Thoughts on this guy giving me the ick

[apricotsandroses]

So a guy I've been dating is starting to give me the famous "ick" - some of these reasons are obviously ridiculous but some of them are red flags right? It's been about 2 months & we're both late twenties.

• keeps referencing that he's in love with me when I'm obviously uncomfortable (I said it back once about a month ago after too much to drink but I do not feel this way and have not said it since)
• when he says he loves me or misses me and I don't respond to that part of the message he replies with "harsh"
• when I say I have to go when we're on the phone he whines and says "5 more mins" which always turns into ages
• when out for a drink and I only want to stay for one he always pushes and pushes for me to stay out later with him
• he sends photos of his dinner every night and asks in detail what I'm having for dinner and what the recipe is
• always says "yummy"
• acts really mopey if we're out with a group of other people and I'm talking to other people and not him for a while
• is really over the top when I'm ill or walking home alone - "couldn't sleep until I know you're better/safe" "it's all I think about" "I just care about your well-being and safety so much"
• always boasted about being good at sport and when I watched him he was AWFUL
• always double texts if I don't text back within 30 mins
• sends super long goodnight texts every single night that are soooo soppy in reply to my "goodnight! Talk tomorrow" - I mean like paragraphs of "you're amazing and beautiful, I miss you and love you so much" and if I don't respond before sleep he texts "oi" until I do...
• wears a backpack that is sooo far down his back it looks ridiculous
• keeps talking about wanting to get me pregnant instantly (this is absolutely not of interest to me and I haven't slept with him)

Wow after typing all this out I'm even more convinced I need to end it this week!!

Oooh no get rid. I got rid of one after 3 dates because he wore the same jumper on each date
And he was boring . Think Tim:nice but dim 🤣🤣

is really over the top when I'm ill or walking home alone - "couldn't sleep until I know you're better/safe" "it's all I think about" "I just care about your well-being and safety so much"

^ This is the biggest red flag of the lot imo. How long will it be before he decides he simply can't let you go out on your own without constantly checking up on you, or insisting that he comes too because he 'cares about you so much'?

The obsession with wanting to know about what you eat is a concern too. Soon, you won't be able to so much as eat a biscuit without the Spanish Inquisition.

Ugh, he sounds jealous and controlling and it will only get worse, won’t take long to turn to full on abuse, that’s why he wants to trap you with a pregnancy.

I suspect you’ll have a bit of a stalker on your hands once you end it.

Run don’t look back.

You’re just not that into him haha🫣 Jeez end it! If you need to write a huge list of what puts you off he’s really not the one for you.

acts really mopey if we're out with a group of other people and I'm talking to other people and not him for a while

Apart from all the rest, most of which are just irritating, this ^^ would be a dealbreaker for me. That will not get any better as the relationship develops. He's not going to suddenly change and not mind you talking to other people when you're out.

He sounds far too intense op, to the point of becoming controlling, and I'd urge you to listen to your instincts.

Oh my goodness are you seeing my ex? Massive red flags I’ve made a special effort just to reply to this. This is so similar to a situation with an ex, these things start so small but eventually it gets worse, in time my relationship turned into coercive control even down to the back pack which is weird I think he hid his alcohol in these, in time an alcohol problem was discovered!

I was dating a guy like this, exactly like this, except the sport was singing and once I actually heard him I could've crawled into my own arsehole with embarrassment. Turned out to be the biggest controlling, narcissistic, abusive cheat ever who ruined my life as I was sucked in before it was too late. Moved himself into my house in the exact same way, felt too bad to say anything as he cooked and spoilt me at first and I felt ungrateful. Such intense love bombing that when he turned and nothing I did was ever right, I was desperate to please him to get his approval back.

RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!

It's given me the ice just reading in. By the end the hairs in my arms were standing on end in discomfort. At best he's truly annoying and needy at worst he's love bombing and controlling, later today be abusive. Either way I'd not carry on a day longer

Jesus he sounds like a toddler, not a grown man.

Bin!

Ew. Reminds me of a guy I dated who called me ‘tweacle’ on the third (and last) date. 🤢

Doesn’t like you talking to others when you’re out? That alone would make me run.

oh no, this has abuser coming your way written all over it!

YUK!

Lol@the backpack worn too low. Does he also wrap his school jumper around his waist? 😂

You don't love him. There's no shame in accepting the truth

When you end it, I strongly suggest you do it either over the phone, or in a public place.

Massive red flags from him.

Also a few red flags from you. You told him you loved him but it was a lie. But you keep him hanging on to that lie, instead of telling him the truth. You've kept seeing him, even though you clearly despise him. Instead of just telling him "this isn't working for me," you've kept seeing him and texting with him, and somehow expect him to get the message he needs to back off.

You need to dump him and maybe take some time to reflect on your own emotional intelligence.

Jesus Lord, get out quick!😫

Definite no!

Plenty more fish in the sea, OP. Get a real one, not a limpet.

OMG avoid avoid avoid!!

Its difficult. He might just be a decent guy who has no idea how to act properly around women. Or he could be a potential nightmare.
Its amazing though how many friends talk about wanting a nice guy whos super simping for them but end up going for the players or someone who treats them like an afterthought, and then complain about it. I just think well you picked him, you like chasing a guy and having that drama, rather than the boring guy whos texting all the time and is a bit of a dweeb.

I thought this might be the type of thread where it wasn’t always obvious why you had the ick however nearly all of these are massive red flags. I wouldn’t be able to continue to date this person.

Fuck ME 🤮