Am I crazy or is he bullshitting me

[Norwolf]

I am currently away at my boyfriends house/country. All has been going well, we even went for some ring shopping as he said he wanted to get a feel of what it is i liked.

Anyway yesterday I asked him if i could see his phone, we had taken some pictures of some rings earlier and I wanted to revisit them. This turned into a complete disaster. He said no. And I asked him why I can’t have it. His first explanation was that he did not want to have to explain himself. Then he said he had stuff on there that would be misinterpreted and he doesn’t want me to see that.

Now this is a red flag to me because it’s letting me know that I cannot trust him, but he insists that it’s nothing and that he loves me and no one else matters. I am soo heartbroken because I really thought the world of him, but it’s looking like I will have to cut ties with this man. Am I over reacting? Going crazy to have doubt about him?

Nope, trust your gut!

He also proceeded to sleep with the phone in his pocket!!

Yeah you were ring shopping for someone else... he wanted a woman's input! Sorry.

A huge red flag. If he won’t show you, end the relationship. This is very concerning behaviour.

Red flag 🚩 if he won't tell you why of course you'll think the worst. Is his phone always with him?

Does he live in another country? How often do you see him. It does sound very suspicious.

Depends what your gut says but he could have more photos of ideas for where he wants to propose etc ?!

But if it's a deal breaker I would just say I want to see or I can't go on?

Would you be happy to hand your phone over to him at a moments notice?

Yes we live in separate countries but in the process of me moving here to be with him permanently by December.

He has access to my phone, I really have never had an issue with him using it for anything

Please don't do this Op! Trust your guy and absolutely don't move countries for him. Also don't give him any money (& hoping you haven't already).

This to me is screaming run, and run far far away!

You didn't go ring shopping @Norwolf.☹️ He was leading you on, it's a common tactic amongst Players.

This.

Do not move for this man. Not an inch

When's the next flight home?

I'm thinking he hasn't told his other gf of his plans to move yet. Very dodgy to be that cagey with your phone.

He’s told you that it could be misinterpreted. I’d guess either extreme porn/ another woman/ gay and you’re the beard etc etc. The possibilities are endless. If he doesn’t think you’d be happy seeing it, you really wouldn’t.

I think it strange that he said there was stuff on his phone that could be misinterpreted. I have nothing on my phone that could be misinterpreted, do you?

I have nothing on my phone that i need to hide from him. Really thought he was a great person, everything is just fucked up now.

Honestly just leave. He’s mucking you about.

It’s not the not wanting you to see his phone that is the red flag. I don’t agree that anyone should just hand their phone over on command and that if they don’t they’re obviously up to no good. But. The fact that he actually admitted there is stuff on the phone that you would misinterpret tells you everything.

@GhostFromTheOtherSide this is exactly it. I literally had no intentions of going through his phone but his reaction just caught me off guard and his excuse even more.

Yes.

Do you sleep with yours in your pocket?

For some people their phone is a direct extension of their inner thoughts, like a diary that some still keep. Why should that be shared with anyone?

I might Google all sorts of weird shit I don't want others to know about and save random images that mean something to me at the time, but I don't want to have to explain to another or have the possibility they're misinterpreted.

If my partner said hand over your phone or it's over, I'd tell them to fucking do one. A relationship for me still has boundaries, I'm entitled to my privacy and I won't suffer at the hands of emotional blackmail ie show me or it's over. Well guess what, it's now over, grab your stuff and cheerio.

If you want the pics, just ask him to WhatsApp them over and I'm sure he will. It's pretty simple.

Or listen to the LTB crowd who will insist he has another woman, tell you they're sorry and post a flowers emoji. You can then be single on your own and use the time contemplate where healthy boundaries are for your next relationship.

I bet you a million dollars there is another woman. Or women. He is gaslighting you… ‘misinterpreted’… 🙄
do not make the biggest mistake of your life. He is not the great guy he wants you to think he is. And once you’ve called his bullshit, prepare for more bullshit of such magnitude it might yet sweep you off your feet… be careful.