Feel humiliated over a fiver

[Problemafterproblem]

Is asking a close relative for a loan of a fiver till the next day or two a big deal? I lost my bank card and was waiting for a replacement. It was purely a cash flow problem, not a cash-less one. I've never asked before and was told off quite severely! I see this relative two or three times a week.

Absolutely not!

If the relative couldn't help for a financial reason, then they could at least be kind.

If you’ve lost your card that’s totally reasonable!!

Yanbu, they could have easily loaned you a fiver unless you’re always needing a bit of help at the end of the month and they’re fed up of bailing you out

Seems a very strange reaction to been asked for a loan of a fiver. I wonder is your relative having financial issues themselves?

How horrible for you. Might be time to reassess your relationship? Are they bossy and unkind in other areas towards you?

They don't have financial problems at all. (I know their financial position and it is healthy enough) but they are careful with money in some ways. They have no reason to think that I was taking advantage but that's how they obviously felt. I have actually been quite upset by the whole thing. So thanks for your responses. It makes me feel a bit less embarrassed.

Bizarre reaction over a fiver.

I could understand if it was someone who repeatedly borrowed money and never paid it back but even then, I'd just politely refuse. It's the sort of money most people wouldn't give a second thought to regardless of whether they ever saw it agin.

Perhaps they have their own money struggles and felt embarassed.

Either way, I'd probably be re-evaluating that relationship.

Thats lousy op. If my friends are short or emergency would help yes

Horrible! Your bank should be able to ensure you can take money out still so speak to them About money

Cut down your visits. They obviously don't feel the same way about you as you do them.

A FIVER???

Seriously? Your relative is a dick. Most people would give you a fiver and seeing as it's such a small amount, probably not worry too much about getting it back!

It's as if you've asked for 10 grand.

Ludicrous.

That's not a nice reaction, no.

If you do online banking you can transfer cash to someone else's account and they can withdraw it for you. That's what my son did for me last week when I lost my card.

The relationship has definitely changed. Which seems crazy over a fiver. It was a week ago and I'm struggling to get over it. I am old school with my bank, I wouldn't even know where to start in getting cash without a card. That is on my to-do list to sort out now. I had a bit of cash already and was only buying what I absolutely needed but I was a bit short for packed lunches. I managed without it though but the kids lunches weren't the best! Thank you everyone.

All that for a fiver - I hope that they are never stuck in the same way. What a horrible way to behave. TBH if you have people / family in common I would make a point of telling them "can you believe what "Mary" said to me when I asker her for a fiver". Embarrass her right back. I know that is not nice - but it is playing her at her own game.

Let me guess is this an elderly relative? A parent perhaps hence the frequent visits?

Their reaction is ridiculous, I would lend a fiver to a work colleague in the circumstances you outlined. Never mind a close relative.

Are you going round to help them? Scale down the visits. Elderly people can become quite selfish and I understand its normally stems from fear of the future and insecurity, which is understandable. But there are limits and you don't deserve to be insulted.

Some familied have a rule of, 'neither a lender nor a borrower be'.

Your bank/BS will allow you to withdraw cash in person until your card arrives if you take in proof of identity i.e. a passport. Doesn't work on a Sunday I guess.

I would have accepted them saying no but to be told off for asking! "I'm sorry auntie, I didn't realise you were such an ungracious skin flint or I never would have asked."

'some families have a rule of neither a lender or a borrower be'.

That's quite a strange family. Are families not supposed to help? Otherwise what's the point?

One good reason to have Apple Pay or Google pay on your phone!! I know someone who went on holiday and completely forgot to take their card wallet . They got by using their phone app for 3 days and had the card wallet couriered out to them

You could've sent them the £5 straight away with an app/online banking, negating the need to "borrow" it. It's also very easy with most banks now to get cash without a card.

Well it was a Sunday actually, but I have done that before, went into a branch with ID. I thought a fiver would tide me over and I wasn't expecting the reaction. Although I suppose I have never asked for a reason.

And yes it's a parent (60s). I didn't want to put the relationship in case they read it, but they would probably identify me anyway. The thing I am struggling the most with is they knew it was for food for the DC. Anyway. I am pretty independent so need to get on top of this bank stuff!

Thank you everyone!

It's not you who should be embarrassed. They're the idiot who let a fiver piss them off. You were perfectly calm and collected, and trying to deal with a problem you had in a rational way.

I’m in my 60s and wouldn’t dream of denying a fiver to anyone in need let alone my daughter. Your parent should give themselves a good talking to.

Very nasty of them. I once lost my card and found my self cashless and borrowed a tenner off a school mum I hardly knew - she was lovely about it.

It was your parents??? Oh that's pretty shitty of them