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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Did anything awful ever happen to your ex? I feel guilty for being happy about it

106 replies

Retopa · 07/10/2022 20:11

Something awful has happened to mine and my initial reaction was happiness. I hate myself for this and since I’ve reflected i do also feel sad it has happened. His is DC’s dad and that alone makes me feel terrible. He’s never met dc and gave me hell but honestly I was glad he is suffering. I’m a bitch for that, I know. Can’t tell anyone IRL!

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 07/10/2022 20:15

He's not DC's dad really is he? Dad means the opposite of "never met".

You enjoy his misfortune I would I would also cheer and take you for a gin IRL and say "it couldn't have happened to a nice guy" whilst getting in round two!

Hope it's long, painful and expensive for him.

SpinningFloppa · 07/10/2022 20:20

I wish it would but nope so far he is living his “best life”

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 07/10/2022 20:28

My exh recently died. The relief is massive. Years of abuse weight lifted..
Dc know nothing of my joy..
Yanbu op.

HighlandPony · 07/10/2022 20:32

Yeh but mine was the opposite. The last thing I ever said to him was “I hope someone hurts you as much as you fucking hurt me, see how you like it you bastard”. Seven years after that he was going through a shitty divorce and the ex wife was being an area about seeing his three kids and he hung himself. Want to believe if I’d have known I’d have tried to help and be the bigger person but I’m a bit of a spiteful cow if I’ve been wronged and don’t know if I really would have after seven years or if I’d have just twisted the knife. Doesn’t make me feel good about myself either. I see his wee girls when I go to my grandads and still get proper heart palpitations

Swivellingbrat · 07/10/2022 20:38

An abusive ex died a couple of years ago - I am relieved he is no longer in the world.

The love of my life who dumped me years ago is single and childless at the age of 55, whereas I am happily married with wonderful adult children. I know a couple of traumatic things have happened to him, while I don’t feel good about it, I am happy he has had a less than idyllic life.

DrDetriment · 07/10/2022 20:42

Wow. Yes you are all very nasty people for being glad about someone else's misfortune.

Frith2013 · 07/10/2022 20:49

I quite enjoyed the general little things that happened to him. (Girlfriends leaving him, jobs sacking him etc. Things that were of his own making).

Then 2 of his close family members died in appalling and violent accidents, a few years apart. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Stressfordays · 07/10/2022 20:52

Yep! There has been a string of events happen to my ex (all his own doing but too outing to say) and each time I heard of one, my smile and confidence has grown a little more. Karma does come.

limitededitionbarbie · 07/10/2022 20:54

DrDetriment · 07/10/2022 20:42

Wow. Yes you are all very nasty people for being glad about someone else's misfortune.

Depends really what they have put you though

HideousKinky · 07/10/2022 20:55

Boyfriend who broke my heart at university got dumped at the altar 3 years later.
It gave me some satisfaction as he was a player

Original poster
Retopa · 07/10/2022 20:58

Thanks this has made me feel better!

my ex put me through utter hell at a really really vulnerable time in my life. I was tormented mentally and physically broken. The impact lasted a long time. He’s a very cold man and I have always hoped he felt extremely alone. I know it makes me an utter bitch!

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 07/10/2022 21:00

In his second ex wife ex wife number 1 dated a man with the same name as "our" ex husband then before they got married he died in a freak accident we said the wrong one died our ex husband is a child abusing wife beating cunt who deserves justice and never gets it he always gets away with things the last time he got arrested i said if he gets sent to prison I'm off somewhere he can't find me and the kids of course he got away with it and I'm still here

Why haven't I gone? If I move he will take me to court and gain

Isaidnoalready · 07/10/2022 21:01

Legal access to the children as in a court order for him to harrass and abuse me with so I stick to the rules and mitigate damages and hope the next arrest sticks

DismantledKing · 07/10/2022 21:03

I think it’s only natural if you’ve been treated very badly by people. I’m on friendly-ish terms with all my exes, but then I’ve been fortunate enough not to have experienced abuse by them.

Original poster
Retopa · 07/10/2022 21:05

I am embarrassed to say when dc was a baby I used to think ex might have died as the anxiety and stress he caused was so awful I could barely function. He’s played no part in DC’s life because he’s revolting.

OP posts:
Tealpoppy · 07/10/2022 21:09

My ex put me through hell,sexual assault being the more ‘minor’ end of things-he never met my dd and certainly didn’t pay a penny for her

his brother messaged me on fb to tell me that he had died (with a needle in his arm apparently) and I’m not ashamed to admit I cheered

and then I blocked his brother and got on with my life

TabithaTittlemouse · 07/10/2022 21:12

My xh was very abusive but I don’t feel good at his bad luck as it affects my dc.

alwaysmovingforwards · 07/10/2022 21:16

DrDetriment · 07/10/2022 20:42

Wow. Yes you are all very nasty people for being glad about someone else's misfortune.

True.

Just goes to show that beneath all the fake smiles, there are some awful people that walk among us. How sad for them.

Wetblanket78 · 07/10/2022 21:17

Karma has a way of catching up with assholes. And biting them on the ass when they least expect it.

altmember · 07/10/2022 21:22

Harbouring all the anger and hatred at an ex holds you back as a person and leaves you jaded and bitter. You're not truly over someone until the point that you genuinely don't care enough to celebrate their misfortune.

Bacardi101 · 07/10/2022 21:30

Honestly you are not alone OP if I found out my ex died all I would feel is relief he couldn’t hurt another woman (or child) in the same way he hurt me or my DD’s. If it did happen in a horrible way I certainly wouldn’t loose any sleep over it!

LemonPledge555 · 07/10/2022 21:30

I wish bad things on my worst ex. He was awful. I keep my eyes peeled for death notices/convictions.

A good friend of mine, me and another friend found out her ex had died. It was a terrible breakup and she was ripped apart by it, but he was a bad man and a liar. We didn’t ever tell her, I’m not sure how she’d take it even though she’s happy and settled now.

Shitfather · 07/10/2022 21:36

Mt ex has treated our son appallingly. My wish for my ex is that he suffers terribly. I really believe that, in time, he will. I won’t cheer, but there will certainly be a sense that justice has been achieved.

blisstwins · 07/10/2022 21:51

I do believe the best revenge is living well and my ex now has three more children, but he has nothing to do with our children and has tried his mightiest to hurt me and cause me financial distress. He made some exceptionally dumb moves and I think he will be in a lot of financial trouble himself. I don't actively wish for bad things, but I will not be sad if things stop going his way. He is a narcissistic creep who stole the better part of two decades from me.

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 07/10/2022 21:55

I did for a long, long time. I would lie awake at night praying for karma and everything he’d done to me to come back threefold. I’m now happily married with a beautiful DSD and currently TTC and I honestly don’t wish anything bad on him anymore. He wasn’t meant for me, my husband and the life we have now was waiting :)