Page 19 | CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

Grumpusaurus · 2022-09-02T00:04:27+00:00

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message. The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

SpinCityBlues · 03/09/2022 13:50

I’m enjoying imagining the OP sticking shells together to make small-scale depictions of the local flora and fauna in Bognor.

Glued on top of Black Magic boxes? Those shell creations are the absolute biz not.

MinnieGirl · 03/09/2022 14:10

Grumpusaurus · 03/09/2022 12:41

I really respect and agree with a lot of the posts about communication in general. But you aren’t talking about a normal, reasonable person when it comes to CF! For us the conversation was finished back in July, period, when I issued a very clear NO that she could not come to stay at our home, very much reiterating that we did have no time to socialise either. Her rocking up regardless is a total violation of our privacy and basic boundaries. We are working. I am trying to find a really good example to compare that to. When a bus driver is driving in very busy traffic, he/she needs to solely concentrate on the road and cannot turn around to chat to someone. In many cases, people cannot just wander into your place of work in let's say the middle of an important meeting. That’s why people do not answer the phone and block out any other interruptions.

CF is the kind of person to totally bulldoze over other people. Any form of response will just make her try to push people to force her agenda on them like some deranged godzilla. She has quite a bit of form for bullying people who are kind and accommodating. It would be really outing if we did mention specifics. Her coming uninvited albeit a long way is her problem and absolutely nothing to do with us! Her unwanted contact is more like some random sleazeball on the street that tries to force a woman into unwanted attention. You tend to ignore them completely and walk on, as even engaging with a Fuck Off! can totally escalate things and be very draining. She is not a friend, we barely exchanged more than one word over the years, in fact, she blanked us at events in the past. Why on earth would we want this utter cow in our home! Hotels are very expensive, as the nearby town is a chi chi tourist area but even if she could not afford it, it is absolutely none of our problem. We owe this entitled prat nothing! You do not have to always respond or explain yourself to some randoms that make unsolicited contact.

I admit that in the initial OMERFECKINGGAWD reaction, I blew this up far too much into a greater dramatic moment than it is in reality. But we don’t really care what this woman thinks of us or other acquaintances. Let her mouth off and tell bullshit tales about us leaving her stranded. If anything that might put off others trying to invite themselves. Our good friends, people that matter, know the situation. People tend to put up with absolutely outrageous behaviour from CFs for fear of gossip. Let them!

Excellent post OP
You are so right, you don’t owe this cf anything!
You told her no, she came anyway, tough shit!

CF’s are so manipulative it really is the best thing to just ignore them completely. They can’t deal with radio silence…
But I am curious to know if she tries to come back or contact you again…

HotWashCycle · 03/09/2022 14:13

Whatever you do don't respond, OP. Stay strong on that. After all she has blanked you in real life, you owe her nothing - either in explanations or any other communication after you wrote to answer her original enquiry in July - that is enough. Keep her blocked from now on, and sod it. What a CF. You are well rid of that contact.

StressedOutMumBex · 03/09/2022 14:17

Grumpusaurus · 03/09/2022 12:41

I really respect and agree with a lot of the posts about communication in general. But you aren’t talking about a normal, reasonable person when it comes to CF! For us the conversation was finished back in July, period, when I issued a very clear NO that she could not come to stay at our home, very much reiterating that we did have no time to socialise either. Her rocking up regardless is a total violation of our privacy and basic boundaries. We are working. I am trying to find a really good example to compare that to. When a bus driver is driving in very busy traffic, he/she needs to solely concentrate on the road and cannot turn around to chat to someone. In many cases, people cannot just wander into your place of work in let's say the middle of an important meeting. That’s why people do not answer the phone and block out any other interruptions.

CF is the kind of person to totally bulldoze over other people. Any form of response will just make her try to push people to force her agenda on them like some deranged godzilla. She has quite a bit of form for bullying people who are kind and accommodating. It would be really outing if we did mention specifics. Her coming uninvited albeit a long way is her problem and absolutely nothing to do with us! Her unwanted contact is more like some random sleazeball on the street that tries to force a woman into unwanted attention. You tend to ignore them completely and walk on, as even engaging with a Fuck Off! can totally escalate things and be very draining. She is not a friend, we barely exchanged more than one word over the years, in fact, she blanked us at events in the past. Why on earth would we want this utter cow in our home! Hotels are very expensive, as the nearby town is a chi chi tourist area but even if she could not afford it, it is absolutely none of our problem. We owe this entitled prat nothing! You do not have to always respond or explain yourself to some randoms that make unsolicited contact.

I admit that in the initial OMERFECKINGGAWD reaction, I blew this up far too much into a greater dramatic moment than it is in reality. But we don’t really care what this woman thinks of us or other acquaintances. Let her mouth off and tell bullshit tales about us leaving her stranded. If anything that might put off others trying to invite themselves. Our good friends, people that matter, know the situation. People tend to put up with absolutely outrageous behaviour from CFs for fear of gossip. Let them!

Bravo, stick to your guns you are 100% right.

Glittertwins · 03/09/2022 14:24

I'd be blocking her number and maintaining complete radio silence. You owe her nothing and she's not part of your close friends.

Glittertwins · 03/09/2022 14:24

I'd be blocking her number and maintaining complete radio silence. You owe her nothing and she's not part of your close friends.

EmmaH2022 · 03/09/2022 15:13

Grumpusaurus · 03/09/2022 12:23

The property stood empty for decades and was totally dilapidated with no roof etc. Especially, the former hangar/now workshop was really uggly. But for us it was perfect because it allowed us to rebuild it to exactly how we want. It took a number of years in backbreaking work to more or less rebuild it even putting actual floors in with embedded underfloor heating etc but both DH and I could do almost all the work ourselves. We then got the finished work signed off by the relevant tradespeople. We did stretch our budget but it worked out far more economic when you added together both mortage costs for our former house and lease for our previous workshop. We paid nearly 2 grand a month for a workspace that is a fraction of our current space that was in a really dodgy area and where we had to constantly worry about break-ins and vandalism! The area is truly beautiful and we aren't too far from PIL and now closer to DM.

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Sounds awesome, I never say awesome...but oh my property dreams!

great you have the skills to do that.

Tigertigertigertiger · 03/09/2022 15:27

I don’t know what your job is but I like the sound of it !

CatsandFish · 03/09/2022 15:36

Your job sounds fascinating OP and it sounds like you both get a lot out of it, congrats. I also think radio silence is definitely the way to go. I absolutely love your style.

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/09/2022 15:42

Soubriquet · 03/09/2022 08:01

Hutzpah as far as am I aware

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Yes - but with the "h" right at the back of your tongue/hard palate, not quite touching, giving a breathy yet hard "k" to the sound

BlueMongoose · 03/09/2022 15:45

People who work from home often find other people don't respect their working hours, even if those hours are pretty standard......

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 03/09/2022 15:50

I am astounded at the number of When are you getting back? messages your "friend" put on Whatsapp in such a short space of time. She's used to getting her own way, isn't she? Another 'bravo' from me for ignoring her.

WiddlinDiddlin · 03/09/2022 16:13

Ahh the oblivious uber cunty fucker (cheeky is far too mild for this behaviour!)...

They're used to getting their own way, PLUS they're never going to take something like creative/art/freelance work seriously, because its something wafty ladies do for a hobby.. so it doesn't really matter, does it?

It's easy, you can do it whilst chatting and eating cakes and making cups of tea...

I've had to stop answering the phone when I am working as my sister will ring whenever she is driving and bored (and as she is now a private driver AND a food delivery driver... thats a lot of bored)... she genuinely believes that because I am at home, I can listen to her witter on and on...

But no matter which job I am doing (and like a true creative chaotic person, thats several!) I still CAN'T do it AND chat/witter/listen to someone else.

She has even sat here in person and seen how many layers im keeping track of in a digital illustration, or how many things I need to cross-check in copy-writing and said 'wow how do you keep track of all that...' and DOESNT GET IT.

Anyway I admire your strength and restraint because I would absolutely have responded to the rude WhatsApps by now!

I shall go try to squash the burning desire to know what it is you do, though guessing seems fun its probably really irritating after a while (but but but is it making sculptures out of Tunnocks caramel wafer wrappers?! I bet it is..)

Gottoomuchgoingon · 03/09/2022 16:17

Grumpusaurus · 03/09/2022 12:41

I really respect and agree with a lot of the posts about communication in general. But you aren’t talking about a normal, reasonable person when it comes to CF! For us the conversation was finished back in July, period, when I issued a very clear NO that she could not come to stay at our home, very much reiterating that we did have no time to socialise either. Her rocking up regardless is a total violation of our privacy and basic boundaries. We are working. I am trying to find a really good example to compare that to. When a bus driver is driving in very busy traffic, he/she needs to solely concentrate on the road and cannot turn around to chat to someone. In many cases, people cannot just wander into your place of work in let's say the middle of an important meeting. That’s why people do not answer the phone and block out any other interruptions.

CF is the kind of person to totally bulldoze over other people. Any form of response will just make her try to push people to force her agenda on them like some deranged godzilla. She has quite a bit of form for bullying people who are kind and accommodating. It would be really outing if we did mention specifics. Her coming uninvited albeit a long way is her problem and absolutely nothing to do with us! Her unwanted contact is more like some random sleazeball on the street that tries to force a woman into unwanted attention. You tend to ignore them completely and walk on, as even engaging with a Fuck Off! can totally escalate things and be very draining. She is not a friend, we barely exchanged more than one word over the years, in fact, she blanked us at events in the past. Why on earth would we want this utter cow in our home! Hotels are very expensive, as the nearby town is a chi chi tourist area but even if she could not afford it, it is absolutely none of our problem. We owe this entitled prat nothing! You do not have to always respond or explain yourself to some randoms that make unsolicited contact.

I admit that in the initial OMERFECKINGGAWD reaction, I blew this up far too much into a greater dramatic moment than it is in reality. But we don’t really care what this woman thinks of us or other acquaintances. Let her mouth off and tell bullshit tales about us leaving her stranded. If anything that might put off others trying to invite themselves. Our good friends, people that matter, know the situation. People tend to put up with absolutely outrageous behaviour from CFs for fear of gossip. Let them!

Absolutely love this.

Good for you

KangFang · 03/09/2022 16:21

Any further contact from the CF, OP?

She must be raging. grin

Binglebong · 03/09/2022 16:21

I've decided the OP is responsible for this. With added shells.

Seriously though, I love the way you have dealt either this. Kudos!

CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

shebathequeenof · 03/09/2022 16:55

Whenever there is a CF post on someone trying to use your home as a free hotel people always always always don't believe the OP.

Non believers count yourself lucky you have never encountered this!

If you really don't belive simply move to a tourist destination. Any seafront / beach area, major town centre within walking distance of tourist attractions or the middle of nowhere with amazing views / walks and see for yourself.

Well done OP! I'm sure you can be busy and come on mn too. Really - hosting someone else in your home all the extra cooking laundry and general hosting over a week is hardly the same as going on mn during a tea break.

BlueMongoose · 03/09/2022 17:25