Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Perfect but his....

129 replies

Cakeycrumbz · 26/09/2022 20:44

Found a guy I love talking to. Connected so well..talk everyday..he makes me laugh. He's easy to say anything to. Good looking in photos. Really clicked and then a mutual friend told me he smiles with his mouth closed because he's got teeth missing at the top at the front.

I managed to find a video of him on fb and can see the shape of his mouth isn't right and yep he's got teeth missing. It's completely put me off and I'm gutted as in every other way he's wonderful

Has anyone else ever had this happen? Or something else?

I don't know how to wriggle back out the situation as I was pretty much ready to meet him. Feel so terrible. What can I possibly say to him?

OP posts:
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 26/09/2022 22:02

Of course you should meet. When it becomes a dealbreaker, stop seeing him. But while you're drawn to him, roll with it!

Speakingofdinosaurs · 26/09/2022 22:02

I would definitely message him - what have you got to lose?
message something like “hi friend, have you got some teeth missing? I’m a bit concerned - have you had a fall/accident?

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 26/09/2022 22:04

Also my lovely DH probably had women write him off because of his teeth. Their loss...

shipwreckedonhighseas · 26/09/2022 22:07

Front teeth missing says - homeless, troubled, poor, violent past.

That escalated quickly.

ChrisTrepidation · 26/09/2022 22:08

So what if it's shallow? Your standards are your standards. If having a full set of teeth is a must for you then that's your choice! Attraction is important. If you aren't attracted to your potential partner then what is the point?

Handsnotwands · 26/09/2022 22:09

One of my good friends (who is handsome, successful and well off) got hit by a car and his teeth knocked out. He had to wait for his broken up face / gums to heal before he could do anything about it. It was quite a long time.

QueueEtwo · 26/09/2022 22:16

Jeez have none of you woken up to how difficult it is to actually see a dentist at the moment?

If you like him I would meet him & see how it goes! If you like him & he likes you it is surely something you can address together?

Whatthebarnacles · 26/09/2022 22:29

I'm quite taken aback by some of these comments tbh. "Odd" "says homeless" and "poor".

Perhaps he's just really comfortable in his own skin?

If this was a man slating a woman's thinning hair I guarantee that he'd be getting shit on for his thoughtless and judgemental comments.

If you don't fancy him, that's absolutely okay. If something, and I hate this phrase but it's fitting, "gives you the ick" then move on and past it.

What you (PP's too) shouldn't do is jump to conclusions about his financial or past life, or indeed his "strange" behaviour in not conforming to "normal amd acceptable appearances".

Ps. I'm a working mum in my 30s with a good job with a missing tooth in my smile line. I really couldn't give a hoot what people think of that. I dont give it a second thought from one day to the next. If it knocks someone sick then 👋 bye, better of without them and have far far more important things to worry about.

Also, if you're on Instagram, take a look at lashesandlosing i think shes brilliant!

toddlingtortoise · 26/09/2022 22:32

Shallow as if May be I wouldn’t go out with him. Nice teeth are important to me and bad, wonky or missing teeth are a real turn off to me just as other people find different things important in a man. I like my men more stocky and not slim. Other women like men who have gym toned bodies. We all have what we like

MoaningMaude · 26/09/2022 22:33

Caroffee · 26/09/2022 21:53

It's odd that he doesn't at least wear dentures. They're not expensive. Have you asked your friend if she knows why he's toothless?

I beg to differ and say they are blooming expensive, and it's not just the denture but having the moulds taken, I have a very basic partial acrylic denture which needs replacing and it's costing me £200 for impressions and apx £800 for the partial!

VeronicaFranklin · 26/09/2022 22:43

Cakeycrumbz · 26/09/2022 20:44

Found a guy I love talking to. Connected so well..talk everyday..he makes me laugh. He's easy to say anything to. Good looking in photos. Really clicked and then a mutual friend told me he smiles with his mouth closed because he's got teeth missing at the top at the front.

I managed to find a video of him on fb and can see the shape of his mouth isn't right and yep he's got teeth missing. It's completely put me off and I'm gutted as in every other way he's wonderful

Has anyone else ever had this happen? Or something else?

I don't know how to wriggle back out the situation as I was pretty much ready to meet him. Feel so terrible. What can I possibly say to him?

If you click and really get on then honestly why let it put you off, he can get his teeth fixed...

imagine meeting someone with perfect teeth who is an absolute bore...!

t1lly · 26/09/2022 22:49

My brother has lost a number of teeth - he has a bridge (i think that's what it's called) so you can't tell when you meet him. Our mother was agoraphobic and extremely phobic of dentists, plus also generally pretty neglectful of us because of her own poor mental health - she never took us to the dentist as children. There could be all sorts of reasons why your guy lost his teeth. I wouldn't want my brother to go out with someone that judged him for it.

MoCaine · 26/09/2022 22:50

the absolute f'in state as some of these replies, ''standards'' yeah, missing teeth but drives a Bentley, those standards would probably disappear

''dentures aren't that expensive''

www.dentures.org.uk/dentures-cost/

Herejustforthisone · 26/09/2022 22:51

Bad teeth is a dealbreaker for me. I don’t feel ashamed of that.

wellhelloitsme · 26/09/2022 22:52

MoCaine · 26/09/2022 22:50

the absolute f'in state as some of these replies, ''standards'' yeah, missing teeth but drives a Bentley, those standards would probably disappear

''dentures aren't that expensive''

www.dentures.org.uk/dentures-cost/

So basically you think all women are just attracted to money?

The "absolute f'in state" of that opinion.

MoCaine · 26/09/2022 23:03

wellhelloitsme · 26/09/2022 22:52

So basically you think all women are just attracted to money?

The "absolute f'in state" of that opinion.

Show quote history

not all, but some of the comments on here suggest some poster are.

Frith2013 · 26/09/2022 23:09

I would have said you've been thinking of dating my son, except he has a girlfriend and is abroad!

He has one tooth missing at the front, half of another one gone and one pushed back at an angle. He is not homeless, a drug addict etc but did have a serious road accident.

It's not through lack of effort. The false tooth (bridge) falls out every few months. The false bit of the other tooth occasionally snaps off. Sometimes he rushes to the dentist to have it all patched up again, sometimes he can't be bothered.

been and done it. · 26/09/2022 23:13

You could just ask him what's happened to his teeth? Ask if he plays rugby or has had an accident? See what he says..

Marineboy67 · 26/09/2022 23:20

Perhaps in time he could get a bridge or have an implant. To the side of my two front teeth I've got a gold tooth. I had the original tooth snapped defending a friend in a pub brawl. You never know people's stories...

Smineusername · 26/09/2022 23:26

You should read the inuit story 'The Skeleton Woman'. And you should meet him.

OnaBegonia · 26/09/2022 23:44

You're not being shallow. Front teeth missing says - homeless, troubled, poor, violent past.
you're being a nasty judgemental ignoramus.

Yabado · 27/09/2022 00:00

your being shallow but lots of people are including myself . i wouldn’t date a short guy

But I would hope that any bloke you meet in the future isn’t as shallow and doesn’t complain to a friend that your lovely he really likes you but ….
you have small titts , your a bit overweight , you have bad skin , or a flabby stretch marked stomach or even a child or two and it’s a dealbreaker for him .

Dentistry is expensive - very expensive and can take a long time to get sorted my back tooth broke in July and it won’t be fixed till around January next year.
I’m lucky enough never to have had a filling in my life always had perfect straight white teeth 😂
but this year one of my back upper teeth chipped and snapped .

So far since July I’ve spent around £500 on getting it removed, X-rays

annual check up, deep polish & clean
and a dental scan for implant or bridge

In two weeks Im having some removal of some bone where the tooth was in order to have a bridge next year .
Thats £400 just for this and if it doesn’t work further work could be around 1k

Then to have an actual bridge done later another 1k

So I will have spent close to round 2k possibly 3k and that’s for someone who’s always had perfect teeth and this missing tooth can’t even be seen by anyone so it’s definitely vanity for me to have it fixed .
And I can afford this this treatment easily , no debt or finance.
Most people can’t get a NHS dentist to get cheaper treatment so have to pay for very expensive treatment.

An implant for my tooth would have been around 3k -4k

So maybe he can’t afford to get them fixed right now
He is obviously aware as he tries to hide the fact

whynotwhatknot · 27/09/2022 00:23

homeless and poor? wtf-my dh has partial dentures doesnt bother me i thinik its a bit shallow if you actually lie this person how woud you like it if he said your nose was too big or youre too fat

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 27/09/2022 00:29

Personally I think you are being shallow but then on the other hand you are being honest.
But if teeth are non-negotiable then let him go to find someone else who will love him flaws and all.

EspressoPatronumm · 27/09/2022 00:46

Tell him he deserves better than a woman who is as shallow as you are.

Let him go and find a lovely woman (not you) and you can continue your quest for Adonis (probably a live island clone)

You are about as shallow as a teaspoon.

I lost 2 teeth last year due to chemotherapy and I have to wait until my immune system is better to have the root canal and then eventual denture sorted. Glad my husband isn't as shallow as you are.