Men on OLD are the pits

[ArtisticYouth]

Seriously.. I've tried Tinder, Bumble and Hinge..

It's mostly the same old boring potato headed men gawking into their smartphone with a serial killer look on their face.

Where are the good looking men?

Lol.

I met an “attractive, healthy, normal” man on an app and married him a few years ago. He’s great.

Second poster replying with the same thing obviously both skipped the part where I said He might have tried apps when they were a novelty but not anymore

It's irrelevant you met your husbands years ago, things aren't the same anymore.

You were saying something similar to me that they're snapped up quickly? So they are on there even if briefly.

They might also not be looking for a long term relationship.

OLD always sounds grim going by the threads here. Kudos to anyone who's managed to wage through it and persevere to find someone decent.

I was selecting on looks (yes, shallow) and ended up with two very good looking men indeed.

One got red-pilled toward the end of our 'relationship', having claimed to be a feminist socialist- and now proudly proclaims himself a Trump and Brexit supporter (and a terf, incidentally- I remember him telling me avidly that he had 'fans' on mumsnet). He made awkward jokes about paedophilia a lot, including when my youngest son sat on his knee. He told me toward the end that he'd used viagra every time we had sex. At one point in the relationship he called me a 'feminist conspiracist'. He bragged constantly to his friends about the fact I went to a prestigious university, but also told me books meant nothing any more and a 'good tweet' was worth far more than a good article.

The other one was a hipster tech bro who told me AI was going to solve all the problems of humanity, including climate change which I should 'stop being negative about' and that my problem was I ought to meditate like he did and then I'd be happy (he was a chronic alcoholic, drug abuser and also desperate to date new women constantly and forever, under the mantle of being 'ethically non-monogamous'- what that actually meant was 'I do what I like when I like and if I go off you, that's your fault'.)

As for the rest, there are an awful lot of men on there looking for a sort of sex text service for when they are masturbating, or a free cam girl.

It really does seem a cess pit out there. I gave these guys as good as I got but ended up just bored with the whole egomaniac porn-obsessed rigmarole of it. I think it's a format that attracts narcissists and users.

By the way I selected both the above tossers on the fact they could write in sentences on their profiles as well as their looks. After trawling through hundreds of them you end up pathetically grateful for someone who can make a half decent joke or use a full stop.

Online dating is a godawful invention. Finding a lifetime partner is not like shopping but it seems to have turned people into consumers. I thank the lord I met my husband the real way. He'd have ticked barely any of my boxes but 17 years on we're still happy and in love with three brilliant sons. How sad if I'd ruled him out cos he was balding or he'd ruled me out cos we have completely different interests or he didn't like my curly hair. And even more thank god we didn't have the option to keep checking back online to see if there was someone a bit better out there for us.
I'd also add that 90 per cent of women I speak to about online dating are completely unrealistic about their level of attractiveness to men. If you're over 35/have children/carry weight/earn a low wage, you are not going to be prime pickings in online dating terms. Look for men 10-15 years older/with less hair/are fatter than you'd like and you might stand a chance. Handsome eligible men are going for 25 year olds who look hot and have no kids, because they can. Harsh but true.

I did OLD for a bit, the last guy was nice,repectable, good looking, great job in fact pretty perfect could never understand why he was doing OLD so they are there. But before him it was grim, dick pics, sexting, video calls with people who just wanted to wank 🤮🤢, I was once offered money for sex, called hardwork because I didn't respond in kind to an unsolicited dick pic.

I vowed never to do it again and even though it didn't work out with the last guy it showed me there are nice men out there just OLD isn't for me.

I get that good looking men aren't on these apps but I don't get how come they do the pose you describe. What is that about?! Serously!

Handsome eligible men are going for 25 year olds who look hot and have no kids, because they can.

This is a cliche, which I know to be untrue from RL.

You need to consider the age of the man. Men who are over 35/40 etc are usually separated or divorced with at least one child

Many of them absolutelydo not want to have more kids and they know the vast majority younger women (unless they already have them) will want kids.

I know a handsome, well groomed, home owning architect with a teenage daughter who chose (and had since married) a single Mum in her 30s with a 11/12 yr old DD. He had plenty of other options too

I know a silver fox handsome, well off, business owner divorce with teenage sons who chose a single Mum around his age (50s) with one late teen/early twenties DD, and they've since married.

It's a cliche.

It depends on the age & circumstances of the eligible man.

Also, I terms of low wage, old research shows that most men do not particularly rate women's earning power and that a woman having higher than a bachelor degree education actually works against them on old.

They probably don't want someone in debt etc but they are not as focused as women in earning ability, assets, status etc.

Oh and might I add that when myself and my do split it for 3 yrs, he (a very tall, quite conventionally handsome, well dressed, well earning professional in early 40s did not date 25 yr olds. He dated 39 somethings Inc the occasional single mums

He said he found early to mid 20 something women to be incredibly flaky.

That is an age when you g women have loads and loads of pulling and shagging and romantic opportunities through college, work, socialising etc. They are quite likely to be taking those opportunities and bouncing between them. Many many young women that age are not at the settling be with a 30 something man and buying a house and having kids stage yet. I had a relationship with an older man when I was 25/26, let's just say it ended with him getting rather bruised and having a wake up call about dating co decade younger etc women.

Still peddling this unrealistically red pill shite about all men going for 24 yr olds and getting them. And all 25 yr olds going for older nen. They don't with any regulatory (unless it's a financial arrangement!).

*my dp split it for 3 yrs, he (a very tall, quite conventionally handsome, well dressed, well earning professional in early 30s did not date 25 yr olds. He dated 30 somethings Inc the occasional single mum

*any regularity

Sounds like they arent using sex chatlines anymore. They are using OLD instead.

I used to work in a sex chatline office and we had quite a few callers who wanted to be bankrupted. Its a thing. Plus some of the other perverted stuff mentioned here. They must have kissed the sky when OLD came along.

To be fair - I was only the second person DH met online so he hadn’t been on long. It was only 6 years ago though - have things really changed so much? He’s a decent man, solvent and kind but already had children and was looking for someone similar.

I've never used OLD and probably never would. Some men are perfectly normal (i.e. not so handsome & charming that we are never single) and just don't like the whole idea of it - I'm one of those guys. I met my partner through a mutual friend.

Don't walk around with your eyes on the floor if you are OLD and think your only options are in your smartphone - you might meet somebody you like another way tomorrow!

So let's say this is true. Even though I think questionable.

Surely the same applies to women then?

If you're getting unattractive men that might be your level of attractiveness.

That doesn't factor in that there are more we adjusted women who take care of themselves than there are men.

I’m not going to argue about machetes or anything like that, of course that is something that men don’t have to worry about. But I think there is some exaggeration going on in this thread.

I tried OLD for the first time about three weeks ago (I’m 43, a widower with one child). Within what, 15 mins maybe, I’d matched with someone nice and we’ve since been on three dates and this weekend said we’d be exclusive. Her profile was one of the very few who’s photos were not filtered to the nth degree and she looked exactly how I expected.

I waded through dozens of profiles were it was impossible to tell what the person actually looked like. And some where the first pic was of their tits! Made me look at the rest I suppose.

Two of my mates are now in long term relationships having meet through OLD. None of us have porn addictions or anything like that. There are plenty of decent men out there I’m sure I just don’t think the format of OLD plays to a lots of men’s strengths

Each time I've done OLD I've ended up in a relationship.

I've never had unsolicited dick pics, I've never had a man wanting a video wank. I've had a few boring dates over the years but that's about it.

I've never dated a guy that's not on my level attractiveness wise or above!

I did get love bombed and into a committed relationship by a drip feeder who turned into an asshole! I could have met him anywhere!

I don't even believe that men keep dating multiples. The men I've dated online in the last few years have stayed getting to know me and only me until we've worked out if we'll get into a relationship or if we're not compatible.

I'm currently getting to know a decent looking, solvent, kind, no dc, man who's not rushing me but taking me out and getting to know me. He earns over double what I do and I'm 35 with dc! He's also a year or two younger. He's attracted to me, I'm attracted to him and we're having a great time getting to know each other.

Well the odds are good, but the goods are odd as they say..

And yes to be honest a lot of people aren’t realistic about their level of physical attractiveness, they expect everyone else to overlook their flaws/weight/height while not doing the same for others. I have a few single girlfriends who, while perfectly lovely, are very average looking. But they’re very much on the lookout for someone handsome, tall, muscular etc. their prerogative of course but their chances there are low 🤷🏼‍♀️

How do you know what online dating is like if you’ve been married for so long? And how do you know what all men like? Like every single man?
Are you an all powerful omniscient being with curly hair who has a penchant for bald men who don’t share any of your interests? Fair play if you are!

The acronym OLD or OLDS makes me think of old people dating one another. Lol

Met my OH in the ordinary way. Couldn’t be doing with this malarkey. He’s a tall, dark, handsome academic.

It is a sweetie jar and no they’re not.

Stop looking for husbands on Apps!