CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

[Grumpusaurus]

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

Unless you’ve lived the “we’d love to come and see you” life you really can’t fathom JUST how often people turn up. It’s very difficult, time consuming and expensive.

@StClare101 Absolutely my thoughts too!

Oops wrong thread 🤣

Well done you!!

I would’ve answered the messages and say you’re away

Oops wrong thread 🤣

The word No already explained the position I would have thought

I enjoyed the random post and a little bit of the BSBs😄

LOL - you're basically calling the OP a liar here, did you actually mean to?!

I don't actually find it at all strange that for the OP, "numerous” people in your life a) have your number b) know where you live c) close enough to ask to stay with you "

People like the OP comes across as - confident, great sense of humour, successful in niche career - tend to have a lot of friends and acquaintances, because they're fun and interesting people.

And if they're friends, people normally know where each other live, have each others numbers and - logistically - tend to live within a day's journey from one another.

Sorry! 🙄

Excellent reply to a gratuitously unkind post. I'm a gonna steal it!

I was reading this with a smile as I think you did so well !! Good on you for not letting her in !!! That’s just plain rude of her

Hahahaha True that! It also very much confirms that she had received and read my message in July.

Oooh that sounds interesting but we don't have Netflix. We don't do blowing.

That would cause Drama opening the door to this rude person...she would try other tricks in her book so that she could stay... she is a disgrace!

We just finished for today and have very little left to do, so we can work quite relaxed tomorrow. To be fair, we do tend to be cautious and allow for extra time in case something goes wrong. We always plan to be super prepared and not have the usual mad dash at the end but projects simply do not pan out that way. We do the planning, research, design etc in good time but we do not actually purchase materials or start work until we receive 60 percent of the fee up front. That way if a client suddenly changes their mind or wants to pull out, we aren’t out of pocket. The deadline really was quite long this time but because it was for a public venue and thanks to the joys of bureaucracy, it took a while till the money was paid to us. Now usually, we would then reset the countdown for the completion date but we are part of a wider project with a looming opening day.

This reminds me of the time a “friend” showed up at my house just 24hr after I arrived home from the hospital with my new born baby. I hid in the back room until she got the message and left.

People who show up unannounced and uninvited deserve this kind of treatment. Well done OP!

Wow OP, after reading your first post I was hooked and had to read everything!
That is indeed a CF of a level that I honestly did not think existed. I too salute you for your resilience and standing your ground in radio silence.
My only advice, if you do decide to respond to her eventually, please do not use wet lettuce words like "sorry we've missed you", "there must have been a misunderstanding" or even "have a lovely holiday". I am astounded at the amount of people advising you of such nonsense replies. Much better to go blunt with something like "What do you mean you were at our house?? I said No back in July. Can't believe you asked in the first place, you don't even look at us with your arse normally. Do not come here again and do not contact me again". Or leave it Radio Silence, it will drive her nuts and she will be SO angry with you, because of course you are the horrible/ryde one and it's all your fault 😂

Forgot to say that there were no further messages or calls. Without free accommodation, she is not in the slightest interested in us. Don’t think she turned up again today either but DH did switch off the doorbell and the speaker for it in the workshop, so we would probably not have noticed either way. I haven’t blocked her yet because I am interested to see if she does try to contact me again. When she asked to stay, she mentioned that it was for over 10 days. DH reckons that she might still try again after the weekend, after we finished our current project although I did not mention a specific date for when that was to her. Think DH is secretly enjoying the drama hahahaha

What the actual....! That is incredibly thoughtless.

With suitcases?

Well yes of course she'll come back

10 days? 10 DAYS?????!!!!

I no people are saying don’t engage. But I’d need a conclusion,explanation or what she was thinking then and now.

💐

We are lucky to live in a nice seaside town and like you we get the random calls out of the blue with friends and relatives basically wanting a free holiday. We also accommodated this for years but now we always have an excuse in our back pocket once the calls start coming in around March time. Don’t get me wrong close friends and family we don’t have a problem with it’s the distant ones. What pisses me off most of all the CFs are happy to come but never do they offer us “free” accommodation at their homes. You totally did the right thing.