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Original poster

Men on OLD are the pits

175 replies

ArtisticYouth · 24/11/2022 20:20

Seriously.. I've tried Tinder, Bumble and Hinge..

It's mostly the same old boring potato headed men gawking into their smartphone with a serial killer look on their face.

Where are the good looking men?

OP posts:
BraveGoldie · 18/02/2023 05:15

I met my utterly gorgeous, wonderful husband on OLD. We moved in totally different circles and would never have met in any other way, so I'm very grateful.

There is always hope!

Tuilpmouse · 18/02/2023 08:06

SomeAlienConcept · 12/02/2023 15:29

Attractive, healthy, normal men don't need apps. They meet people and mix with women in their day to day life, have a social network and confident enough to approach women in real life. Women approach them in real life. They don't need to be online, they don't even have the time for it. Their lives are active, interesting. He might have tried apps when they were a novelty but not anymore. Because attractive normal successful men are so rare they get snapped up and stay coupled up.
If you're getting unattractive men that might be your level of attractiveness. Hot men have so many options.

I don't agree with this at all, any more than it's the case that attractive, healthy, normal women don't need to use apps.

When you move into your 30s, the dating pool naturally narrows, and such men and women, even those with very wide social circles, won't be surrounded with attractive, suitable singletons just waiting for them to become available so they can be snapped up.

Even if you're attached, just consider your social circle... How many attractive, suitable, single men are there who would snap you up should you become single? There probably aren't any! Besides, even if there were, they'd all be taken within a few weeks anyway if you're correct!

Tuilpmouse · 18/02/2023 08:20

BigFatLiar · 14/02/2023 07:51

I think that young men who are reasonably intelligent and look ok will have the same issues that women have as far as partners are concerned. A couple of DD's male friends from Uni did OLD and they said it was pretty grim, OK if you were looking for a hook up but not so great if you wanted to meet someone to share your life with. They didn't stick with it, one is still single and content the other met and married a nice young woman at his work.

OLD seems to be more for hook-ups for under 30 women, far less so for women over this age.

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 18/02/2023 08:41

BigFatLiar · 14/02/2023 16:58

Why does it seem more normal for men to date shorter women than for tall women to date short men?

Why does it seem more normal for women to date ugly men than for men to date ugly women?

TeaCakeandWarmHugs · 18/02/2023 08:50

I’ve been using OLD since March last year following the breakdown of a long marriage. It’s dire. I’ve had a few dates but nothing came of any of them. I’m probably a bit too fussy though as I look for intelligence as well as a connection (as a holder of multiple degrees myself 😉). Sexual chemistry is something that can be there from day one or develops pretty soon after that first few meets.

I stupidly (and accidentally) paid for a 12 month Tinder subscription last week (feeling sorry for myself on Valentine’s Day) - I have already gone incognito. I hated Match and POF. Bumble isn’t so bad although I am not on view on there atm. It’s soul destroying though but I feel I don’t have the opportunity to meet men due to working full time etc. I just wish someone genuine, decent, intelligent and sexy as hell (I can dream ha ha) would come along and get me off these apps.

I never use old photos btw. I’m 50, in a good job, house etc. Attractive for my age. I’m not horrible. Some of my photos are actually live they’re so recent!!

As for height…I’m 5ft 6ins. Dated a 6ft 3 from Tinder once or twice. He was sooooo tall and I felt like a midget!!

NoDatingForOldMen · 18/02/2023 09:00

TeaCakeandWarmHugs · 18/02/2023 08:50

I’ve been using OLD since March last year following the breakdown of a long marriage. It’s dire. I’ve had a few dates but nothing came of any of them. I’m probably a bit too fussy though as I look for intelligence as well as a connection (as a holder of multiple degrees myself 😉). Sexual chemistry is something that can be there from day one or develops pretty soon after that first few meets.

I stupidly (and accidentally) paid for a 12 month Tinder subscription last week (feeling sorry for myself on Valentine’s Day) - I have already gone incognito. I hated Match and POF. Bumble isn’t so bad although I am not on view on there atm. It’s soul destroying though but I feel I don’t have the opportunity to meet men due to working full time etc. I just wish someone genuine, decent, intelligent and sexy as hell (I can dream ha ha) would come along and get me off these apps.

I never use old photos btw. I’m 50, in a good job, house etc. Attractive for my age. I’m not horrible. Some of my photos are actually live they’re so recent!!

As for height…I’m 5ft 6ins. Dated a 6ft 3 from Tinder once or twice. He was sooooo tall and I felt like a midget!!

I think if you took this post and reversed the genders , most men would say exactly the same thing , TBH

It’s soul destroying though but I feel I don’t have the opportunity to meet women due to working full time etc. I just wish someone genuine, decent, intelligent and sexy as hell (I can dream ha ha) would come along and get me off these apps.

heartbroken40 · 18/02/2023 09:04

@TeaCakeandWarmHugs where are you based, I met my partner on tinder (London)

There are lots of men who are both very well educated and successful. Some are CFOs of listed companies, MD in banks, partners in law firms and many have phds/masters too.

I mean it's probably 1 in 20-30 worth swiping right but if you do it properly, I can assure there are some real gems there.

I had simple photos with no filter, a few full body photos. I was fully dressed (no cleavage showing or all that). I exchanged LinkedIn quite quickly, and I was taken very seriously. Sorry but I completely disagree with you. I will say that by being dismissive, you're missing out sorry

TeaCakeandWarmHugs · 18/02/2023 09:08

NoDatingForOldMen · 18/02/2023 09:00

I think if you took this post and reversed the genders , most men would say exactly the same thing , TBH

It’s soul destroying though but I feel I don’t have the opportunity to meet women due to working full time etc. I just wish someone genuine, decent, intelligent and sexy as hell (I can dream ha ha) would come along and get me off these apps.

Show quote history

Yes, probably very true.

TeaCakeandWarmHugs · 18/02/2023 09:12

heartbroken40 · 18/02/2023 09:04

@TeaCakeandWarmHugs where are you based, I met my partner on tinder (London)

There are lots of men who are both very well educated and successful. Some are CFOs of listed companies, MD in banks, partners in law firms and many have phds/masters too.

I mean it's probably 1 in 20-30 worth swiping right but if you do it properly, I can assure there are some real gems there.

I had simple photos with no filter, a few full body photos. I was fully dressed (no cleavage showing or all that). I exchanged LinkedIn quite quickly, and I was taken very seriously. Sorry but I completely disagree with you. I will say that by being dismissive, you're missing out sorry

I’m in the north east but I’m very open to moving for the right man.

There probably are some gems out there - I just can’t find them. I’m not interested in how much money someone has (I can take care of myself in that department) but definitely want someone who can hold intelligent and interesting conversation (as well as being desirable and passionate 😉).

heartbroken40 · 18/02/2023 09:18

@TeaCakeandWarmHugs the way I approached is

  1. Only men with verified photos
  2. Those who write master/PhD (not a guarantee of interesting conversation but at least it's something)
  3. No tattoos
  4. No negative profiles (those who write "are there any real women in here"?)
  5. Proper photos, nothing with chest out or the likes

Then in conversation, I used to tease them gently - some got all het up and blocked me/got aggressive. While others answered with so much sense of humour that I thought there was potential there

I would search again in London and be methodical in your swiping

TeaCakeandWarmHugs · 18/02/2023 09:25

@heartbroken40

Good list! Funny you mention tattoos - I hate tattoos on men (and women) and it is probably the one thing that instantly makes me swipe left as I form a negative opinion of them straight away.

I love London and know it well. Maybe I should look there! Strangely enough, I have applied for a London based job and just had the last interview for it so waiting on a yes/no. The role would give me the option to live anywhere in the UK and have a nice pay rise - a nice man would be a bonus 😆!!

Tuilpmouse · 18/02/2023 10:15

heartbroken40 · 18/02/2023 09:18

@TeaCakeandWarmHugs the way I approached is

  1. Only men with verified photos
  2. Those who write master/PhD (not a guarantee of interesting conversation but at least it's something)
  3. No tattoos
  4. No negative profiles (those who write "are there any real women in here"?)
  5. Proper photos, nothing with chest out or the likes

Then in conversation, I used to tease them gently - some got all het up and blocked me/got aggressive. While others answered with so much sense of humour that I thought there was potential there

I would search again in London and be methodical in your swiping

Interesting as I have a Masters and a follow up Professional qualification, but wouldn't say anything more than university educated on my profile... It also seems strange that you think someone needs a higher degree to be able to engage in stimulating intellectual conversation!

tangenttania · 18/02/2023 10:18

4. No negative profiles (those who write "are there any real women in here"?)

Agree about negativity. Though that might be for those women who use filters? Apparently some men also do it though. I do think it's dishonest for either sex to use filters as they do only have a look of the person and would only disappoint.

Which app are photos verified ? I haven't heard of that

tangenttania · 18/02/2023 10:22

Interesting as I have a Masters and a follow up Professional qualification, but wouldn't say anything more than university educated on my profile... It also seems strange that you think someone needs a higher degree to be able to engage in stimulating intellectual conversation!

Agree. Especially when degrees are more commonplace now and the entrance criteria very low indeed for some courses (I know of people who accessed degree courses with no GCSEs or a couple of E grade A'Levels).

heartbroken40 · 18/02/2023 10:24

@tangenttania tinder has a "blue tick" which means verified. You take a selfie and they match it to your own photos.

I had no filters (I don't even know how to use filters or bunny ears). Just a few photos of me, some with light make up some with no make up.

And I'm sure I missed someone amazing by being so ruthless but it brought me a very nice partner so I don't care.

Another question to ask is how long they have been on the app - some have been on it for 6-7 YEARS. Sorry but that wouldn't have worked for me,

NoDatingForOldMen · 18/02/2023 13:44

TeaCakeandWarmHugs · 18/02/2023 09:12

I’m in the north east but I’m very open to moving for the right man.

There probably are some gems out there - I just can’t find them. I’m not interested in how much money someone has (I can take care of myself in that department) but definitely want someone who can hold intelligent and interesting conversation (as well as being desirable and passionate 😉).

Show quote history

I think OLD is a post code lottery no matter which gender you are ( or are looking for), I’m in a rural location and there is a real lack of any interesting females in my age group, but if do a virtual relocation to the SE, there are many more interesting profiles ( but probably lots of men better than me),

Personally I agree about education, just degree is fine, I don’t think having a masters etc makes you more interesting person as those can be quite specific

AFrivolousDigression · 20/02/2023 11:19

I tried OLD a few years ago.

One person didn't turn up.

Another turned up and started telling me how his partner had died 4 months before the date and started crying.

Another told me his ex wife accused him of raping her.

One person talked incessantly about his exes.

One started eying up other women in the restaurant.

One person said hardly a word unless it was about them.

Two were 'about to' divorce (so essentially still married).

I noticed that some of the photos on the OLD sites were very off-putting: e.g. men holding large fish (what's that all about? I can go to the supermarket to buy some salmon if I want), men sat astride quad bikes holding rifles, men posing with cars (not even nice cars, just hands on their cars). The worst photo was a man slumped on a sofa so far down that his arse was hanging over the edge, looking asleep or as if he 'couldn't care less' about whether the date found him attractive or not - I mean 'what's that about?' Why bother even putting a photo on if you don't want to really date? Surely he couldn't have thought that was 'attractive', unless the message was 'I don't give a fuck, some women will find anything attractive'. Or maybe men do things like that for a bet with other men to see if they get any response to their 'bait?'. Who knows. All I know is that it was exhausting (and a waste of money).

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 20/02/2023 11:48

AFrivolousDigression · 20/02/2023 11:19

I tried OLD a few years ago.

One person didn't turn up.

Another turned up and started telling me how his partner had died 4 months before the date and started crying.

Another told me his ex wife accused him of raping her.

One person talked incessantly about his exes.

One started eying up other women in the restaurant.

One person said hardly a word unless it was about them.

Two were 'about to' divorce (so essentially still married).

I noticed that some of the photos on the OLD sites were very off-putting: e.g. men holding large fish (what's that all about? I can go to the supermarket to buy some salmon if I want), men sat astride quad bikes holding rifles, men posing with cars (not even nice cars, just hands on their cars). The worst photo was a man slumped on a sofa so far down that his arse was hanging over the edge, looking asleep or as if he 'couldn't care less' about whether the date found him attractive or not - I mean 'what's that about?' Why bother even putting a photo on if you don't want to really date? Surely he couldn't have thought that was 'attractive', unless the message was 'I don't give a fuck, some women will find anything attractive'. Or maybe men do things like that for a bet with other men to see if they get any response to their 'bait?'. Who knows. All I know is that it was exhausting (and a waste of money).

The worst photo was a man slumped on a sofa so far down that his arse was hanging over the edge, looking asleep or as if he 'couldn't care less' about whether the date found him attractive or not - I mean 'what's that about?'

I'll give the response I see on a lot of female dating profiles - "If you can't love me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best."

Or maybe he was trying to demonstrate his caring nature by hanging his arse over the edge of the sofa so his date could have the good bit (remember the back of the sofa is always prime position because you can brace yourself against the back and shove the other person off if they annoy you).

LostidentityM · 20/02/2023 14:03

heartbroken40 · 18/02/2023 09:04

@TeaCakeandWarmHugs where are you based, I met my partner on tinder (London)

There are lots of men who are both very well educated and successful. Some are CFOs of listed companies, MD in banks, partners in law firms and many have phds/masters too.

I mean it's probably 1 in 20-30 worth swiping right but if you do it properly, I can assure there are some real gems there.

I had simple photos with no filter, a few full body photos. I was fully dressed (no cleavage showing or all that). I exchanged LinkedIn quite quickly, and I was taken very seriously. Sorry but I completely disagree with you. I will say that by being dismissive, you're missing out sorry

@heartbroken40 im in london too and i wish i could give you control of my tinder profile as i dont see anyone worth swiping on!

UserNameTwo · 20/02/2023 20:14

Tuilpmouse · 18/02/2023 10:15

Interesting as I have a Masters and a follow up Professional qualification, but wouldn't say anything more than university educated on my profile... It also seems strange that you think someone needs a higher degree to be able to engage in stimulating intellectual conversation!

Show quote history

Or indeed, any qualification.

Lots of people with degrees at any level are not intellectually curious or particularly engaging to talk to. Some people without one are both.

Demanding a certain level of formal education is an arbitrary "box ticking" exercise.

Weekenders · 20/02/2023 20:20

UserNameTwo · 20/02/2023 20:14

Or indeed, any qualification.

Lots of people with degrees at any level are not intellectually curious or particularly engaging to talk to. Some people without one are both.

Demanding a certain level of formal education is an arbitrary "box ticking" exercise.

Show quote history

Like anything in OLD, it's all useful info - the sort of person who puts that in a profile isn't for me, which saves wasting anyone's time.

heartbroken40 · 20/02/2023 20:36

@UserNameTwo I'm the poster who only considered men with masters and PhDs and it's totally arbitrary yes, but it's a way to screen and it worked for ME

So many men with masters and PhDs are boring but one has to find a way to screen and reduce the number of potentials.

I hate tattoos too, other people might love them. It's all good, it worked for ME!

LostidentityM · 20/02/2023 21:05

@heartbroken40 how were you able to specify that you wanted post grads only, is that a paid option?

heartbroken40 · 21/02/2023 04:12

@LostidentityM I did pay but there's no filter for education. You just have to unfortunately check one by one.

Many will write the name of their university (there were quite a few from "Harvard" but I'm not sure I believe that). The "university of life" students are not worth your time

So one by one, read the spiel before looking at the photos that's my advice

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