I cancelled our holiday last minute because of this “joke” - did I overreact?

[Liqouriceglaze]

I’ve been dating this guy for 5ish months. We met through work.

We see each other regularly and I’ve met his friends. He suggested we go on holiday a few weeks back and we’re meant to be going this Friday.

In the past he’s made “jokes” about other women being interested in him that we work with - just stupid stuff as well like his brother is coming to visit him to see what tinder is like where we live I told him he it was immature and stupid and he stopped doing it.

then the other night he was at my house. After we’d had sex I said something along the lines of how long it has been since I last had sex (as we’ve not seen each other for a week). He replied

him: “I had sex yesterday”
me: “oh right. Who with?”
him: “myself”

I literally couldn’t believe it, like what the fuck. I asked him to leave and he just said he was joking and he hasn’t been with anyone else. I still asked him to leave and text him saying I don’t want to go on holiday anymore. He keeps texting me saying it was a joke, he was telling me he’d had a wank and that’s it.

one friend told me if he was actually sleeping with someone else he wouldn’t risk making jokes about it & it sounds as if he’s trying to get a raise out of me.

im not too sure what to do really - I do like him, but I am insecure and the “jokes” don’t help. I feel awful that he’s lost all the holiday money, but I just feel like how can I go if I have even a slight suspicion he’s cheated??

You should have put this context in your original message. He sounds like a bit of a head fuck I would forget about him

You reaction to the so called joke was a bit ott but he sounds like an immature, rather pathetic person who you deserve more than. I would get rid.

If you want to end it because you don't like his sense of humour (and to be fair from the small amount you've written I'm not keen on it either) then go ahead - but if you're ending it because you think he's cheated then I suspect you're dead wrong, it was a rubbish cringey joke that didn't land well, but I 100% doubt he was trying to tell you he'd cheated on you.

That's a fairly big drip feed!

From your first post, you're massively overreacting to a wank joke.

From your follow up I think he sounds like an arse. In real life, what man actually has a posh wank

one friend told me if he was actually sleeping with someone else he wouldn’t risk making jokes about it & it sounds as if he’s trying to get a raise out of me.

In answer to this, I think he succeeded!

If you don't find his "jokes" funny and he is unable to stop making them (and grow up) then you do not sound well suited. In your second post it looks as though he may be cheating or trying to. Either way it sounds as though you are doing the right thing for you, but feel bad for costing you both. Time to stop feeling bad about it and move on from him.

I must be in a minority because I think he's an unfunny knob and you shouldn't have arranged a holiday in the first place.

I agree.

"Jokes" about cheating, other women fancying him, tinder-no thanks!

the joke was harmelss but the other stuff is concerning wont let you follow him on sm and ignores you for days

I was thinking this you both sound very immature

Sounds like he is sleeping with other women so his STD test is worth jack shit.

Just bin him.

D
R
I
P

'He doesn't drink for religious reasons'

Shags n wanks tho.... 😬

Hardly. It was obvious from the OP that he was an unfunny twat.

Are you both 14?

Just sounds like you are unsuited if you make a big deal about this.

Grow up and get a life
When I saw what he said I giggled
Not the best joke in the world maybe but mildly funny
If I was him I would not want to be with someone who is so easily offended it would be like walking on eggshells

Do you have a tendency to over react?

This

You just aren’t compatible.. different sense of humours .. the stuff mentioned in your later message might mean getting yourself checked might be a good idea

That specific joke - it’s a shit joke but you massively overreacted.

in the context of everything else, though, the social media, the “posh wank” (that’s clearly bullshit) he’s clearly an immature prick who doesn’t respect you or women. Just dump him and move on.

What a lot of rude messages about not being pld enough and growing up.

Your op as a standalone comes acrossas a huge overreaction. As a final straw off the back of all the other events it makes a lot more sense, hence why people are irritated you didnt mention. I think you did the right thing to end the relationship but I would also say that next time it's OK to end it earlier when you dislike all those other things he said.

I think your not ready to be in a relationship or a healthy one at least, you need to work on yourself and become happy and confident In yourself before anything

Jesus Christ, did this really need a thread? You need to lighten up

It’s like walking on eggshells waiting for him to make the next “funny joke”

Some examples:

”Tara has asked if we wanna have a threesome?” (Our manager and definitely didn’t ask this)

”Can’t have you stalking my social media when I’m talking to all my babes”

“I literally just got about 4 girls numbers when i went up to the bar then”

“It’s painful when I go for a wee… wonder if I’ve got an Sti?” (But we both had tests done before we stopped using protection, so who’s that from?)

ive seen texts on his phone with ❤️‍🔥 emojis next to girls names.

Empty condom wrappers on his bedside table.

this to me was just the final thing I couldn’t cope with. There are other signs he’s thinking about/wanting to/has cheated.