritate my gut with inflammatory pulses, seeds, processed carbs and vegetables

Well, if you’d end your marriage rather than suggest your dh stop being vegan, that’s up to you. No one is saying he isnt generally healthy as a vegan or that it isnt much more healthy than he ate before, based on what you tell us. But it’s a diet that’s tough on your gut and you tell us you cannot stand the farting, the very obvious answer is diet change. You need to choose your priority and it sounds like it is more important to you that you are in a relationship with a vegan than that you are in a relationship with him. It is not nasty or hating to spell this out.

@hamstersarse It’s a by product of veganism, much as that galls you

Not necessarily

Men in particular don’t do well on a vegan diet

Really?

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/mar/05/vegan-bros-busting-myth-that-real-men-eat-meat

I've known a couple of people who had to stop being vegan because they were becoming ill from it. They were devastated but making yourself ill isn't helping anyone.

@LadyOfTheFliessssss I've known a couple of people who had to stop being vegan because they were becoming ill from it.

Some people are allergic to soya, (and suffer bloating and IBS symptoms) which cuts down your options for a lot of prepared vegan food.

A vegan diet needs to be balanced in the same way as a meat-based one.

I suspect his gut problems will disappear when he divorces you 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not just soya. Have you had a look at the FODMAP list. It would be exhausting balancing veganism with low FODMAP.

I mean you could. But pretending it's just soya is silly.

Sorry, posted too soon www.iamgoingvegan.com/stop-vegan-farting/

@MrsTerryPratchett But pretending it's just soya is silly.

I'm not 'pretending' anything.

I'm speaking from my own experience of friends with soya allergy as I'm not qualified as a Dietitian.

Poor guy for so many reasons.

My DP is vegetarian with IBS and suffers terribly eating a diet of mainly vegetables. Hes solved the problem by mainly sticking to huel during the week and eating relatively normal on weekends. He does this because he absolutely will not switch to omni or carnivore and thats his perogative. It works for him. I made chickpeas in something at the weekend and he was in agony half the night.

I think pushing him to call and formally apologise to your sister is a humiliating approach. Its enough for you to mention to your sister he is having serious digestive issues, very embarrassed, its being sorted. Without the public humiliation spectacle. The bins thing is also a bit troubling.

You've come to mumsnet asking for answers and when people point out problematic behaviour on your part you're dismissing it as unhelpful/unkind etc. But you need to take a look at your actions here.

It's actually quite possible to be malnourished on any diet, and I believe that some people ( not just men) can't thrive on a vegan diet. My son tried and now eats dairy and fish because he started to feel ill. I was very concerned about him, but he reached that conclusion by himself.
Your DP might have the correct BMI, and BTW there are some who think that isn't a good indicator of health or correct weight, but he can have other issues. I love hummus but eat it very infrequently as quite frankly I have to stay near the loo after ,it just goes through my system in minutes. If you can't consider that he isn't able to be healthy and vegan,then you will have to put up with the stink.

This is what I thought too... i find it hard to understand how you have looked into this at all when you didn't even think you mention the salient facts (vegan diet) in your op and you don't seem to know what FODMAP is? It's not a map?!

we've taken certain things out of the diet too with a foodmap

Most people aren't judging you though / just saying that a vegan diet may not suit your husband's body.

If he starts to reintroduce non-vegan foods and the problem is solved but you cannot stay with a non-vegan then end the relationship. But don't force this on him if it doesn't agree with him

I had to cease being vegan for this very reason.
I tell people my gut couldn't handle it.

There's probably a biological reason (gut overload of bacteria?) but basically the only carb I can eat safely is rice.

Potatoes are the worst for smelly wind but also any legumes and brassicas. It also got worse and worse for me. Oh sugar too. Basically any carb (bar rice). Nuts too. It's very limiting.

So despite my ethics I've gone back to keto - animal protein and veg. My gut is a lot better for it.