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Dating Thread 236 - Swiping, Blocking and Video Calls

1000 replies

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 28/11/2022 15:27

New thread!

OP posts:
Definitelycross · 30/11/2022 17:15

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 30/11/2022 15:30

I will report back once I've been to his for the first time on Saturday
Might end up staying. Have told him I can't (but I can)

Oooooh exciting

Definitelycross · 30/11/2022 17:15

Mr G is just so attentive in messaging it's really different for me. I like it.

5thWisdom · 30/11/2022 17:34

Definitelycross · 30/11/2022 17:15

Mr G is just so attentive in messaging it's really different for me. I like it.

Lovely! Enjoy!

Mila14 · 30/11/2022 18:12

5thWisdom · 30/11/2022 16:14

I've just Google image searches one match just now as his photos looked nothing alike and he's used a photo of a famous Greek actor as his main profile pic!!! You couldn't make it up!

WHAAAAAT ? Seriously??? How on earth is he going to meet you????

Mila14 · 30/11/2022 18:16

Definitelycross · 30/11/2022 17:15

Mr G is just so attentive in messaging it's really different for me. I like it.

That is lovely Deffy. Who is this MrG? Ive lost track a bit

OLDstolemybrain · 30/11/2022 18:48

@Mila14 your descriptions always make me chuckle 🤣

totally agree though. MrGhost was always quite obvious in his texts that he fancied me, that he wanted things to get physical etc but didn’t show up with the goods and I actually felt really nervous about things

MrFootball has been nothing but a gentleman and it’s got me more intrigued!

Mila14 · 30/11/2022 19:20

@OLDstolemybrain …MrFootball is looking like a thoroughly nice iron. Bring on next date. And you also fancy him a lot so it is all very promising 😘

Definitelycross · 30/11/2022 19:44

@Mila14 😂😂😂
He's the one I met yesterday for coffee. He's a sweetheart and has a great sense of humour.

MrB - I messaged him twice. I'm going to be near where he lives on Friday so I wondered if he'd like a coffee. He's been online but not read them so 🤷‍♀️

All other irons gone very cold - but that's fine. I like MrG. Physically I think it'll be a slow burner but that's fine by me too.

5thWisdom · 30/11/2022 23:04

Oh God I need better intro chat.

"What have you been up to today?"

How to make 'full day of work stress, presentations and meetings, stopping puppy chasing cat around the house, school run followed by swimming lesson, dashing to McDonalds because I don't have time to cook, organising work meeting in London etc' sound sexy?

Mila14 · 01/12/2022 07:47

Fifthie…it is not sexy but that is our lovely life busy and full of responsabilities…. That is why we need to make a point of getting a bloke who ADDS…fun good hard fat cock sex and frolics and TLC…to our life. 😍

5thWisdom · 01/12/2022 09:33

Mila14 · 01/12/2022 07:47

Fifthie…it is not sexy but that is our lovely life busy and full of responsabilities…. That is why we need to make a point of getting a bloke who ADDS…fun good hard fat cock sex and frolics and TLC…to our life. 😍

Amen to that!!

Mr Boxer and I ended up video calling last night. He's actually very sweet and nothing like my first impression of a player. In a complete about turn, and very relevant to what we all posted about yesterday, he wants to avoid any crude sex chat - and in his words - rather walk the walk than talk the talk. So funny as this is exactly what we referred to here.

No idea when we'd meet up as he's heading back to where he lives today. But I enjoyed the conversation.

Highly recommend video chatting to irons before meeting them. You actually get to see and chat and this gives you so much better an idea of a person than a photo!

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 13:56

Mila14 · 01/12/2022 07:47

Fifthie…it is not sexy but that is our lovely life busy and full of responsabilities…. That is why we need to make a point of getting a bloke who ADDS…fun good hard fat cock sex and frolics and TLC…to our life. 😍

Amen!! 👏🏻👏🏻

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 14:29

Can I ask how those of you who have been through abusive relationships etc learn to take compliments?

MrFootball has just texted to say he’s looking forward to the weekend because he has a date with the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on and I found it hard to even read the rest of his message. I just wanted to make a joke and run away!

I read somewhere that not accepting a compliment is like giving back a gift and I really don’t want to offend him but it’s bloody difficult 🤦🏻‍♀️

Definitelycross · 01/12/2022 14:37

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 14:29

Can I ask how those of you who have been through abusive relationships etc learn to take compliments?

MrFootball has just texted to say he’s looking forward to the weekend because he has a date with the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on and I found it hard to even read the rest of his message. I just wanted to make a joke and run away!

I read somewhere that not accepting a compliment is like giving back a gift and I really don’t want to offend him but it’s bloody difficult 🤦🏻‍♀️

I have found this impossible. I know exactly what you mean.

If it's on message I just said thank you. I tried to practice it with family and friends. It really doesn't come naturally at all. It's hard.

But just say - oh thank you.

🤗🤗🤗

Mila14 · 01/12/2022 14:43

Agree with Deffy…it is really difficult to accept something like that…MrEx used to tell me I was beautiful and he still does. It still shocks me after almost 7 years. There is this deep seated discomfort in accepting we are beautiful and can be so and lovely for our partners. It is our problem not theirs
Say Thank you 😊

5thWisdom · 01/12/2022 15:20

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 14:29

Can I ask how those of you who have been through abusive relationships etc learn to take compliments?

MrFootball has just texted to say he’s looking forward to the weekend because he has a date with the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on and I found it hard to even read the rest of his message. I just wanted to make a joke and run away!

I read somewhere that not accepting a compliment is like giving back a gift and I really don’t want to offend him but it’s bloody difficult 🤦🏻‍♀️

That is so lovely. It is hard to get used to. When you've been accustomed to such awful treatment by someone who says they love you. It can feel quite unusual and uncomfortable.

The way I've got my head around it is that abusive men have such self-loathing, they want to tear you down. Because in the end you represent everything they're not. Attractive, positive, loving, genuine. So remember you are all of those things. And enjoy it when someone new recognises that, isn't threatened by it, and is happy to tell you.

I'm just wary of the love bombers. There's a difference between genuine compliments and gushy, OTT, suck you in lovebombing. But we're hopefully experienced enough to tell the difference now, especially if you've already been at the hands of an abuser in the past.

Mila14 · 01/12/2022 15:43

I was love bombed massively by ex husband…and by Mr Ex right after…I didn't really know that was love bombing…sometimes what looks to us as love bombing can be sincere loving gestures. I think we become more aware and perhaps trust less as we age. There is always a narcissistic component after that love bombing…that is my experience but I can’t see it in the case of MrEx. I am honest here.

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 16:20

MrGhost was a definite love bomber but really hard to see that at the time. Stepping back I can see he just gave me what I thought I needed but there was no real substance there. Then he ghosted me anyway 😂😂

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 16:22

And thanks for the advice. Uncomfortable is the right word - like I’m undeserving and have somehow tricked him 🤦🏻‍♀️ have said thank you rather than put myself down or make a joke out of it

Mila14 · 01/12/2022 16:27

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 16:22

And thanks for the advice. Uncomfortable is the right word - like I’m undeserving and have somehow tricked him 🤦🏻‍♀️ have said thank you rather than put myself down or make a joke out of it

He’s smitten…just relax and enjoy it 😊

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 01/12/2022 17:59

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 16:20

MrGhost was a definite love bomber but really hard to see that at the time. Stepping back I can see he just gave me what I thought I needed but there was no real substance there. Then he ghosted me anyway 😂😂

How many times have you met him? To be honest I’d find that an OTT comment.. I can’t imagine ever saying it to anyone, it’s OTT flattery from someone unless you’re their partner and they’re saying it with some depth and meaning.

5thWisdom · 01/12/2022 19:08

I think what you need to be careful of is in the first few weeks is -

  • saying he's never felt like this before, he never thought he'd meet someone so wonderful etc etc
  • pushing your boundaries, wanting to see you all the time, turning up unannounced in the name of it being a surprise
  • constantly messaging and then chasing up for responses (like you couldn't possibly be too busy to reply immediately)
  • acts jealous when you mention spending time with others

I think a one off complimentary, flattering comment is ok.

Mila14 · 01/12/2022 19:13

5thWisdom · 01/12/2022 19:08

I think what you need to be careful of is in the first few weeks is -

  • saying he's never felt like this before, he never thought he'd meet someone so wonderful etc etc
  • pushing your boundaries, wanting to see you all the time, turning up unannounced in the name of it being a surprise
  • constantly messaging and then chasing up for responses (like you couldn't possibly be too busy to reply immediately)
  • acts jealous when you mention spending time with others

I think a one off complimentary, flattering comment is ok.

Excellent Fifthie…all very good points

OLDstolemybrain · 01/12/2022 19:31

Mila14 · 01/12/2022 19:13

Excellent Fifthie…all very good points

All good advice

this was a one off comment, wrapped up in him saying he was looking forward to seeing me again

apart from that there had been nothing else similar from your list. Not like MrGhost, they honestly like chalk and cheese. Makes me realise how stupid I was for falling for MrGhosts bs 🤦🏻‍♀️

5thWisdom · 01/12/2022 19:49

This sounds good. Enjoy the anticipation of your Sunday date!

Waiting for pleasure is pleasure itself! Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Mr Boxer messaged this morning some lovely messages after our video call. Nothing since 9am and now his Tinder profile distance has updated to 200 miles away. Meh.

Will settle in for some swiping later and hopefully an actual date will materialise for my child free weekend!

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