Men on OLD are the pits

[ArtisticYouth]

Seriously.. I've tried Tinder, Bumble and Hinge..

It's mostly the same old boring potato headed men gawking into their smartphone with a serial killer look on their face.

Where are the good looking men?

They're in 'real life' OP. On my short stint on dating apps, I must have swiped away hundreds or men, maybe more. I see nicer looking men more often just out & about.

@DaughterofBrum I saw a Neo-Viking type man on an app once. He said he liked his relationships like he likes his borders - open. Nice manipulative trick there - equating polyamory with being ethically superior and far left wing, which in no doubt he was.

Correction - 'which in no doubt he thought he was.'

As for the rest, there are an awful lot of men on there looking for a sort of sex text service for when they are masturbating, or a free cam girl.

I’ve just been using OLD since November and this is the impression I am starting to get, so from now on I only give men my number if we have a date coming up. For the ones who vaguely ask for a number with no mention of a date I tell them I’m not looking for a penpal.

Sometimes it’s not even a sexting thing but these men like female conversation and don’t have any female friends IRL so want to send you endless WhatsApp’s but those ones are time wasters so it’s still really annoying.

If a man can’t be bothered using my number to call and set up a date, I just stop responding to the texts and block if necessary.

And yes to be honest a lot of people aren’t realistic about their level of physical attractiveness, they expect everyone else to overlook their flaws/weight/height while not doing the same for others. I have a few single girlfriends who, while perfectly lovely, are very average looking. But they’re very much on the lookout for someone handsome, tall, muscular etc. their prerogative of course but their chances there are low 🤷🏼‍♀️
This in spades! My single, 22 year old colleague is OLD, she only looks at men that are over 6' tall and very athletic (muscular, obviously gym goers). She is 5'2 and a size 18, she doesn't believe in doing hair and makeup and her skin is not the best. Entirely up to her but I think it shockingly unlikely any of the men she is going for would be attracted to her (she hasn't had a date so far).
I am all for keeping the bar high but her level of unrealism is off the scale.

My single, 22 year old colleague is OLD, she only looks at men that are over 6' tall and very athletic (muscular, obviously gym goers). She is 5'2 and a size 18, she doesn't believe in doing hair and makeup and her skin is not the best.

That level of self awareness (unawareness ?) must be unusual as in reality don't people, on average, date people on a similar attraction level ?

The only time I see or hear of such extremes or disparities in looks or age within a couple is when another factor, such as money, is involved.

@foaf I'm not sure, obviously she is just an example of one person I know.
I think the body positivity movement may have had an effect perhaps and she genuinely feels 'entitled' to a hunk, she absolutely wouldn't look at an overweight man with poor skin but can't see those attributes in herself. Like I said though, she's had no dates so far!

That level of self awareness (unawareness?) must be unusual as in reality don't people, on average, date people on a similar attraction level?

Of course. But that doesn't stop them attempting to date those on a completely different level. 😃

True enough that it doesn't stop them attempting 😀. You're both right I think

I think if you are a vaguely normal looking man who can string a sentence together/nice, you'll easily meet someone. If you are attractive, you'll be inundated. For women it's much much harder. Of the single men I know, none are especially attractive or even that interesting if im honest, but are respectful and have normal jobs, but got lots of dates and are now in relationships. I still know lots of single women!

I think that young men who are reasonably intelligent and look ok will have the same issues that women have as far as partners are concerned. A couple of DD's male friends from Uni did OLD and they said it was pretty grim, OK if you were looking for a hook up but not so great if you wanted to meet someone to share your life with. They didn't stick with it, one is still single and content the other met and married a nice young woman at his work.

I meet my fiancé on OLD three years ago, I was very lucky as he was my second date, we are both 50 years old and he is the most loving, caring man I have ever been with, he is also really fit and handsome and I know at least 4 couples that meet in OLD and are very happy, the little experience I had with OLD is that I always tried to match with men who appears normal, what I mean, not bragging about all those holidays they’ve taken, all those hobbies that made me feel he won’t have time for a relationship, the ones that may appear boring on paper, give them a chance, mine was a bit boring on his texts, he never tried to flirt or talk about any sexual conversation just normal daily stuff like work, children, family, what he likes to watch on the TV, you name it

I remember chatting to a guy when I was doing OLD and was so surprised when he said he struggled getting dates or even replies from girls. He was good looking,intelligent, great job, and came across as a lovely guy. So it's not always the case that a good looking guy will be inundated.

My son is v early 30's, professional career, own home/mortgage, loads of friends and great social life. He certainly doesn't look like a serial killer.

He can't meet anyone either. Tbh he isn't that bothered anymore - too many bad experiences OLD.

If anything, men outnumber women so there is always a surplus of men (especially in the UK, but not as bad as India, china or the middle east?. Hence why women can be more picky. Also why average and below average women still get a lot of male attention at pubs, clubs and OLD

I think there will always be exceptions but from my experience, it's been that case. I think OLD has had its day now. Its no longer something different or quirky.

I think OLD also had a boom during lockdown when people couldn't get out to a pub but now everyone is back to normal life, like you say its had its day.

I've a better chance of meeting a guy at the gym or work than on an app these days I reckon.

Yes, men do outnumber the women by quite a lot I think. I'd rather meet someone in real life, but think I'll at least have a look at OLD, though I suspect I won't like it.

You've given up then on OLD, OP?

Ha ha ha where do these twats get dug up from?!

Ha ha ha where do these twats get dug up from?!

I think we are being very tough here. Don't really see anything wrong with what he said. He's giving useful info about his politics and the type of relationship he's looking for. He's not judging or dissing anyone else. He's doing it in a reasonably engaging way....

I'd much rather he's open about looking for an open relationship than pretends to be faithful.... so I'm not sure where the manipulative or twattish part is?

Name changed to protect the innocent.

To be honest I think most people on OLD are the pits, not just the men. And I say that as a man who has being OLD for over a year.

A bit about me. Slim, fit, most hair in place, beard that can be removed if requested, slightly on the short side (5-6) into my second half century. Very w highly educated (multiple degrees) own house, car, decent job, very well travelled, I'd like to think I am quite friendly and chatty but that is less objective. I wouldn't say I was handsome but not awful looking either. I'd like to think I was quite normal and that a lot of people would consider me "reasonable" if not top level dating material.

Had any luck ? Well close to zero. The last encounter I had she posted a photo about 15 years younger than she was. I would guess she was about 5-10 years older than she claimed she was (although I never found out for certain) and a few other things about her appearance that I am too polite to mention. But she was funny and we got on well. I ended it after a couple of dates because she repeatedly started calling me "on the spectrum" because I had the audacity to tell her I liked a completely normal popular activity which both men and women do (which I wont go into here because it would be too outing). For some reason she didn't seem to understand how offensive this was, even when I explained it to her.

My general experience of OLD is that a significant fraction of the women lie through their teeth, have unrealistic expectations of what they expect in a partner and are extremely choosy about who they will bother to communicate with (even people who I think I would be well matched on a hobbies basis don't seem to want to respond). I'm guessing that most of my lack of success is probably due to my height, which I think probably gets me excluded from a good 75% of candidates before they even see my profile.

So, after these last efforts, I have decided to pretty much finish, but I'm going to have one final go and have an experiment - delete my old profile, then resubscribe for a month and come up with a new one, on which I am going to absolutely lie like hell. I can easily pass for 10 years younger than I am so I'm going to lie about that and sell myself about 2.5 inches taller (which I can just about carry off in the right shoes) and then lie about a whole load of other stuff and see where that takes me.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

A friend is OLDing at the moment, or at least trying to. She shows me some of the people she’s looking through; there is an abundance of things which I would look at in a photo and instantly discount. But it’s all superficial.
makes me realise how shallow it all is. Or maybe just a reflection on how shallow I am!
Just glad I’m not OLDing. If I were single now I couldn’t be arsed to go through it all, I’d much rather meet someone organically through a social life than meet someone on the phone but I’m aware that not everyone is the same so I’m not saying it to slag off OLDing, just looks like a lot of effort!

I met my [I think] very attractive partner on Tinder 4.5 years ago. FWIW, he had a terrible photo that was teeny tiny & I swiped right by accident (he knows that!😂) but they are out there on the apps!

@JudesBiggestFan you sound absolute ghastly