CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

[Grumpusaurus]

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

Isn’t it just marvellous that your dh is totally on board with all this shit 👍

I'm having a right old chuckle at this bullshit- thread.

Well done, OP - MN thanks you!!

she seemed surprised that we were not at home, as I told her we would be working on our project.

This, along with her repeated messages, makes me think that she's like a toddler in an adult's body - who assumes that, if they can see you, you're fully there to serve them and have absolutely nothing else whatsoever to do.

It would seem that even lockdown hasn't taught some people that many folk may be at home, but working and not available.... because they're, erm, working. How would she like it if somebody went to her workplace, found her there and assumed she was thus free to entertain them for an extended period?

Just because she may be paid to WFH whilst actually swinging the lead, surely she must realise that many people who WFH do actually spend a lot of time focused and dedicated to getting their work done?

Your decision to ignore her has been 100% vindicated. She read but never replied to your message months ago and only now, now that she's done whatever suits her plans - by travelling and overruling your decision not to host her - it's somehow your responsibility to jump to her every message?!

Frankly the thing I’m most is disappointed by is her gramma.

Well done, OP - MN thanks you!!
Why?

Yes, not many grown women use text speak these days.

😆😆😆 love it when that happens!

I would reply and say Hello, we told you we were really busy with a work deadline this week. Hope you're ok and having a nice holiday.

Well done, OP - MN thanks you!!
Why?

For reading the messages and telling us what they said - as many of us had been begging her to do from the start. Not OP's fault that they weren't more explosive.

Oh come on.

I know some of you had probably hoped for something more dramatic and entertaining (as would I if it was someone else) but I am bloody relieved that there aren’t major fireworks, at least so far. We can stand up for ourselves but neither of us really want any full on confrontation if we can avoid it. We are despite our posturing quite gentle souls at heart and rather deal with situations with humour.

Yes, not many grown women use text speak these days.

I know several who do (men as well). One of them is highly intelligent, has a doctorate, high-powered job, very well-spoken in person and still sends texts that look like she's 12.

Text speak is obsolete now that basic phones with only number pads are a thing of the past - I can't for the life of me understand why people still use it.

Oh come on.

Fair enough if you personally are not interested in the thread, in spite of deciding to read it and contribute.

It's making me chuckle though.

CF is quite well educated believe it or not and holds down quite a prestigious job. It irritates me when especially with WhatsApp there is no character limit.

Why?

And here's me with an old fashioned phone who likes to spell everything the right way. 😁 Sometimes takes me ages to send a text though. I miss my old Samsung phone, that was far easier to use thank my current Nokia brick. (I refuse to get a smart phone, although I'm typing this on a tablet. At this point it's just stubbornness.)

Crikey well done for standing your ground I wouldn't answer either!
Hopefully she will either go somewhere else or just pay for a holiday for the week and leave you in peace!

We have had some CFs due to where we live one even said to us once when we said no we are away oh don't worry woukd still live to stay just post me a key.....ummm nope!

Unreal!

The only response @Grumpusaurus should send, if she chooses to, is something along the lines of "did you find a reasonably priced place to stay?"

Certainly nothing remotely apologetic. The only apology should come from the CF who turned up despite being told clearly that it was inconvenient.

We all know she won't, however.

The two blue ticks can mean delivered not necessarily read.
However, even if she hadn't read your message she was being a cf turning up without a proper arrangement (or an invite!)

The two blue ticks can mean delivered not necessarily read.
However, even if she hadn't read your message she was being a cf turning up without a proper arrangement (or an invite!)

Epic door ignoring OP well done!

I can categorically deny that DH and I are working jointly on a pottery wheel! Mil is a very good ceramicist though. She does really beautiful nature inspired pieces. She has been teaching DC to throw pottery. Throwing very much describes some of their output. DS made an ashtray for DH that looks like a well balanced turd. DH convinced him that Mummy feels left out so he made me a matching turd storage container. DD makes weird critters that are actually a little bit cute and remind me of those little clay figurines Antony Gormley did for his field installation. But yeah, mostly they are a bit shit too. Sadly, our DC are not little prodigies and so far artistic talent has missed them by a mile or hundred.

I would be tempted to reply to those by forwarding your original "no, you can't stay" message.