CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

[Grumpusaurus]

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

Why does her having cystic fibrosis matter in this story...?

Good idea don’t read the message. Block them for a bit. They’ll say anything to make you feel guilty about doing the thing that you planned to do before they thought of visiting never-mind turning up uninvited. We have to do this too, not because we’re a holiday destination but other reasons.

Why does her having cystic fibrosis matter in this story...?

Are you being sarcastic? CF is a well established Mumsnet shorthand for Cheeky Fucker.

I was not.

I've read all of this but still confused what is a CF?

Cheeky Fucker

@CoffeeWithMyOxygen that was my first thought too as I'd never heard of another CF acronym either, but that's for explaining what it was in this occasion

I know of someone who makes commissioned 'pieces' that involve carpentry, welding and industrial quantities of resin.

Zat you OP?

loving this thread. a masterclass in managing CF's.

U missed the chance of telling her to F off as you were very busy and had expressedly told her that, and not to try and take advantage by just turning up.
What a cheek. Shame to be rude but you did the right thing, sort of.

Explained earlier. If you're involved in process work, there are points where you have to wait for things to dry or whatever. That doesn;t mean you can be interrupted by other things, though you might be able to do tasks like write a letter or post than you could break off from when the work needed you to. Having someone hanging about is completely different.

Not too busy to post a lengthy story right away though…

So what?

People tend to put up with absolutely outrageous behaviour from CFs for fear of gossip. Let them!

Fear of gossip, of the guilty party badmouthing their victim. seems to be at the heart of many threads, especially 'borrowing' money, I think people need to use social media to get the truth out there rather than holding back.

She didn't reply to your July message for over a month. Personally I wouldn't even look at her messages with my arse.

If you really don't believe simply move to a tourist destination. Any seafront / beach area, major town centre within walking distance of tourist attractions or the middle of nowhere with amazing views / walks and see for yourself.
I read something by a woman who used to live in a lovely seaside town, then moved to an industrial town/city in the Midlands. A CF friend rang her to ask if she could come to stay, but wasn't so keen when the woman said where she was now living!

Move to a nice holiday spot and you will REALLY understand!...🛏 for free ++
I think OP was brilliant, the way she dealt with this CF

We live in a tourist area too and have a place abroad…amazing how often ‘friends’ want to come and visit!!! 😬😳 you did the right thing!!

Wonder if acquaintance will re-appear...

I'm a big fan of how CF turned your "we will be busy working at home all week" to "I thought you said you're around all week" the absolute cheek of it!!!! Can't quite believe there are people like this :D

Is it glass blowing OP??? I LOVED that Netflix show 😃

Attach a large DO NOT DISTURB sign to your front door.

Most people would not dare cross this - even the pushy, insistent ones.

Unless you’ve lived the “we’d love to come and see you” life you really can’t fathom JUST how often people turn up. It’s very difficult, time consuming and expensive.

Grumpusaurus "Let them". Atta girl!

One of the reasons I had to sideline my writing for years was because I was also the main caregiver for our kids, my husband's work starts early and is erratic.

It's really fecking hard to be as selfish as you NEED to be in order to create. You have to be able to drop everything and everyone and just be in the zone. It's probably why successful artists are generally considered such assholes (not you Grump!). You have to put your work first.