Would you support a partner through addiction?

[Stewi]

would it be a dealbreaker or if not at what point would it become a dealbreaker?

What paper is this for ?

Id always put my kids first, so if it was a repeat problem, then no.

I wouldn't support him through a gambling addiction, that's for sure.

Addiction and support of addiction isn’t a black and white issue.

a million different details would change the answer for me

Yes why would you not? Is that not what being in a committed relationship means?

No. My children's home is not a therapy centre. But then I'm not married.

Do you experience of addiction in a partner?

It depends what it is doesn't it? Painkillers for a reasonable length of time provided I could see they are trying to resolve it, heroin absolutely not, not even for 1 day.

🥃 yep. Life is too short for this shit.

No addict I know has wanted help.

so many variables.

1. is this a long term partner who has now developed an addiction? Then yes I am more likely to. If it is a new partner, not a chance
2. have they acknowledged addiction and getting help, or are they not really taking it seriously
3. are they violent (then they have to leave immediately, and I am not sure I would wnat to support them even at a distance
4. How long has this been going on? If a long time, and has involved a lot of deceit, them I am less likely to feel confident that we could get past this
5. what are they addicited to? How does it effect me and my kids? What are the success rates for beating it? How willing are they to hand over some things to me to protect us?

But I wouldn't blame anyone who left, and I think I might want them to move out while they sorted themselves, and it would be a long slow return

It depends on so many things I don't have a blanket yes or no answer.
This is such a serious and big issue it would depend on the details and context.

I wouldn't put up with an addict unless they were in established recovery. Addicts cannot sustain a relationship apart from the one they are in with the substance they are abusing.

I tired. I thought I could. Turns I couldn’t. Wish I had realised that a lot sooner.

Depends on whether being subjected to lies, cheating, stealing, gaslighting, violence, criminality, potentially being exposed to HIV and Hepatitis/future liver cancer without your knowledge, having somebody consistently emotionally, practically and sometimes physically absent whilst being portrayed as an abuser by the one carrying out the abuse in the process is part and parcel of your definition of commitment, I guess.

Absolutely this. And agree with pp who said that my children's home is not a therapy centre.

absolutely

It completely depends on the individual circumstances.

If you've been together 20years and the addiction is recent then yes. If you met him a month ago and found he's a cocaine addict, no way hozay.

Most people don't know what they'd do until they were in that situation. If you suddenly discover that a much loved partner has a secret addiction, chances are you would support them. If it became obvious they were lying, cheating, stealing in order to fund the habit, then that's a different story but if the partner wanted to get help, I think most of us would support them.

I did it. In the end, he chose the addiction but I stood by him for a year while he claimed he was getting help. When I discovered he was lying to me and his therapist, it was over.

Depends. If I had kids with them probably not. I was the child of an alcoholic and wouldn't put my kids through that.
As someone above said not if they were a gambling addict.
My ex was a heroin addict and if he had relapsed I like to think I would have supported him especially knowing he had been strong enough to get clean previously.

Snap.
Hope you’re ok now.

Lots of people are highly functional whilst addicts so definitely depends on the impact on me and my family

Depends on the finer details. Do they actually admit to the problem and really want to get on top of it. What impact has it had on the kids, family finances and the relationship. What was the addiction?
I don’t think it’s a clear cut yes/no question

Depends. If they were actively seeking help, in therapy, taking medication, on a treatment programme and so on then I’d give them a chance. I wouldn’t support them through endless relapses. But then I also wouldn’t endlessly support a partner through any other mental health problem unless I was convinced they were committed to helping themselves and there was recovery in sight.