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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ridiculous rant

139 replies

SusieKew · 23/09/2022 23:08

My boyfriend hates it when I yawn mid convo, he expressed this to me months ago. I didn’t think it was that rude because he knows me and knows my intentions are pure but it happened tonight and he’s had a go at me but tbh I just feel like he’s given me the biggest Ick. It’s just yawning, I’m really not seeing the big deal. I’ve been away on business for the past few days. I got back this evening and the first thing I did was join our therapy session. I am tired and he knows this. While we were chatting once the session had ended we were both yawning (something I don’t care about when does it), but the last time I yawned in the convo he lost it and made all of these sarcastic comments which made me withdrawn from the rest of the convo. I find his whining about my yawning so unattractive. Am I being unreasonable? It annoys me that he doesn’t it as me choosing to talk to him over my tiredness!

OP posts:
Therealjudgejudy · 25/09/2022 13:53

Good grief. Therapy after a year....filling his love tank...

Are you both 13? This relationship is a joke...if thus post is real. I doubt it though. No one is this pathetic

Beelezebub · 25/09/2022 13:57

Jesus. Run a mile and then another one. He is NOT worth completely eroding yourself.

MaChienEstUnDick · 25/09/2022 14:11

It's better, I think, for two people who love each other to part and move on regretfully and respectfully, rather than one of them contorting herself to fit the other's ideal.

Out of interest, how full is your love tank?

Pixiedust1234 · 25/09/2022 14:18

If you are both doing the work that a therapist sent you but your relationship is still off then there are only two reasons for it

You have a bad therapist who could be causing active harm to you or
You are not compatible and never will be

I say its the latter for sure with a smattering of the former so you can't see it. You seem to enjoy analysing everything rather than seeing and feeling. Your gut (seeing and feeling) is saying run but your analysing side is saying but whhhyyyyyy?? like a whiny child. Listen to the real inside you and leave the the man and the therapist...or are you emotionally bonded to the therapist as well?

Rollergirl11 · 25/09/2022 15:19

Cherchezlaspice · 25/09/2022 13:37

If you’re not going to engage with or take on board what the majority of people are saying to you, then why are you posting?

This!!

OP started off saying how she found DP’s whining unattractive and how she was getting the ick but has spent every post since in denial despite EVERYONE saying she needs to get rid.

Why exactly are you posting OP?

totallyoutnumbered · 25/09/2022 15:40

I'll re ask my question OP.

He's a naval gazing man child and a bully at that. Sounds boring and dangerous to me. You're getting the same advice consistently here. I haven't seen a post defending him. What do you think now you've seen such unanimous views saying run for the hills?

Carlycat · 26/09/2022 08:41

He's bonkers 🤣

Carlycat · 26/09/2022 08:44

' Love tank ' 🤣
This must be a wind up?!

LaPerduta · 26/09/2022 08:56

Sounds a bit like a relationship I was in. There would be an issue (invariably "my fault" - usually something innocuous he took offence over) and he wouldn't allow us to meet again until it was all resolved by phone. Then some other spurious reason why we couldn't meet.

Weird and controlling. Get out while you can.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 26/09/2022 09:07

If this isn't a wind up, what on earth are you doing with this dreadful man? How did you not laugh in his face when he said you didn't fill his love tank? He sounds like a right boring tosser, please don't waste any more time on him.

Washyourownfeet · 26/09/2022 09:26

Why are you with this miserable whining baby?
if he’s trying to control a perfectly natural response to tiredness he’ll be worse if you marry him, I couldn’t be doing with the ridiculous twat, if he’s stamping his feet now what will he do when you accidentally fart?

TrashPandas · 26/09/2022 09:36

Relationships this young are meant to be FUN. Run away, fast!

FartSock5000 · 26/09/2022 11:15

@SusieKew No. Just no.

The first year of a new relationship is about chemistry and getting to know each other. It should be fun and exciting and drama free because you have cock-goggles on and everything is hormonally induced to be wonderful.

This much conflict coming from him and him alone is a big massive red flag. You are the only one jumping through hoops and all to please him or tick off mental boxes only he knows about in his head.

You say you love him but you don't really know him. You can't because he refuses to spend enough time with you!

He is already forcing you to comply with therapy and nitpicking on the yawning so you are eager to please and do what he says. WTF?! No! This isn't how it's supposed to be.

This would all be semi normal if a bit eyebrow raising after a few years together but after 1 year it is a sign that he is controlling and doesn't know how to function within a healthy adult relationship.

Throw him back and move on. Don't waste your 30s on a man who should be bending over backwards to please YOU and make YOU happy just as you are doing for this bawsack.

Thepossibility · 27/09/2022 04:44

I think you are entertaining this behaviour because you want to settle down, and he seems not too bad. Could be worse.
But imagine having children with this man. The poor things will be born with a job- needing to make dad happy! They must twist themselves in knots to keep him happy and his love tank full. And they won't even have their mother's full attention because she will be occupied with turning herself inside out trying to keep him happy. Pressuring the kids to be what makes dad happy, not just themselves. This is no foundation for a happy future OP.

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