Men on OLD are the pits

[ArtisticYouth]

Seriously.. I've tried Tinder, Bumble and Hinge..

It's mostly the same old boring potato headed men gawking into their smartphone with a serial killer look on their face.

Where are the good looking men?

Pretty sure it's mostly men in OLD.

Mind you, what do I know? My only experience of OLD is MSN chatrooms 20 years ago 😂

They want you to stick around by generating the most matches. They are not going to show you people that they know are unlikely to like your profile.

All of the algorithms are designed to show you people the most likely to like you back (Tinder and Hinge say it themselves). In the beginning you might see everyone, but over time it learns who likes you. You might not like what you see but these are the people that for whatever reason are liking you.

So if you don't see men that you deem attractive, either there aren't any near you because they all have girlfriends or they aren't liking your profile.

I met my DP on Hinge and my last 2 boyfriends on Tinder. We're all decent looking but I know my league!

Ah understood

single man, it’s his fault because he’s not good
single woman, it’s the fault of a man

Actually read the thread now
im not engaging with this one, it’s pretty vile
the most blatant I’ve seen on here for a while

This is awful, terrifying.

the poster making the point men don’t have this fear is correct, we don’t. It must be horrific

''@FloydPepper · Today 09:48
Roundbasket · Today 00:39
Nope . So many more women end up single because so many men out there are cheating creeps using sex workers or with porn addiction , violent etc

so no , much less chance of a decent bloke being single and available

great women being cheated on every day by men who are never satisfied and looking for someone younger , different , or simply just another woman.
Show quote history
Ah understood

single man, it’s his fault because he’s not good
single woman, it’s the fault of a man''

As someone who has dated both men and women I have never been physically or sexually assaulted by a woman or come across a woman who was addicted to porn and could not differentiate between real life sex and what they saw in these videos.

This happened with men though and more than once...

So it is disingenuous to suggest that there are no specific issues (violence, porn, misogyny, inability to see women as people and as equals) that come from dating men.

Whenever I see these threads, they always fascinate me. I did online dating for a couple of years and never met anyone I diagnosed as a porn addict, love bomber or liar. There were some I went on a couple of dates with, some I never saw again, one or two disappointments and the one I married and have a daughter with.

Yes maybe you can start to understand the vast difference for women and men and why women have it so just harder

@Artygirlghost
‘So it is disingenuous to suggest that there are no specific issues (violence, porn, misogyny, inability to see women as people and as equals) that come from dating men.’

exactly

That's because most people in real life - men and women - are basically decent, normal and ok. Like all human beings, they have their flaws but they're balanced by their good points.

MN has a rather more skewed opinion.

I met my present DH on ‘dating direct’ nearly 20 yrs ago. Luckily mobile phones were basic and photos were rare. Good job really as DH is shit at taking photos. We were more interested in our written profiles.
DH isn’t buff -he looks like the love child of Mackenzie Crook and Dave Grohl. We had already decided we were each other’s ‘the one’ before we met - just from phone calls.

then we met and the rest is history.

we were late 30s and early 40s

It's the same as the men that are like "all my exes are crazy" or people you know that are always falling out with others.

Anyone can end up in a relationship with a horrible person, but if it's only ever horrible or ugly people that are interested in you then you need to address why you keep attracting these people.

Maybe previous trauma causes you to miss red flags, maybe you are rigidly sticking to a certain "type", maybe you are just not a particularly nice or attractive person yourself.

The whole argument has been changed though. The statement that started all this was:

Good looking men don’t need to use apps

"Good looking". That's what was said. Not "non-porn-using", "non-protective" or even "non-machete-wielding". Indeed, the pp explicitly said that her machete man WAS very good looking.

Looks are of course skin deep but they're the first contact you have before you get to know what someone is like, and that's all the comment was referring to. It's then perfectly reasonable to point out in response that if good-looking men don't need to use apps (presumably because they're inundated with offers IRL) the same would go for women. For some reason though, while people were perfectly comfortable making assumptions about both the external and internal ugliness of all these "sad old men" so desperate and pathetic that they have to use dating apps (yuck!), they didn't like the fact that they were inadvertently making the same assumptions about the OP.

If you have generalised bitterness about what kind of people those attractive men turn out to be it may well be justified, but that's surely a separate question. It's not what the comment referred to.

Wtf!!! 😂😂😂

😂

Christ on a bike. I'd just eaten. Boak.

Old has been hilarious. I've met...

1. A covid denier who lectured me for an hour for being jabbed.

1. One who was talking about 'our future' and whispering 'your gorgeous and amazing' at me over the pub table, 15 minutes in to our first (and last) date.

1. The very normal looking physiotherapist who sent me his bank details and asked me to bankrupt him.

1. The bloke who wanted to buy my 'well used' slippers 🤮.

1. The bloke who was into choking and wanted to take me for a drive in the local national park. Serial killer vibes from him

Why are they potatoes @ArtisticYouth Is it the balding?

I think there must be some good looking people on there? Might it be that they're snapped up or pair off quickly, leaving those still looking?

1. The very normal looking physiotherapist who sent me his bank details and asked me to bankrupt him.

Christ 

Have you let anyone decent at all? @Theloftmonster

I have actually meant a load more crappy ones too, a proper narcissistic (lucky escape), one bloke who was in the masons and the salvation army (I'm sure that's fine for some people but not for me).

I've met a few nice ones. I'm currently in the early stages of a relationship with someone who seems really lovely. Fingers crossed eh!

Attractive, healthy, normal men don't need apps. They meet people and mix with women in their day to day life, have a social network and confident enough to approach women in real life. Women approach them in real life. They don't need to be online, they don't even have the time for it. Their lives are active, interesting. He might have tried apps when they were a novelty but not anymore. Because attractive normal successful men are so rare they get snapped up and stay coupled up.
If you're getting unattractive men that might be your level of attractiveness. Hot men have so many options.

I was thinking of trying it this year but might not bother.
Fingers crossed it works out for you @Theloftmonster

I’ll have to tell my husband he’s not attractive or healthy 😂

@lusted yeah but you probably met him years ago. We're talking about the sort of men on apps NOW 🙄