Page 6 | Men on OLD are the pits

LostidentityM · 14/02/2023 15:40

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 14/02/2023 13:25

Name changed to protect the innocent.

To be honest I think most people on OLD are the pits, not just the men. And I say that as a man who has being OLD for over a year.

A bit about me. Slim, fit, most hair in place, beard that can be removed if requested, slightly on the short side (5-6) into my second half century. Very w highly educated (multiple degrees) own house, car, decent job, very well travelled, I'd like to think I am quite friendly and chatty but that is less objective. I wouldn't say I was handsome but not awful looking either. I'd like to think I was quite normal and that a lot of people would consider me "reasonable" if not top level dating material.

Had any luck ? Well close to zero. The last encounter I had she posted a photo about 15 years younger than she was. I would guess she was about 5-10 years older than she claimed she was (although I never found out for certain) and a few other things about her appearance that I am too polite to mention. But she was funny and we got on well. I ended it after a couple of dates because she repeatedly started calling me "on the spectrum" because I had the audacity to tell her I liked a completely normal popular activity which both men and women do (which I wont go into here because it would be too outing). For some reason she didn't seem to understand how offensive this was, even when I explained it to her.

My general experience of OLD is that a significant fraction of the women lie through their teeth, have unrealistic expectations of what they expect in a partner and are extremely choosy about who they will bother to communicate with (even people who I think I would be well matched on a hobbies basis don't seem to want to respond). I'm guessing that most of my lack of success is probably due to my height, which I think probably gets me excluded from a good 75% of candidates before they even see my profile.

So, after these last efforts, I have decided to pretty much finish, but I'm going to have one final go and have an experiment - delete my old profile, then resubscribe for a month and come up with a new one, on which I am going to absolutely lie like hell. I can easily pass for 10 years younger than I am so I'm going to lie about that and sell myself about 2.5 inches taller (which I can just about carry off in the right shoes) and then lie about a whole load of other stuff and see where that takes me.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Unfortunately it's the height. I remember going to a singles event and there were lots of shorter men there, very nice ones. They told me they rarely got any attention and thought singles nights were at least a chance for them to have a few real life conversations. Ironically the only tall bloke there was snogging the face off someone by the end of the night and i found out later that he basically goes to all these events as he pulls so easily amongst all the shorties.

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 14/02/2023 16:15

LostidentityM · 14/02/2023 15:40

Unfortunately it's the height. I remember going to a singles event and there were lots of shorter men there, very nice ones. They told me they rarely got any attention and thought singles nights were at least a chance for them to have a few real life conversations. Ironically the only tall bloke there was snogging the face off someone by the end of the night and i found out later that he basically goes to all these events as he pulls so easily amongst all the shorties.

Show quote history

Yes I agree.

Good news is that I have not yet lied on OLD (I think most men actually do lie and add to their height, so I'm disadvantaged there) so I can add 2 inches and fairly comfortably blag myself a 5-8 by just wearing a pair of thick soled shoes !

And 5-8 although isn't exactly a giant it is getting close to what I think more women find acceptable.

3LittleFishes · 14/02/2023 16:55

Just be careful though @PotatoHeadedSerialKiller . I am 5'10 and would probably date someone at 5'8 but it would probably be disappointing for both of us when you took your shoes off!!
I get it, you want a chance but lying probably isn't going to do you any favours in the long run....unless you exclusively date women of say 5'2 and under.

BigFatLiar · 14/02/2023 16:58

Why does it seem more normal for men to date shorter women than for tall women to date short men?

Cam22 · 14/02/2023 17:10

ArtisticYouth · 24/11/2022 20:20

Seriously.. I've tried Tinder, Bumble and Hinge..

It's mostly the same old boring potato headed men gawking into their smartphone with a serial killer look on their face.

Where are the good looking men?

“the same old boring potato headed men gawking into their smartphone“

😆

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 14/02/2023 17:13

3LittleFishes · 14/02/2023 16:55

Just be careful though @PotatoHeadedSerialKiller . I am 5'10 and would probably date someone at 5'8 but it would probably be disappointing for both of us when you took your shoes off!!
I get it, you want a chance but lying probably isn't going to do you any favours in the long run....unless you exclusively date women of say 5'2 and under.

I probably wouldn't date you though at 5'10. At the very least I'd probably give you an advance warning :) because as you say it would be pointless. I get to filter, rather than the rest of the world filtering me...

Generally I don't think I would want to date anyone above 5'6 which is my height. I'm more interested in the 5' to 5'4 ones who would initially refuse to consider me because I am not a giant.

I think women don't tend to lie about their height so much. I do feel some of the shorter ones (5ft say) tend to increase it by an inch or two, or maybe its because they are getting older and shrinking.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 14/02/2023 17:30

#@ArtisticYouth What do you mean by potato heads? Bald? Looking like Uncle Fester?!

NoDatingForOldMen · 14/02/2023 17:32

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 14/02/2023 13:25

Name changed to protect the innocent.

To be honest I think most people on OLD are the pits, not just the men. And I say that as a man who has being OLD for over a year.

A bit about me. Slim, fit, most hair in place, beard that can be removed if requested, slightly on the short side (5-6) into my second half century. Very w highly educated (multiple degrees) own house, car, decent job, very well travelled, I'd like to think I am quite friendly and chatty but that is less objective. I wouldn't say I was handsome but not awful looking either. I'd like to think I was quite normal and that a lot of people would consider me "reasonable" if not top level dating material.

Had any luck ? Well close to zero. The last encounter I had she posted a photo about 15 years younger than she was. I would guess she was about 5-10 years older than she claimed she was (although I never found out for certain) and a few other things about her appearance that I am too polite to mention. But she was funny and we got on well. I ended it after a couple of dates because she repeatedly started calling me "on the spectrum" because I had the audacity to tell her I liked a completely normal popular activity which both men and women do (which I wont go into here because it would be too outing). For some reason she didn't seem to understand how offensive this was, even when I explained it to her.

My general experience of OLD is that a significant fraction of the women lie through their teeth, have unrealistic expectations of what they expect in a partner and are extremely choosy about who they will bother to communicate with (even people who I think I would be well matched on a hobbies basis don't seem to want to respond). I'm guessing that most of my lack of success is probably due to my height, which I think probably gets me excluded from a good 75% of candidates before they even see my profile.

So, after these last efforts, I have decided to pretty much finish, but I'm going to have one final go and have an experiment - delete my old profile, then resubscribe for a month and come up with a new one, on which I am going to absolutely lie like hell. I can easily pass for 10 years younger than I am so I'm going to lie about that and sell myself about 2.5 inches taller (which I can just about carry off in the right shoes) and then lie about a whole load of other stuff and see where that takes me.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Unfortunately I would probably agree with most of this, I was on OLD for a copy of years and would absolutely never do it again, some the women use pics 10 years or more old as they think they looked good at the time, one woman I chatted to put certain hobbies on her profile that she thought would her seem more attractive to men, but didn’t actually like the hobby.
I was questioning about job & salary, and spending habits ( none of her f’ing business what I spend my money on ).
a wholly underwhelming experience that has sort of put me off dating entirely..…

. Now where do find a really big carp to get a picture with…

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 14/02/2023 17:44

NoDatingForOldMen · 14/02/2023 17:32

Unfortunately I would probably agree with most of this, I was on OLD for a copy of years and would absolutely never do it again, some the women use pics 10 years or more old as they think they looked good at the time, one woman I chatted to put certain hobbies on her profile that she thought would her seem more attractive to men, but didn’t actually like the hobby.
I was questioning about job & salary, and spending habits ( none of her f’ing business what I spend my money on ).
a wholly underwhelming experience that has sort of put me off dating entirely..…

. Now where do find a really big carp to get a picture with…

Show quote history

Posting a much younger picture is very common. I suppose I have less issues with it if it is done in conjuction with more recent/currently reflective photos.

Unfortunately the single 15 year old photo is often appears to be followed by :

Most Important Thing In A Relationship : Honesty.

I'm not at all convinced women behave any better at OLD dating than men from my experience.

JenniferBooth · 14/02/2023 17:48

Ive never done OLD and never would but you cant gage sexual chemistry through a computer screen like you can offline. Offline dating is growing in popularity again according to an article in last months Woman and Home.

From what i can tell OLD has increased peoples expectations and made them far too high which leaves them disappointed. Wouldnt touch it.

JenniferBooth · 14/02/2023 17:50

Well i remember a thread on here about men on OLD who wouldnt date women over a size 12

NoDatingForOldMen · 14/02/2023 18:17

JenniferBooth · 14/02/2023 17:50

Well i remember a thread on here about men on OLD who wouldnt date women over a size 12

I think that’s a preference really, in the same way the some women will only date men over a certain height, you can lie about either if you want, but in real life it’s obvious.

but out of date pics or plain bold lies are really common

JenniferBooth · 14/02/2023 18:54

Why do people do it It sounds like a load of hassle

Ilovemycatalot · 14/02/2023 20:25

I actually had a pic up that was 2 years old but felt like a fraud ( didn’t think I had changed much but probably fooling myself) so will replace it with a more recent one on my profile.

ssinhk · 14/02/2023 21:41

I didnt want to pay to see who liked me. So i just swiped right to everyone and then pick from the matches. Lol
i have a mix, both good looking and bad looking. The issue is that 80% of them dont reply the message and i do wonder why the heck do they go on the OLD….out of the rest 20% who do message back, half of em are boring, and then finally i got one who agreed mutually to meet, i got ghosted by him the day before we were supposed to meet. I got 2500 likes during two weeks using the APP and end up with 0 dates lol. Never again.

LostidentityM · 14/02/2023 22:19

JenniferBooth · 14/02/2023 18:54

Why do people do it It sounds like a load of hassle

@JenniferBooth Because its hard to meet someone in real life. I wfh mostly so don't have that social side, friends have their own lives, especially coupled up. Easy to say hobbies but when you are juggling work and childcare, where is the time? My free days tend to be seeing friends. I genuinely think the kinds of men I'd like wouldn't be getting hammered in bars late at night either.

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 15/02/2023 10:01

JenniferBooth · 14/02/2023 18:54

Why do people do it It sounds like a load of hassle

It's no more or less hassle than any other method of dating. Blokes you pick up in pubs don't come with "I'm not an idiot or a liar" certificates.

The reason people complain about it so much is probably because they pay money and have expectations that it will magically produce hundreds of people that fit their specific (and mostly over optimistic) requirements.

If you go online and feel all the men are potato headed serial killers, the odds are that you are a woman suitable for a potato headed serial killer, because if you were a stunningly beautiful and engaging person you would just walk into a bar and have non potato headed serial killer men engaging with you without having to pay £20 a month.

Online dating is a good "I am interested in engaging" with other people filter, whereas with other methods meeting people socially there is also the questionmark over whether they are even interested in some sort of relationship in the first place.

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 15/02/2023 10:03

Ilovemycatalot · 14/02/2023 20:25

I actually had a pic up that was 2 years old but felt like a fraud ( didn’t think I had changed much but probably fooling myself) so will replace it with a more recent one on my profile.

@Ilovemycatalot

I wouldn't feel like a fraud with a two year old pic.

That's amateur night compared with some of the misrepresentations I've seen.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 15/02/2023 10:35

@PotatoHeadedSerialKiller

Love your screen name. I realise it's just for fun because of what the OP said. Good luck with your search and your altered dating profile just to see what turns up.

I suspect people do that all the time for right reason or none.

My husband's height is 5'6", I'm 5' 3.5"

I don't understand this fixation with blokes' height. I'm not a fairground ride, I don't have a minimum height requirement.

I dated a guy who was 6'1" when I was a teenager. He was right enough, just not husband material, well, not for me anyway. Tall men ? Meh, I'm over them.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/02/2023 12:02

@ssinhk
You swiped right on everyone and pick from the matches, then wondered why 80% don't respond? Probably because they do the same.

foaf · 15/02/2023 12:49

If you go online and feel all the men are potato headed serial killers, the odds are that you are a woman suitable for a potato headed serial killer, because if you were a stunningly beautiful and engaging person you would just walk into a bar and have non potato headed serial killer men engaging with you without having to pay £20 a month.

But people like the pp may not have the same opportunities to socialise especially if working from home. They may not use bars for meeting people.

Doesn't mean they have to settle or are only suitable for a potato headed serial killer

JenniferBooth · 15/02/2023 13:43

Did anyone else on here watch Valentine First Dates on Channel 4 last night. 50 year old man on there who said he loves the fake look. e.g. Botox fillers etc.

An example of what i was saying about high expectations.

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 15/02/2023 14:39

foaf · 15/02/2023 12:49

If you go online and feel all the men are potato headed serial killers, the odds are that you are a woman suitable for a potato headed serial killer, because if you were a stunningly beautiful and engaging person you would just walk into a bar and have non potato headed serial killer men engaging with you without having to pay £20 a month.

But people like the pp may not have the same opportunities to socialise especially if working from home. They may not use bars for meeting people.

Doesn't mean they have to settle or are only suitable for a potato headed serial killer

No, I never said that they had to settle for anyone. No one is forcing them into any particular dating strategy.

Merely implied that if you don't want a potato headed serial killer for a partner, probably best not to go to a place where they hang out.

Attractive people are attractive to other people - pretty much by definition.

They don't have issues finding partners because of this. So why would they want to go to a place where there are non attractive people and complain about it ?

foaf · 15/02/2023 17:53

Sorry, I know you didn't say that!

But there must be some good looking people on the apps? One or two? Mustn't there! Though OP says not, and we've come full circle again.

Weekenders · 15/02/2023 19:39

JenniferBooth · 15/02/2023 13:43

Did anyone else on here watch Valentine First Dates on Channel 4 last night. 50 year old man on there who said he loves the fake look. e.g. Botox fillers etc.

An example of what i was saying about high expectations.

Didn't see it, but clearly that's why he was selected by the producers, as provocative opinions make for good TV in their view.

Single people should spend as little time as possible thinking about men and women (potato heads, narcissists, whatever) they aren't interested, and focus on those they actually are.

Then calculate how realistic attracting whatever you are looking for is based on your current position in the dating market. The caricature on First Dates is entitled to pursue whatever niche type he wants. Whether that's wise or not is a different matter.