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Original poster

Perfect but his....

129 replies

Cakeycrumbz · 26/09/2022 20:44

Found a guy I love talking to. Connected so well..talk everyday..he makes me laugh. He's easy to say anything to. Good looking in photos. Really clicked and then a mutual friend told me he smiles with his mouth closed because he's got teeth missing at the top at the front.

I managed to find a video of him on fb and can see the shape of his mouth isn't right and yep he's got teeth missing. It's completely put me off and I'm gutted as in every other way he's wonderful

Has anyone else ever had this happen? Or something else?

I don't know how to wriggle back out the situation as I was pretty much ready to meet him. Feel so terrible. What can I possibly say to him?

OP posts:
concernedalot · 26/09/2022 20:57

This is really tricky isn't it. How many teeth and are they right at the front? I would still meet him if he's been really nice, he may have plans to get them sorted out for all you know! At least give him a chance I would say. You could be missing out on the love of your life if you don't! But if you meet and don't click, then you'll know you gave it your best shot. Good luck!

LividLaVidaLoca · 26/09/2022 20:59

Sounds brutal but I wouldn’t.

It’s not exactly gold digger status to want a guy that can get himself to the dentist.

Original poster
Cakeycrumbz · 26/09/2022 21:04

He's definitely missing the top 2 or 3 front ones. I just know I'll be embarrassed by it. It sounds so shallow. But in the video he's gone from handsome to looking like he needs his dentures in. He even sounds gummy in the video. I was in an abusive relationship and he's really supported me and I've felt ready to move forward because of him. I know how hurt he will be if I just go off. I dont like this situation I really don't.

OP posts:
Ein · 26/09/2022 21:09

But… Why hasn’t he had them fixed?

If he can’t afford a dentist then that’s a problem

Original poster
Cakeycrumbz · 26/09/2022 21:13

God knows he doesn't know I know so can't ask. But it's completely ruined him and I don't want to be shallow. But teeth missing at 39 isn't good. My friend who knows him said it's such a shame as in every other way he's perfect. She thinks the same and she's met him face to face.

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 26/09/2022 21:13

It is shallow, but I can understand why. But maybe he’s due to have them fixed next month and you miss out on a fantastic relationship as you won’t meet him. Maybe he’s afraid of the dentist but with the right support he would go and get it sorted. Who knows.

Original poster
Cakeycrumbz · 26/09/2022 21:15

Yeah I will chat to him still and see what happens but right now I'm not sure. He looks very clean and tidy and akway bathing. Showed me how aftershave collection. He's clean shaving. Other people said he's good looking. It's just his teeth.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cakeycrumbz · 26/09/2022 21:16

Should say always and shaven

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 26/09/2022 21:21

How long have you been chatting without meeting? If you've been emotionally investing before even meeting him, there's a bigger problem than his teeth that you need to deal with, here.

If it's just the teeth, tell him. If you can't tell him, you're not as close as you think you are, and he's not as amazing as you've convinced yourself he is.

Original poster
Cakeycrumbz · 26/09/2022 21:24

No it's not feelings like that just a really lovely feeling. I dont use dating apps he added me through a friend and we just got talking.. swapped numbers and stuff. He's got the kindest funniest personality I just feel drawn to him and that's rare for me. I was tempted to meet him. But this has thrown me. Its just really unattractive but love how nice he is that's all.

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 26/09/2022 21:26

How did he loose the teeth? Its not unknown for people to lose teeth in accidents or doing sports. We knew/know a couple of men who lost teeth playing rugby. (Say knew/know as we haven't seen them for a while).

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 26/09/2022 21:26

When I met dh he had one just off centre front tooth missing and 2 bottom ones. Now has 2 top ones gone. Tbh never even notice now.
Been together 10 years.
Hopefully my rolls are as insignificant..

SettingsO · 26/09/2022 21:28

You're not being shallow. Front teeth missing says - homeless, troubled, poor, violent past.

If I were you I’d ask him about it - you’ve got nothing to loose.

ivykaty44 · 26/09/2022 21:29

If you don’t fancy the real him then that’s ok

hes kept this hidden, not you - up till now

BigFatLiar · 26/09/2022 21:33

Have you declared all your imperfections to him?

Watchkeys · 26/09/2022 21:37

SettingsO · 26/09/2022 21:28

You're not being shallow. Front teeth missing says - homeless, troubled, poor, violent past.

If I were you I’d ask him about it - you’ve got nothing to loose.

Front teeth missing says front teeth missing. The rest is you, pre-judging. AKA prejudice.

It could be anything. Health condition, accident, mid-treatment... But yes, ask him, OP.

lightisnotwhite · 26/09/2022 21:37

Just ask him. He’s bound to be embarrassed by the lack if he’s got any pride. It could be sport it could be drink and drugs. He might be dentist phobic ( my dentist had a PTSD soldier that hadn’t been to the dentist since being tortured) or too poor to afford dentist and a bridge.
Its fine. It’s not about shallow. It’s about what you can live with. Loads of nice guys and girls miss out because something trivial is a dealbreaker.

Dotcheck · 26/09/2022 21:40

How long have you been chatting? Why haven’t you met yet?

JessesMum777888 · 26/09/2022 21:41

SettingsO · 26/09/2022 21:28

You're not being shallow. Front teeth missing says - homeless, troubled, poor, violent past.

If I were you I’d ask him about it - you’ve got nothing to loose.

My son had a front tooth missing from diving in a swimming pool.
don’t be so judgey

ProbAmU · 26/09/2022 21:42

An ex of mine lost 2 front ones in a motorbike accident. He had false ones but they kept falling out. Could be any reason

MoCaine · 26/09/2022 21:43

SettingsO · 26/09/2022 21:28

You're not being shallow. Front teeth missing says - homeless, troubled, poor, violent past.

If I were you I’d ask him about it - you’ve got nothing to loose.

yes, she is being shallow, and plenty of homeless people have nice teeth, troubled ? like mentally ill ? Poor ? FFS really ? that sounds like you view having below a certain amount of money as a disease, violent past ? How about he played rugby, or was in an accident of some kind, maybe he has partial denture and just can't be arsed to wear them all the time ?

BigFatLiar · 26/09/2022 21:49

SettingsO · 26/09/2022 21:28

You're not being shallow. Front teeth missing says - homeless, troubled, poor, violent past.

If I were you I’d ask him about it - you’ve got nothing to loose.

My dad would have said
man with tattoos = thug,
Woman with tattoos = tattoos
Try not to judge people without getting to know them

lightisnotwhite · 26/09/2022 21:50

I do think that most blokes would explain their missing teeth if they lost them accidentally.
If he doesn’t think it may put you off it’s more his problem. He must know in this time of increasingly perfect teeth that it’s not a good look.

Caroffee · 26/09/2022 21:53

It's odd that he doesn't at least wear dentures. They're not expensive. Have you asked your friend if she knows why he's toothless?

BigFatLiar · 26/09/2022 22:02

I don't know how to wriggle back out the situation as I was pretty much ready to meet him. Feel so terrible. What can I possibly say to him?

Tell him he deserves better.