He's not interested, is he?

[talktalk12]

I am posting a new thread for traffic

I went on a second date with a guy last Tuesday. It was fun, he said he had a nice time, and he made a passing remark when paying for the bill that I can get the next drinks. We have been in touch most days since then. He was taking a day to come back to me, as he was away for work earlier in the week, but we have averaged a message back and forth once a day. That's fine. I felt a bit sad and frustrated (see my thread below), but I kinda came to understand, as I often travel for work and have a demanding job too. He got back the other day, said his trip was brutal, and his messages have been longer, and more engaging, and he asked for some photos of me from an event I went to. But he hasn't asked me out again. It's hard to know if he's interested or not. My gut tells me no, but I wonder if he's just busy? I don't want to ask him as I asked about the second date. It's Friday - I was hoping he would have asked me out by now for the weekend.

My previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4647459-dating-new-guy

So he replied this morning to my msgs from yesterday. In response to ‘happy to tell you about…offline’ he said ‘definitely let’s do that!’ And responded to my other msgs

He didn’t ask anything, more just joking and commenting.

🤷‍♀️

@talktalk12 you're flogging the dead-est horse on the planet. Please give up. Either block him or tell him and block him but please don't give him any more mental space

So what? Move on with your life, ffs.

I am not sure why you keep saying this as if it is odd. He wanted to meet you in the first place to see if you clicked in person, that is what everyone on OLD is doing. After meeting, it doesn’t sound like there was the chemistry there for him so he has not gone out of his way to repeat. And I am not saying that in a mean way, just in an objective and realistic way that not everybody is going to fancy you (general you) no matter how good looking, witty, intelligent, kind etc you are.

It does seem like dead horse territory and to the question in your thread title, no he doesn’t seem particularly interested. Move on.

Aprilx thank you for explained how OLD works. I’m not saying as if it’s odd. I’m saying I wish I hadn’t bothered.

No need to reply.

Move on.

Don't bother replying. Unless he's lining up another date with you, what can there possibly be left to say to this man you've only met twice?

I mean OP, it’s great having self esteem and self worth and I love it when women can see their own beauty. I think we’re conditioned as a society to think it’s wrong if we think we are attractive.

However it just doesn’t ring true to myself that you can call yourself attractive, basically that you’re out of his league, having thousands of likes on dating apps and having a demanding (I assume well paid) job… and yet posting about him numerous times, being frustrated when/what he replies and saying you’re over it when you keep updating.

So OP, I really think you should move on. Tell him he’s not worth the hassle.

mysteryobtuse I’m not lying 🤷‍♀️
i look young for my age and get a lot of attention from men in real life - and compliments from women
and I work in a senior role in my industry
i can suffer from anxiety hence why I have been posting about him - I’ve been unsure
and most women get tonnes of likes on dating apps
none of this is far fetched or a lie

And yes I won’t be replying to him
I suspect he will be back in touch again, as when I don’t reply, he usually follows up.
I’ve spoken to a couple of guy friends who say he’s probably just been busy with work and he is showing interest. But the pace is too slow for me, I can be understanding, and my time is precious. I don’t have much free time.

I didn’t say you are lying about being attractive. I’m saying you’re letting this man effect your self esteem negatively.

mysteryobtuse sorry I misunderstood then.