I'd say my mum manages to control the narrative of what happens a lot in life and the thing that's getting me down is Christmas
A bout a month she said "I told you our plans for Xmas didn't I?"
I said "no?"and honestly I believe she knew she hadn't told me. But because we were visiting my gran and my aunty was milling around the house I think she chose to tell me the plan in a sort of middle ground scenario.
So anyway she said her and my dad were going to a certain lovely hotel in a city and it was just what they wanted to do by themselves. Except it's not actually by themselves.
I asked who was going she said "well just me and dad and then I imagine (my brother+ partner) and (my aunt+partner) since they are in this city.
So I feel hurt because it's like the closest people in my family all getting together except me and my husband + kids.
So I spoke to my brother about it who thought we were going and when I told him no we weren't invited he did seem miffed about it. He told me he had confirmed with mum about a month previous to this conversation so her saying she imagined theyd go was just bollocks since she's already booked the place for lunch.
Then came the information that my mum had told my brother me and DH we're having Xmas with DH's parents which is just not true and has never been discussed.
I think she fed that to my brother so he'd agree to go to the hotel with my parents thinking I was already in some other Xmas arrangement.
( If it was just my mum and dad going I'd have invited my brother to my house for Christmas lunch)
Basically, I just feel hurt it seems like we've been excluded. Even when I asked her why she said to my brother about us being with the in-laws she said "I told him I THOUGHT you were doing that". But she had never made any conversation with me to ask what we were doing and didn't ask if we wanted to go to the hotel.
I have attachment issues from being a teen when they decided to move abroad and I stayed in the UK from 15 yrs old. I honestly haven't really gotten over if and I am always seeking more of a relationship with them than I get.
I'm just sad today.