CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

[Grumpusaurus]

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

I think you did the right thing. Its rude and cheeky especially since she read the message.

Think you might be on the wrong thread.... 😄

The cheek of this person has really quite honestly amused me! I am absolutely baffled by this!
have you got a holiday let or something? I don’t understand why people would think it’s okay to expect you to put them up at the drop of hat! No matter what location you live in!

I hope you finish early and get a bit of a break before DC are back, I suggest that in a week or two, when she's most definitely not there anymore, just message back with an ' oh, I missed this when working, what a shame but have loved to see you '

Would have, autocorrect fail, not bad gramma

I always feel the need to close things out so in another day or so I would respond saying something like “I rarely open WhatsApp in the middle of a project. I’ve just seen your messages. Scroll up to see my last message to you which said we wouldn’t be available. Have a lovely holiday”.

Partly because I think she will go back and tell people how you let her down and I would like there to be a reminder in front of her that I did no such thing.

Partly because it feels a bit more normal than just ignoring her.

And partly because I can never resist communication!

Same! Good response.

Please don't say "shame, would have loved to see you" as that's an invite to turn up out of the blue another time!

Just, Sorry. As we said in our last msg, we were unable to have visitors.

Do hot air balloons figure at all?

I wouldn't reply at all in fact I'd block her and get on with life. You don't like her there's no need to have her in your life so this is a perfect opportunity to delete her.

Oh yes, didn't thought of that, need to up my game

why is this in the 'relationship's' sub ?

Agree, and also because otherwise you'll have this hanging over you all week, wondering if she might stop by, it if you'll bump into her I f you go out.

You could just reply and say "hi, really surprised to see all your messages! As mentioned in July, we are busy on a really big project with work, so have no spare time this week. Shame we won't be able to catch up with you this time" and leave it at that. Ignore any further requests, but at least you've been clear (I know you were last time, but, you know!).

How can I use this in a sentence because I love this word!?

Make sure you don't pronounce it phonetically!

Hutzpah as far as am I aware

I wouldn't be able to resist replying with something like "Hi there, there seems to have been some confusion - I said we'd be flat out with our commission and not able to entertain even a flying visit. As such we were out back in our studio with [music on? machines going? whatever makes most sense] so wouldn't hear the door. It's a shame your trip fell on the week we were so busy! Hope you had fun."

Partly to close off the possibility of her re-framing it as your fault but also just to see what an earth she'd say.

I love your style, OP and would absolutely maintain the wall of silence and ‘unread’ messages. CFs are masters of cunning when they get the tiniest chunk of communication. 🥷

Chink - not chunk!

Nah… keep the silence. Probably irritates her more than anything! She can’t try and argue with it. In this case, silence is really golden.

Agree with this. I was tempted to say reply, just to see what happens, but given she didn't reply last time, there's no point in you doing so.

OP, the sheer gall of it is astounding..I presume she definitely received your messages politely declining? I ask this to make sure because..the sheer gall of it is astounding! Well done for not being bullied into playing host which is essentially what the uninvited caller was attempting to effect.

I would quote your original reply back to her. You need to make it clear that she cannot do this in future. This person sounds like one of those who never accept that ‘no’ applies to them - I’d be very keen to hammer the point home if I was you!