Thoughts on this guy giving me the ick

[apricotsandroses]

So a guy I've been dating is starting to give me the famous "ick" - some of these reasons are obviously ridiculous but some of them are red flags right? It's been about 2 months & we're both late twenties.

• keeps referencing that he's in love with me when I'm obviously uncomfortable (I said it back once about a month ago after too much to drink but I do not feel this way and have not said it since)
• when he says he loves me or misses me and I don't respond to that part of the message he replies with "harsh"
• when I say I have to go when we're on the phone he whines and says "5 more mins" which always turns into ages
• when out for a drink and I only want to stay for one he always pushes and pushes for me to stay out later with him
• he sends photos of his dinner every night and asks in detail what I'm having for dinner and what the recipe is
• always says "yummy"
• acts really mopey if we're out with a group of other people and I'm talking to other people and not him for a while
• is really over the top when I'm ill or walking home alone - "couldn't sleep until I know you're better/safe" "it's all I think about" "I just care about your well-being and safety so much"
• always boasted about being good at sport and when I watched him he was AWFUL
• always double texts if I don't text back within 30 mins
• sends super long goodnight texts every single night that are soooo soppy in reply to my "goodnight! Talk tomorrow" - I mean like paragraphs of "you're amazing and beautiful, I miss you and love you so much" and if I don't respond before sleep he texts "oi" until I do...
• wears a backpack that is sooo far down his back it looks ridiculous
• keeps talking about wanting to get me pregnant instantly (this is absolutely not of interest to me and I haven't slept with him)

Wow after typing all this out I'm even more convinced I need to end it this week!!

@apricotsandroses This has been a great thread, but come oooon, updates!

Wow this isn't the ick this is more red flags 🚩 than a Labour Party victory! Going on about getting you pregnant when you haven't even had sex yet? Wow! Also so needy and over the top on texts too. What's in the low down backpack? Some sort of murder kit? Get rid OP

Run like the wind 🏃‍♀️

Hello everyone! Thanks so much for all your replies - some of them made me laugh out loud

For all those saying I have boundary issues - I absolutely do have very poor boundaries, which is something I'm working through in therapy. Childhood trauma and all that. Additionally as previous posters have mentioned, I've been conditioned (as I'm sure many of us have) to give men multiple chances even if their behaviour is problematic.

For those wondering how it got this bad... it all happened in quite a sly way. Anyway, I ended things and he threw a huge strop. I'm hoping he's more of a man child rather than a sinister character... we'll see. I did actually bump into him a few days later and he was very cold with me so fingers crossed. I feel free!

In the backpack was all his work stuff & laptop AND a first aid kit haha! He literally used to carry it everywhere.

Oh also forgot to add this ick - he used to insist we watch all the same shows together at the same time when we were apart and asked me to text a "countdown" to press play. Used to get really whiny and stroppy if I watched an episode of a random show without telling him so he could watch it too...

Oh also forgot to add this ick - he used to insist we watch all the same shows together at the same time when we were apart and asked me to text a "countdown" to press play. Used to get really whiny and stroppy if I watched an episode of a random show without telling him so he could watch it too...

So me and DP used to do this when we were dating, albeit without any of the stroppiness.

Are we... Icky? 😅🙈

Thanks for the update. So glad you called it a day! What you said about him is really worrying.

Neediness = ick

We all told you to end it last time you posted - what’s the hold up??

Only read main post, nothing else.

But wow. He sounds like a creepy, love bombing potential stalker. I'm not sure how you lasted two months 😩

🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Oh dear, get rid he's creepy

The only one that wouldn't bother me is wanting to know you get home okay etc...
As for the rest
Run for the hills

This sounds like an ex of mine.

It was not love or care but extreme need for control, listen to your ick and run while you feel it. It will help you to dodge a bullet…

This is supposed to be your honeymoon period! He's clearly not for you. The hills are that way --->

😱

wears a backpack that is sooo far down his back it looks ridiculous

😂😂

but in all seriousness… EW.

The hills are alive…with the sound of music….

Yes this. Are you enjoying being repulsed by him? You’re kind of humiliating him by continuing the relationship.

I used to have a friend who did the texting and then repeated texting of "Oi" until I replied or blocked him. It's so rude! Not to mention incredibly annoying. I've no idea how you've lasted 2 months. I think I'd stay celibate for life if he was the only other option!