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Original poster

Online dating: what do men look for in a woman?

145 replies

NorthAngel · 20/11/2022 18:28

Hi,

Not enjoying OLD at all. I’m finding it a tough experience after coming out of a 23 year marriage. I was very inexperienced on the dating field when I was younger (more interested in getting my career on track and shyness) so haven’t got much clue about OLD.

What do men look for in a woman? Older women (I’m 50 but a young 50).

Just wondered!

OP posts:
munnytrin · 27/11/2022 11:02

Can we stop with the arguments over ageing male and female bodies.

People calling older women 'dried up old prunes', regardless of the childishness about who might have been negative about men first, was still unjustified and needed calling out.

Sorry to have interrupted the thread about your dating problems to do so, but I hope you can see that sort of thing doesn't usually go unchallenged on Mumsnet and that's a good thing.

Joey69 · 27/11/2022 11:55

It's not a personal attack on the male readers here to say ED is rife in 40+ men from what I anecdotally heard.

but people get upset when someone challenges the statement above? ^^

Roundbasket · 27/11/2022 12:04

Joey69 · 27/11/2022 11:55

It's not a personal attack on the male readers here to say ED is rife in 40+ men from what I anecdotally heard.

but people get upset when someone challenges the statement above? ^^

You didn’t challenge that Ed is rife in older men because even you know how common it is . You simply said it’s easy to deal with in your opinion

and yes sorry OP munnytrin is right name calling of women is not ok .

Joey69 · 27/11/2022 12:09

Roundbasket · 27/11/2022 12:04

You didn’t challenge that Ed is rife in older men because even you know how common it is . You simply said it’s easy to deal with in your opinion

and yes sorry OP munnytrin is right name calling of women is not ok .

Show quote history

i didn’t, but I can see that someone else has ( quite rightly),

I simply pointed out its easy to treat…

JackandVera · 27/11/2022 13:34

munnytrin · 27/11/2022 01:37

No it was not.

You didn't use the term 'atrophy' you said old women were dried up old prunes which is just a general insult rather than a colloquial term for atrophy. Scroll back a few posts if you can't recall what you said. Christ!

Show quote history

You are not reading the post correctly. I was not saying prunes. I was suggesting that that is the kind of thing men could say.

JackandVera · 27/11/2022 13:34

munnytrin · 27/11/2022 11:02

Can we stop with the arguments over ageing male and female bodies.

People calling older women 'dried up old prunes', regardless of the childishness about who might have been negative about men first, was still unjustified and needed calling out.

Sorry to have interrupted the thread about your dating problems to do so, but I hope you can see that sort of thing doesn't usually go unchallenged on Mumsnet and that's a good thing.

You really really have not followed this.

JackandVera · 27/11/2022 13:38

JackandVera · 26/11/2022 19:10

and that is what I meant. The way some people refer to men on here in that respect is appalling. Men could easily say " oh god yeah all those old 50s women with their dry fannies" Both sexes age and have issues.

Show quote history

I used inverted commas to quote.

JackandVera · 27/11/2022 13:40

Roundbasket · 27/11/2022 02:12

@JackandVera

as a woman ( which you say you are ) have you actually experienced menopause or been on hrt ?
you seem to be making quite a few statements about it

Yes to your questions.

JackandVera · 27/11/2022 13:49

NorthAngel · 27/11/2022 09:42

Can we stop with the arguments over ageing male and female bodies.

I just mentioned about that guy as a way of addressing why he called it a day so quickly. I really feel bad he felt like that as I’m not the sort of person who would’ve though anything less of him and, like you guys have said, there is treatment available.

Of course, he genuinely might have had second thoughts about me!

Yes i agree with you and I am baffled as to why people are up in arms about the suggestion that many men over 40 have ED and it is OK to make sweeping statements like that about them. My point was if this was a man came on here and used any kind of slang language or factual language that many women over 40 have vaginal atrophy and are unable to have sex blah blah the result would be outrage. There really is no point in continuing with this what I thought was a very obvious point with people who are blinded by a few words which indicated how men might talk. Good luck @NorthAngel . I met my H online.

Original poster
NorthAngel · 27/11/2022 14:01

EBearhug · 27/11/2022 10:36

All men are shit in bed, and all men over 40 cannot get an erection

Definitely not all. Some are incredibly good.

I agree!

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 27/11/2022 14:08

@JackandVera
Thank you x
Are you going to share where you met him?

OP posts:
BuryingAcorns · 27/11/2022 14:18

Msgrieves · 25/11/2022 23:07

Tbh though that person described sounds boring and generic as fuck. They are 10 a penny on OLD so you will both do well.

Show quote history

Not necessarily but I think that description is too generic OP. One man's city break is a tour of Arsenal stadium and a night in Wetherspoons. Another man's city break is architectural walking guides and an avant garde opera. You might hate both! Liking the outdoors can range from wild camping and climbing rockfaces in snow blizzards to a gentle stroll around an NT garden!
I'd be a bit more specific, and also say something about your own personality type.

JackandVera · 27/11/2022 14:21

NorthAngel · 27/11/2022 14:08

@JackandVera
Thank you x
Are you going to share where you met him?

Plenty of Fish !

5128gap · 27/11/2022 14:48

JackandVera · 27/11/2022 13:34

You are not reading the post correctly. I was not saying prunes. I was suggesting that that is the kind of thing men could say.

Show quote history

We all know 'the kind of things men say' so not sure what a woman gets from repeating them on here as part of their defence of men, but still.
Most of us also know there is a huge difference between referencing a medical problem that effects the sexual performance of many older men and calling women 'dried up old prunes'.
Acknowledging the problem of ED is not an insult to men. Its a fact of life that they can't help (or cure as easily as suggested, in many cases, otherwise none of them would have it) and pretending it doesn't exist, insulting women or telling them off for discussing it doesn't change a thing.
If you're a man without the problem, or a woman who doesn't mind, great. It doesn't alter the fact that many women experience this issue when dating older men, just as the OP has done.
Now, we could go back to pretending it isn't a thing, and if a man can't perform then it must be because the woman isn't desirable enough to him. But we all know that's a big lie designed to protect male egos at the expense of women, so why not be honest about a generic, not personal issue, without all the defensiveness?

munnytrin · 27/11/2022 14:50

You really really have not followed this.

Far from it if you read the thread, Jack. @JackandVera

munnytrin · 27/11/2022 14:50

Bold fail!

You really really have not followed this.

Far from it if you read the thread, Jack. @JackandVera

PickledRat · 27/11/2022 18:55

Interesting thread. One thing that chimes true to me is the ED warning signs. My experience of OLD is that most men are after sex/fwb/casual. The man I met that appeared respectful and after a genuine relationship was the one with ED.

Original poster
NorthAngel · 27/11/2022 18:59

JackandVera · 27/11/2022 14:21

Plenty of Fish !

Show quote history

Ahhhh. Well done!

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 27/11/2022 19:02

PickledRat · 27/11/2022 18:55

Interesting thread. One thing that chimes true to me is the ED warning signs. My experience of OLD is that most men are after sex/fwb/casual. The man I met that appeared respectful and after a genuine relationship was the one with ED.

What happened with the ED one?

OP posts:
PickledRat · 27/11/2022 19:42

He got hard initially but couldn’t maintain a decent erection. We are just friends now! I got back OLD and all the usual types were there, chatting for 5 minutes and them asking if you want a date round their place - you know the type😀. Currently single.

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