I cancelled our holiday last minute because of this “joke” - did I overreact?

[Liqouriceglaze]

I’ve been dating this guy for 5ish months. We met through work.

We see each other regularly and I’ve met his friends. He suggested we go on holiday a few weeks back and we’re meant to be going this Friday.

In the past he’s made “jokes” about other women being interested in him that we work with - just stupid stuff as well like his brother is coming to visit him to see what tinder is like where we live I told him he it was immature and stupid and he stopped doing it.

then the other night he was at my house. After we’d had sex I said something along the lines of how long it has been since I last had sex (as we’ve not seen each other for a week). He replied

him: “I had sex yesterday”
me: “oh right. Who with?”
him: “myself”

I literally couldn’t believe it, like what the fuck. I asked him to leave and he just said he was joking and he hasn’t been with anyone else. I still asked him to leave and text him saying I don’t want to go on holiday anymore. He keeps texting me saying it was a joke, he was telling me he’d had a wank and that’s it.

one friend told me if he was actually sleeping with someone else he wouldn’t risk making jokes about it & it sounds as if he’s trying to get a raise out of me.

im not too sure what to do really - I do like him, but I am insecure and the “jokes” don’t help. I feel awful that he’s lost all the holiday money, but I just feel like how can I go if I have even a slight suspicion he’s cheated??

You need to grow up.

It's a pretty tame and lame joke. This is about your insecurity.

If you don’t like this behaviour and it’s an integral part of who he is it’s time to end things and find someone your more comparable with.

Id find his jokes a complete turn off too.

He had a wank & made a joke about it.

It very much sounds like a joke that he had a wank. If you’re offended by his sense of humour perhaps you guys aren’t that compatible. If I was him I would be very annoyed that my holiday was cancelled because you had misunderstood

Neither of you sound old enough to be going abroad without your parents. Grow up, the pair of you.

He annoys you. Not worth continuing a relationship that doesn't make you happy.

You overreacted big time! Poor guy!

That feels like a huge over-reaction on your part. He told you he'd had a wank, that's basically it. How much money was the holiday?

End it. Poor guy. Save him the hassle of your insecurities. He had a wank. That's all.

He was joking that he had a wank, which is puerile but not an indication he has cheated on you

It was a lame joke. I certainly wouldn't want to date him from what you've described but there's nothing at all to point towards him cheating. And if I were dating you I would put you in the 'too high maintenance' category and move on. Basically you're not compatible but you didn't need to lose it just before a holiday.

You have different a sense of humour. Some would find him hilarious, others would think he's a twat. I'm in the latter group. I think you need to have a similar sense of humour (and morals etc) to make a relationship work long term.

Lame joke, but total overreaction

I was expecting him to have said something absolutely shocking based upon your reaction.

He joked about having had a wank. That's all.

You sound absolutely bonkers.

You're annoyed at him because his brother is on tinder and he made a lame masturbation joke. How old are you?

It was a wank joke.
In both ways.

Sounds like you don't really get on OP.

He sounds very immature and men that boast about what women fancy them are negging you, I'd bin him.

Wow he's better off out of this. And it's not very often I say that about a man

Everything, from the people to the conversations, in this scenario is childish, a bit sordid and well, gross.

Let’s be honest - this holiday will have been cheap as chips, soaked in booze and drama and ended up in an screaming match outside the park caravan at 3am

Definitely overreacting

I just hope no party in this equation has any children

HE needs to grow up. Leading you to believe, even for a moment, that he'd been with someone else was shitty and I'm not surprised you didn't see the funny side if it's constant.

YABVU

Honestly I think you are both a bit immature. If you like him you could still go on the holiday and enjoy it, he probably won't make a joke like that again. It might be the beginning of the end though, it all sounds a bit joyless.