Can we have a thread about ways in which your partner initiates sexual intercourse?

[FrannyandZooey]

Do they use certain words or phrases? Or is it more of an action thing?

and is it just mine who tries to think up comedy ones?

This is so good, I can identify with so many of these err... requests

so funny, my mum aws right, they are all the same after all!!

oh emkana I completely see what you mean

my last comment was meant to be jokey and a bit sarky to be honest, but I didn't put an emoticon thingy on there (I often get into bother when I do that)

what I meant in my head was, some of these are SO BAD that I even feel new respect for my dp who makes awful comedy come ons (as mentioned in OP)

it was a rude thing to say but I think we are all laughing about one another's stories here so it was not actually meant to insult anyone

they are very very funny though

dp has a range of tactics. Last night he said he had a cold todger (after being out running) and I could warm it up if I liked. In tones of bestowing a great favour on me

My bf's dh tucks his meat and two veg between his legs and then says...

"Would you like to make a man of me?"

I think I may ask dp to read this thread then surprise me

he can proposition me in the style of a different poster's husband every night for WEEKS

it could be quite exciting really
will I get AlistairSim's hand-rubbing in doorways?

or will I get my pants peered at a la ShinyHappy

emkana.. doesn't really matter if she's being mean

and do you really care? things are as they are
smug is annoying in real life
on here it's just..

"yeah and...."?

normally mn makes you feel "i'm not alone"..well apart from mrs guitar i think i am on this one!

oops franny cross-posted
more please if you are in the mood..... as twere

oh I feel slightly crushed now

i knew what emkana meant, absolutely, but you seem to be saying I am smug but it shouldn't annoy anyone?

yeah i guess i was
but you came back much too nicely and too quickly so take it all back with knobs

can't get annoyed on here it's just so far away from everything and ain't that just the point

I think we have had enough knobs on here yes, take them back

oh stuffit there was a thread about that last night, I maintain you can get FUMING about things people say on here, of course you can! you wait...are you sort of newish?

I get "I want to DO you" usually when im cooking tea/unloading the tumble drier & have children screaming at me. Its usually been days since he had a shower, he has a grubby stubbly beard & is wearing smelly work clothes.

I have tried saying to him "would that romantic approach have worked when you were single, its definately NOT going to work now"

Hmm then they wonder why they dont "get" any LOL

Jack Russelling: check
Willy windmill: check

No doorway fetish but... playing air guitar with willy, anyone?

yes franny and i don't know anyone here in rl
i'm not even sure i would go to any meet ups

imagine sitting over dinner with a guy wanted his "bag emptied" last night

and all the girls knowing my dh twitches his leg when he wants a bit

lawks a mercy

gtg school run
air guitar
running with a to pick up kids

yes you see I DO know quite a lot of people on here which is another reason I was being a bit coy. I did once name change to ask about a vaguely embarrassing health issue and was instantly recognisable to a poster who knew me - she said she was haunted by the phrase I quoted from dp [heh heh]

the bag emptying thing is QUITE BAD isn't it

well you may turn out to be a lot more normal and wellbalanced than me but I get VERY CROSS about MN sometimes. I bet you will one day if you get addicted atick around

Mine says he has a dsb that needs servicing!!!!!!

F+Z I'm quite new on here (and am already addicted) but -I'm now hoping- I don't know anyone on here yet. I do worry sometimes about revealing toooo much (DH's air guitar thing sounds as if I'm laughing at him but actually I find it hilarious and always laugh WITH him - and if comedy is one of the ways he uses to get his wicked way then I'm all up for it... sounds a bit like yours!)

Have seen your posts before (and have not yet thought feck she's completely wrong). What makes you cross about MN, for all us newbies out there who are now rueing the day we ever signed up?

And then we'll go back to willy windmills...

I tend to initiate it as often as possible, as if I leave it too long he says something like 'are you up for a sex marathon' and normally at a highly inappropriate time.

This is the funniest thread ever.

However the only one of these I can imagine being in the least bit sexy is Mr FullMoonFiend and his Sean Bean/Lady Chatterley's Lover impression. Phwooarr.

God can't believe how setreotypical dh is...siad I wanted to go on a lose baby-weight diet (low carb, high protein) and he said...yep, "I've got some protein for you..."
Would lose weight that way it's true, he's not 17 anymore

kissing

oh god this is so embarrassing he does not have a line

Dh usually brings home something sweet for pudding then asks several times if I like it/if I appreciate him bringing it home before saying something along the lines of "You could always show me how much you appreciate it". [sigh]

Cappucino-oh I am jealous! I wish dh would try to initiate it by kissing-he seems to expect us to go from days of no physical contact straight into full on bonking!

i couldn't post on the thread when weeing myself laughing last night as Dh was sat reading this thread over my shoulder

BUT

He usually cooks a lovely dinner opens a bottle of wine then shortly afterwards cuddles up to me sticking one hand down my top grapling with breast and the other making its way between my legs.- no chat
if I go with it he would like to get to the full on bonking straight away but most of the time I tell him to slow down.

if it is in the mornings he rolls over and grabs my hand then says "you did that"

have not had time to read whole thread ( but will do later)- Dp has been known to whisper "Do you want to play hide the sausage?"

and once said "come on- let the dog see the rabbit"

Romance is alive and kicking in our house

This thread is soooo funny.
When I was away with for a girls weekend the friend I was sleeping next to slid her arm across me the next morning and we p**ssed ourselves laughing as we referred to the Saturday morning hand