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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

437 replies

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:14

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

OP posts:
Snowdust · 22/09/2022 14:23

silveranderson · 22/09/2022 10:38

When I read threads like this (and also those on Saafe), I realise just how lucky I have been during my time as an escort. All my clients have impeccable hygiene, none ever pushed my boundaries, tried to coerce or force me to do anything I did not want to. In fact, all went to great lengths to ensure I was comfortable with everything.

I do not use Adultwork though which I think sifts out a lot of undesirable men. I don’t take same day appointments or offer incalls which again cuts out the majority of those who are seeking sex - so much of it is about immediacy and instant gratification. Using my own website, I can do my own thing in terms of the kind of appointments I offer as well as screen my own way. Insisting on seeing ID, work verification and on occasion, references from other escorts (or companions are they now prefer to be called) means the men are more likely to behave better as they are exposing who they are at the outset and know they must be on their best behaviour to not only get their foot on the door but to continue to see me. I have never been reviewed either because the men I see understand confidentiality is a two way thing.

But, yes, I realise I am in the minority and most who go into prostitution will recognise the truth of what the OP is saying in all its depressing reality. I know for me, this is why I did not take the Adultwork route and escort around another regular job as this enables me to choose rather than necessitates me to see someone purely for money.

Thanks Silver for your input. It is true Adultwork does seem to bring out more of the unsavory men. I work mostly in the South West part of the country and sometimes london. I do vet my clients as well as i can but sometimes you do not know how they will be until they are having the service.

OP posts:
Snowdust · 22/09/2022 14:37

Anyfeckinusername · 22/09/2022 10:41

OP thank you so much for being so honest and candid.

I feel for you. Society likes to think "selling sex acts" is all above board and tries to make it a regular transactional deal when as you have said, it is anything but.

I am an ex partner of one of "the men" that you have typically seen. He had a thriving account on adultwork. He would take Viagra to make sure he got "value". He typically spent about 150 per booking, every week.

I was pregnant with child #2 when discovered. I followed a trail of online activity and came upon U.K. punting - the grossest site I have ever encountered. I am not saying this lightly - seeing how these men think when free to say what they want did a total number on my head. Bile and vile.

An active worker from AW works from her house in a village nearby. She was reviewed in great detail on UKP and my ex used her. It is crazy how it's all around.

When I uncovered it all and threw a million questions at Ex, why why why how could you etc - he basically said the girls are just the sort of girls 'for that' - not like me, or our daughter 🙄, they are not real sex workers, an incredible sense of 'I will never get caught', a cycle he couldn't break of going online, searching, booking, excitement waiting, the meeting.

I just want you to know as there is a lot of judgement on this thread to you, that the judgement needs to sit 100% on the men. I have never felt animosity towards any of the women I knew my ex had used. I just couldn't get past the fact he can't see the industry for what it is.

I read Rachel Moran's "Paid For" book on being prostituted. It compounded everything I felt.

I hope you need to be in this industry is gone, and thank you again for sharing.

I am sorry you was married to one of those UKpunting men. It must have been such a shock to you finding out especially pregnant. You are so much better off without him, how he responded when you confronted him is disgusting. He made it quite clear he has no respect for the women he books or you and everybody is somebody's sister or daughter.

I don't want the thread to turn into a man bashing thread because the problem is not every man is a horrible cheating narcissist, it's a certain type of breed of men that are responsible and most of those types are members on UKpunting. The attitude they give out and the selfishness they show has no limits.

OP posts:
Snowdust · 22/09/2022 14:47

NC1325 · 22/09/2022 11:53

Name changed agree with what you say but other girls offering BB are probably doing so because they are desperate. I left the industry about after doing a year omg my mental health was wrecked I was waiting for a diagnosis of a health problem and I couldn't work regular hours . I had to claim benefits and couldn't afford my transport anymore. I'd encourage anyone to have a plan to exit the industry as quickly as possible. I'm completing a master's I scored a first in my undergraduate degree. My career is doing really well and if I get a promotion to my salary will be 60k. It's hard work but I feel amazing, my view of men has completely changed.

If you meet a man who admits to having paid for sex he will do it again punters never change or stop long term. I have so much self worth and I feel amazing now I have left. There's hope.

That is so good to hear you got out and are happy. I too am striving to leave as soon as i have other things in place and until then i am vetting men more carefully and any sign of rudeness or arrogance i will not see them. It helps a bit but not a guarantee.

OP posts:
womaninatightspot · 22/09/2022 14:53

I do think sex work is incredibly dehumanising. I remember reading a quote from a Scandi country when sex work was banned on how can woman achieve equality with men when they can buy a blowjob on the way home? I think it's true certain men treat women as something to be used and abused. I hope you find a safer way of making your living OP.

Anyfeckinusername · 22/09/2022 14:54

@Snowdust don't worry about man bashing. What needs bashing is the misconception that this work is all above board, fair etc.

I'm with a lovely man now who can't fathom how anyone would do this. Plenty of good ones out there Smile

Anyfeckinusername · 22/09/2022 14:57

He made it quite clear he has no respect for the women he books or you and everybody is somebody's sister or daughter

Exactly, I put it to him like that, fell on deaf ears. It's easier to let himself off the hook by believing a load of nonsense.

picklemewalnuts · 22/09/2022 14:57

I haven't read everything yet. Men who use prostitutes and porn are predators. It needs spelling out, as you have OP.

AngelicaElizaAndPeggy · 22/09/2022 15:02

Thank you for sharing this.

I feel there has been a push to normalise sex work and make it seem like an empowered choice. It seems as horrifying and dangerous as it has ever been. I hope life improves for you soon and that you no longer need to do this to make ends meet.

Snowdust · 22/09/2022 15:04

I did not expect to get this many people reply but i am so glad i posted it because i really did it to help any vulnerable women out there and i know mumsnet has a big following.

There has been many kind comments towards me and understanding of something that is very difficult and unless someone is in those shoes it's easy to judge. A few judgy comments is fine i expected that and they can have there opinion on it but the good people on here shine through with there support.

I just wish some men could understand the damage they do with the laughing, mocking and abusing women on UKPuntung. That forum should be held accountable for what they encourage.

OP posts:
Snowdust · 22/09/2022 15:15

Anyfeckinusername · 22/09/2022 14:54

@Snowdust don't worry about man bashing. What needs bashing is the misconception that this work is all above board, fair etc.

I'm with a lovely man now who can't fathom how anyone would do this. Plenty of good ones out there Smile

I am pleased you found a good one in the end. There is some good men out there but they can be hard to find. You saw his true colours in the end and wasted no more of your time on him.

OP posts:
NC1325 · 22/09/2022 18:19

tara66 · 22/09/2022 06:17

Surely this must be the very lowest end of the market - what men really go about like this - smelly and dirty etc?

Nope not the lowest end. I was quite high charging as I was attractive and in my early 20s independent. A man turned up who even stunk after a shower he did bring me chocolates and flowers. I washed him myself and still he stunk ,I refunded him the money and said sorry I couldnt. He must have been wearing dirty clothes and not bathed in ages. Most clients were lovely but I started washing myself obsessively as I didn't like the thought of them being on my skin. I started getting dry sore skin. I was very choosey about who I would let have an appointment. I was very lucky I only had 1 really bad experience the rest were fine but I advertised very vanilla. I had some very attractive men visit me to be honest. It's a myth that all punters are ugly some men want variety, I also didn't offer anything crazy..

It affected my self esteem and mental health. It's a poisonous industry. Ukpunting actually said I was up myself as I would refuse appointments with most bookers. I'm glad I was up myself as it protected me from harm.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 22/09/2022 19:24

Pissing myself laughing at the concept of a good class of client full stop. They are all dregs of humanity.

strawberriesonthemoon · 23/09/2022 00:55

I am writing my PhD thesis on sex work in England and Wales, with a part about UKpunting too, so I wanted to say thank you ever so much for creating this thread @Snowdust.

Whilst my thesis advocates for the decriminalisation of sex work in E&W, I have great sympathy for what you have experienced and think that we need much better welfare support for people in this country to help them leave sex work if they wish to. That is not to say that all sex workers should be encouraged to leave, IMO. I personally believe that we need to support women who are content in their sex work. We need legal reform.

I found your post to be both inspiring and heartbreaking in equal measure. Truly, I am in awe of the strength you have shown.

I sincerely hope that you find peace, safety, and comfort, and that you can leave the industry if you so choose.

Thank you for sharing your story

Sparklybutold · 23/09/2022 01:20

@Snowdust thank-you for sharing your story. I would however like to point out that in my experience just because someone is a swinger doesn't then mean they can sidestep into sex work. IME. People who swing are extremely conscientious, polite and practise safe sex as the norm.

LemonDrop22 · 23/09/2022 02:56

Thank you for this op.

I hope you can get out of it.

54isanopendoor · 23/09/2022 08:53

DundasStreet · 22/09/2022 12:42

This is interesting, 54isanopendoor. 30 years ago I worked in one of the Edinburgh saunas (they used to advertise for staff in the Evening News classified, simple as that) - I expect my temp user name will tell you which one. I have to say my experience was very different. I could say no to anyone, was safe and protected by the owner and his 'wife' who worked there too, condoms were absolutely insisted on and I got to keep all my money (it was more that £25). The clients were charged a door fee instead. I had thought based on my experience that the Edinburgh model might be one which worked reasonably well, but I was also aware even then that our particular set-up was not the norm and that other saunas, while busier, were definitely dodgier with less safe working and tended to 'employ' women who were more likely to have drug dependency issues. Blair Street springs to mind. It's interesting to hear from you that it wasn't all like my own experience.

@DundasStreet
I am glad you had a 'better' experience, I really am.
The girls & women) I worked with were from mostly from Hart St which was owned by the same people as Blair St so had the same practices. Yes, tbf, the punters paid money at the door & then direct to the girls so the girls weren't handing over money. But I remember one girl telling me she'd refused a punter who was smothered in STD sores. She'd had to 'repay' his door fee. She then had to give the owners mate a freebie when he 'turned up' half an hour later. And at the end of the shift she was told not to come back. the owner didn't want girls thinking they could pick & choose. Others were hit, in the sauna, by punters. Nothing was done. Blair St was where you didnt' want to get sent if you were at Hart St as it 'had a S&M room (where the harder punters went, apparantly).

The two women I remember best were the wife of a copper - hard for her as they came in regularly 'to check things' (have a free fuck) she claimed he didn't know but he must have done - of course the owner thought it funny. Also an older woman who often showed up beaten up by her partner - she then got grief if she'd not hidden the bruises well enough. I also remember how much busier it got during the Church of Scotland annual meeting. I didn't volunteer more than a few months but I will never forget it. It was clearly warmer & drier than working down at Leith docks but I don't know how much 'better' it was for some. I am glad that your experience was better but I hope you were able to get out okay x

BloodAndFire · 23/09/2022 09:25

strawberriesonthemoon · 23/09/2022 00:55

I am writing my PhD thesis on sex work in England and Wales, with a part about UKpunting too, so I wanted to say thank you ever so much for creating this thread @Snowdust.

Whilst my thesis advocates for the decriminalisation of sex work in E&W, I have great sympathy for what you have experienced and think that we need much better welfare support for people in this country to help them leave sex work if they wish to. That is not to say that all sex workers should be encouraged to leave, IMO. I personally believe that we need to support women who are content in their sex work. We need legal reform.

I found your post to be both inspiring and heartbreaking in equal measure. Truly, I am in awe of the strength you have shown.

I sincerely hope that you find peace, safety, and comfort, and that you can leave the industry if you so choose.

Thank you for sharing your story

Are you receiving funding for this thesis?

Grim.

ChaToilLeam · 23/09/2022 09:36

Thank you OP. I live in Germany where prostitution and brothels are legal, and abuse and trafficking still go on. Men who use prostituted women are lower than pond life.

The whole industry is built on the suffering of women and needs shutting down. We should all shun men who use prostitutes. There is nothing empowering about having your body used in this way. I hope you are out of this soon, OP.

Freedomfighters · 23/09/2022 09:37

Look after yourself op ♥️

womaninatightspot · 23/09/2022 10:03

54isanopendoor · 23/09/2022 08:53

@DundasStreet
I am glad you had a 'better' experience, I really am.
The girls & women) I worked with were from mostly from Hart St which was owned by the same people as Blair St so had the same practices. Yes, tbf, the punters paid money at the door & then direct to the girls so the girls weren't handing over money. But I remember one girl telling me she'd refused a punter who was smothered in STD sores. She'd had to 'repay' his door fee. She then had to give the owners mate a freebie when he 'turned up' half an hour later. And at the end of the shift she was told not to come back. the owner didn't want girls thinking they could pick & choose. Others were hit, in the sauna, by punters. Nothing was done. Blair St was where you didnt' want to get sent if you were at Hart St as it 'had a S&M room (where the harder punters went, apparantly).

The two women I remember best were the wife of a copper - hard for her as they came in regularly 'to check things' (have a free fuck) she claimed he didn't know but he must have done - of course the owner thought it funny. Also an older woman who often showed up beaten up by her partner - she then got grief if she'd not hidden the bruises well enough. I also remember how much busier it got during the Church of Scotland annual meeting. I didn't volunteer more than a few months but I will never forget it. It was clearly warmer & drier than working down at Leith docks but I don't know how much 'better' it was for some. I am glad that your experience was better but I hope you were able to get out okay x

I remember those ads in the back of the evening news they were there constantly. I also remember reading a story in there as well about how they had schoolgirls working in one of them dressed in school uniform, complete with school tie (16 but fucking hell) . It was penthouse/ ambassadors on Lothian road.

I knew a bloke who was really open about the fact he went there. He seemed like a nice guy, not smelly, ex military, funny, good to talk to, didn't come across as sexist or misogynistic. Was completely matter of fact it was a transaction to him and I just couldn't see past that.

He's married now.

IncompleteSenten · 23/09/2022 10:34

This is the reality that those who like to push the 'happy, empowered hooker' narrative do not like to read.

I'm so sorry that you have had these awful experiences.

It is frightening to know just how many truly revolting and downright dangerous men walk among us.

BloodAndFire · 23/09/2022 10:41

strawberriesonthemoon · 23/09/2022 00:55

I am writing my PhD thesis on sex work in England and Wales, with a part about UKpunting too, so I wanted to say thank you ever so much for creating this thread @Snowdust.

Whilst my thesis advocates for the decriminalisation of sex work in E&W, I have great sympathy for what you have experienced and think that we need much better welfare support for people in this country to help them leave sex work if they wish to. That is not to say that all sex workers should be encouraged to leave, IMO. I personally believe that we need to support women who are content in their sex work. We need legal reform.

I found your post to be both inspiring and heartbreaking in equal measure. Truly, I am in awe of the strength you have shown.

I sincerely hope that you find peace, safety, and comfort, and that you can leave the industry if you so choose.

Thank you for sharing your story

That is not to say that all sex workers should be encouraged to leave, IMO. I personally believe that we need to support women who are content in their sex work.

The absolute tone-deaf arrogance and glaring privilege of coming on to this thread, reading the reality of these women's experiences, and then promoting your own pro-'sex work' thesis while you sit at your desk... Horrendous.

Imnotswallowingthat · 23/09/2022 10:46

Snowdust · 22/09/2022 15:04

I did not expect to get this many people reply but i am so glad i posted it because i really did it to help any vulnerable women out there and i know mumsnet has a big following.

There has been many kind comments towards me and understanding of something that is very difficult and unless someone is in those shoes it's easy to judge. A few judgy comments is fine i expected that and they can have there opinion on it but the good people on here shine through with there support.

I just wish some men could understand the damage they do with the laughing, mocking and abusing women on UKPuntung. That forum should be held accountable for what they encourage.

I agree to an extent about the UKPunting site but isn't that why sex workers have the National Ugly Mugs site and database to identify the potentially harmful punters ? Where sex workers submit reviews of punters and their behaviours ?

oakleaffy · 23/09/2022 10:54

BloodAndFire · 23/09/2022 10:41

That is not to say that all sex workers should be encouraged to leave, IMO. I personally believe that we need to support women who are content in their sex work.

The absolute tone-deaf arrogance and glaring privilege of coming on to this thread, reading the reality of these women's experiences, and then promoting your own pro-'sex work' thesis while you sit at your desk... Horrendous.

Agreed, deeply condescending.

'' Thanks for giving me something to plagiarise for my thesis|''

DundasStreet · 23/09/2022 10:59

@54isanopendoor @womaninatightspot
thanks - yeah totally out of that game a long long time ago.
not to distract from the OPs point which is a really important one but bear with me . . . Every single man who came to see me was pretty much totally ordinary and normal. Some were a little odd, for sure, but there was never anyone who would stand out from any other man in the street. I can remember a fireman, a teacher, a film cameraman, a lonely retired chap . . . They were all absolutely ordinary and never did anything that wasn’t consented to by me.
Regardless of that, and the fact that I was safe and making my own choices and simply walked away when I didn’t want to do it any more - I have to stress that my experiences were NOT the norm; and also that there was nothing empowering about it at all. In the decades following I’ve thought about the reasons why I went down that route, as a well educated attractive (but skint) University student. I don’t have all the answers but there is something fundamental in there about self worth. I didn’t have it. So while I had lots going for me on paper, my family was a bit fucked up and I somehow missed out on the whole valuing myself thing. It’s sometimes not as simple as obvious vulnerabilities such as substance dependency or coercion and abuse. And even I remain a bit damaged by the experience - there’s a residual sense of shame that I allowed - even decided - these things. The point I’m trying to echo I guess is that my experiences vs the OPs are chalk and cheese (and dear OP I hope you find a way out soon) but you do not come out of it ‘empowered’. You don’t even come out of it undamaged.