Dating Thread 236 - Swiping, Blocking and Video Calls

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

New thread!

We have been seeing each other on and off for 8 months, more serious the past 3 months so it’s still early days. I do tell him little bits about dd and I have prepared him a little. He has one dc (now an adult).

@Lovemusic33 …it’s going steady. I remember you were asking about presents for him. He sounded a nice guy. He’s not materialistic for what you said and sensitive. It should be lovely. Just relax 😊

Good luck @Lovemusic33 that's a major milestone for you both but will give him far better insight into your life and priorities. He is already into you and seeing our offspring is a privilege earned once he has proved to be a good man for you.

I hope it goes smoothly and well.

My mate had a top tip for this when she had four under 12 and a new fella. She would have him pop by as a non drama slightly under cover 'quick cuppa' almost as a 'Jim from work/building company etc is popping round for a chat' kept him in the kitchen and kids wandered past not aware of the enormity of the milestone or person.

I really hope it goes well ☺️ let us know later. It sounds like you've taken the right approach, timescale wise and it will move you on another step, relationship wise. I'm sure it will go fine - it will also show you a new side to him and this is how learn further dimensions to someone's character and whether they are a good fit in your life.

MrCars is due to come to me for two nights this weekend Sun-Tues as my teens are taking themselves off for an unprecedented faraway adventure under their own steam.

He's never been to my house so looking forward to getting cosy with him here, going to my local etc.

It is now at jeopardy as teens are ill and Cars has a nasty coldsore developing.

I've said we can work around the coldsore with some light bondage - him being tied up and unable to put his mouth places I don't want to contract herpes.

I'll be very sad if the teens stay home and the long awaited calendar entry of me having adult-only fun with MrCars is scratched....

Loving the good news updates and hope all goes well @Lovemusic33 : great opportunity to understand the man he is.

QQ re current iron. Very lovely and super kind, get on well but think that because someone is nicer and kinder than your head fuck Ex isn't a reason to date. Plus, I don't to want to dick him around.
Have already said happy to meet but don't see a relationship developing.
I feel I should have a further conversation to clarify (would be happy for FWB, but really isn't my long term type and don't want that anyway). Would you.. and what would you say. I'm shit at this stuff, hence a string of long term abusive relationships...

Argh this is so tricky! I feel the possibility of disappointment for you.

It's only Thursday so by Sunday they should hopefully be feeling better. And yes, cold sores can be overcome.

Crossing everything for you that your plans go ahead.

I hate a change of plans - I don't cope well with last minute cancellations hence my reaction to both my supposed recent dates falling though. You arrange something, you stick to it.

I've bitten the bullet and have enquired about introductory one on one sessions at our local branch of Cross Fit.

I do a lot of running around for child classes but realise I need something for me during my child free time that will improve my physical and mental well-being. I thought it might be better to try and start before the new year rush.

Watch this space!

@Justatoe2 …if he’s not long term type for you, just have uncomplicated fun. Are you looking for someone more long termish while seeing this guy?
if it’s really early, I would wait a bit and see how we get on and if I like him enough to DTD
If he’s crap at the sexy bit…dump nicely
If he’s good at the jiggy jiggers…and you want to jiggy along more…then keep seeing him and have “the chat”
Best wishes @Justatoe2

Fifthie…I’m a huge gym fan. I try to do at least 6 days a week and some days I do 2 classes. Your mental health will blossom. Trust me. And you will feel brilliant naked which is a nice extra.
It is your ME TIME and we really really need that

Please dear children…GO AWAY…get well and LEAVE THE HOUSE…OMMMMM

hopefully it will be just fine so MrCars can produce hot hard’un sexy times. No kissing and not going down south…

explicit

Question…( Howlongy, I appreciate your view)
For some reason MrEx and I only have ever had super “normie” vanilla sex. Which I love as he’s very very well endowed and always hard on request ( I know…dreamy)
He’s now taking his time to make love and loves giving me oral sex. But he just doesn’t like me going down on him I think. Or should I insist? He’s the active one normally and I don’t know whether I would enjoy me taking charge more??
This is quite a question after many years of sex . Longest we haven’t been without was 4 months as I caved in and ended up DTD within my 8 month OLD spree.

Whether HE would enjoy me taking charge…typo

@5thWisdom you'll love it, I'm sure. Crossfit has given me so much body confidence and mental strength, I hope you get that from it too 💪

Oh Mila, I wish I could advise but you may need a man's perspective on this in terms of preference.

You could try and be more persistent in your approach but it may well be he enjoys to give rather than receive in that oral department. Otherwise by 7 years you'd know he likes that by now?

@Mila14 @Justatoe2 This is exactly what I need to hear.

If I don't hear back by email (they say to email) I'll call tomorrow. Child free for a few days so perfect chance for an intro session.

@Mila14
So if you like it and the sex is good then that’s one thing, but if it’s always the same, could that be a bit boring or maybe predictable?
Especially if he is the doing the initiating.

I absolutely love it when the woman initiates for 2 reasons

1. it’s an exciting little role reversal when the woman initiates and takes control and shows what she wants
2. its shows that the woman actually wants to have sex with me and is not just going along because i initiated

I love when NoShow goes down on me, it’s so exciting, you could try cupping his balls or massaging his perineum ( not too hard), or a bit less vanilla, try playing with his bum hole a bit while you are going down on him ( gently..and lube your finger).

the other thing would be try different positions or not the bed at all

Thank the Lord for Howlongy … I can understand totally what you say. This is the thing, it’s a lot of years but sex is always different somehow. But I’d like to try… I feel I’m boring ( he’d probably would not agree but all the same)

Don’t worry if you are all sore at the beginning. Keep working out. It shows you have muscles you barely use.
I know this is controversial but I am going to say it. Drink little alcohol. I think you can train harder and more focused if you don’t drink at all day before.
I drink very little to be honest ( which is an issue as MrEx drinks quite often and not a little)

Have you chatted with him @Mila14 about him not enjoying receiving oral? That's quite unusual for a fella.
I'd be very very sad if I was denied that as fun with such a huge turn on. Far more than the other way round tbh although MrCars might well have changed my mind about that now.

What is super vanilla? Hard and up for it is good but imagine a bit of variety over time is helpful to keep things nice and spicy (talking from a place of nil experience as barely had sex ever in my 20 year marriage)

Maybe you could take a leaf out of mine and Cars' book by faking a coldsore so you'll have to be tied up to prevent you from passing it on to him....

Maybe he, like me, doesn't realise how much YOU would enjoy being the giver of oral. I was still unconvinced until MrCars was telling me how glad he hadn't washed his beard properly in the shower after we left our hotel and was enjoying having 'the scent of' me with him for the rest of the day.

@Mila14 Agree. For me alcohol drains my body of all energy for the next day. I'm getting older and notice the all round effects. Skin, bloated feeling, energy, sleep. I know my body couldn't cope with intense workouts along with lots of alcohol. So good discipline all round and would keep that under good control. Also hope high and good feelings from exercise will eliminate any sense of loss there!

I also fully understand the issue with alcohol and people's relationship with it and need for it at certain times. So no judgement there.

@Mila14 I notice that you've mentioned Mr Ex (do we need to rename him?!) and his alcohol consumption before. Have you talked about this during this reconciliation?

What is his drinking pattern? And what is it that bothers you? Does his behaviour change? Does he drink to get drunk (rather than a glass or two with a meal?)

Ohmygod that is such a hot thing for him to say. I'd have grabbed him there and then.

But strangely, like yourself, I'm not a very happy receiver. Maybe I've just not met the right person. Giving however is a whole other story. It's one of my absolute favourite bedtime activities. But I like to be told how too 😳

He doesn’t usually get wasted. But if it’s a do…he probably drinks loads. He drinks too often too and it does affect his mood. We have discussed it yes but he thinks I’m a bit of health junkie. At the moment work for him is so out of this world stressful that it makes it difficult to exercise. He runs a lot. But we need to talk about his mood more. At the moment he’s not very receptive but I listen to him and I know this is a particularly difficult time for him in many ways.
Nobody is perfect and I can’t impose my life philosophy on him to be honest. He knows a few changes are due … in time…

Thanks for this Oncey…I’m getting very good points on this thread!!