I want to leave him but with a great parting shot!

[anewlifeforme22]

Hi, first time poster so please bear with me.
Long story short, my DH had an affair starting 3 yrs ago, said the usual when I found out, promised no contact, blah blah, I gave him another chance. Then I found out he was contacting her again, so stupidly I gave him yet another chance but made it very clear what it would do to me and I'd leave him. I even gave him an out and said if he can't stay away then leave me now and I'll let them get on with it because I couldn't bear being lied to again.

Anyway, a year later, guess what, they are in contact, and doing god knows what else. Well I know what else, without going into detail, he's left obvious signs!! He obviously doesn't love me, I have to accept that, so I'm biding my time and will confront him soon. I'm devastated, we've been together since teenagers and we're now in our 40s. I know he is to blame much more than the little tart, after all, he is the one who is married, and although I have intense feelings of hate towards her, I'm not even going to acknowledge her. This is on him

So, I keep flitting between being devastated and being soooo angry at the way he's treating me, like I'm nothing. When I confront him, I want to leave him with a damn good parting shot that will make him really think. It might sound stupid, but it'll make me feel better. Any ideas? I want to make him feel stupid and ashamed of his actions, and I always think of what to say when it's too late!!

So, ladies (and any decent gents) hit me with your best please x

The biggest revenge is not giving a shit about him and moving on and living your own life.

Do that.

This, pretty much. He may even be relieved.

You know that bit in Nightmare on Elm Street where she discovered that she gave Freddie all the energy and took it all back, and he just fell out of life? That. You don't need to put more in. You need to take it all back.

Without going back on my previous posts, I have reread your post again. I am sure you have the bigger picture covered, so this post is in that vein.

At a point that is important to you, thank HER. Take her flowers and a bottle of champagne wherever you find her - her work, her home, the local park. It’s irrelevant. Thank her for being the person who has freed you for a new life, where you are not in the pit of cheating.

Higher plain stuff. It works.

Agree with pp. You could always clean the toilet with his toothbrush just before you leave as well.

Silence is the most powerful way. He will be used to dismissing your words--- your silence will taunt him longer. He'll wonder why you dont shout or cry. Your dignity will be a long-lasting thorn in his side.

I'd get your ducks in a row, get all the financial information you need, make copies of anything you need and then book a weekend away somewhere nice just for you. And then have the divorce papers served on the day that you go. Then block his calls for the whole time you're away.

Get some really good legal advice. Walk away with your head held high. And maybe tell her to get tested for chlamydia for a laugh.

Obviously, get everything sorted financially, to your best advantage. He's staying because it is more 'comfortable' so let him realise the reality of his new life (less money, few luxuries, small flat / rented rather than owned).

But don't divorce him because of his adultery. Tell him you are divorcing him because you neither like him nor love him.

Friend left her cheating husband when he was away in the us.

Took all her stuff and packed up her son(not his). When he got home he was greeted by an empty house and a note saying 'sorry I wasn't enough'. She got on with her life and moved on - struggled obviously but he was never ever any the wiser. That's the best revenge imo.

Her mate also did some ad hoc cleaning at the house and pissed in his psoriasis shampoo.

Revenge is underrated - sometimes it's just needed 🤷🏻‍♀️

Are you leaving the house or will he be leaving. X

Leave him when he’s out. Take everything you need and never look back!

I wouldn't say anything to him but depending on how he parks his car (presuming he has one) get some white paint (black paint if his car is white or silver) and write in large letters on the PASSENGER side of his car something along the lines of " my Wife has left me because I cannot stop lying to her and because I continue to have sex with another woman. I also have a small penis".
It make take him a while to work out why he keeps getting some odd looks.
By the time he confronts you about it the damage is done.
I am sorry you are having to deal with somebody like this on your life. I have been there and hopefully, one day, this will all be a long way back in your past.

I don’t see why you should be the one to leave if you don’t want to,

Kick him out.

No fault divorce now if in England or Wales …and only cause in Scotland is ‘irretrievable breakdown’

Stay calm. Act like you really don't care with a I'm done attitude. If you want a comment to hit him where it hurts think of something that he's sensitive about like overweight, small penis, occasional premature ejaculation, you having to fake it, weird eyebrows anything that makes him doubt himself. It'll play on his mind long after you've split up.

A former work colleague of mine took a pair of scissors and cut out every zip to every pair of her husband's trousers, when she packed his cases upon discovery of his adultery. She then attached a note to the pair at the top of his case saying "This will save you the time

This never happened.

Say nothing. Just put a few prawns in the curtain poles and leave.
For good measure you could unpick the hem on the curtains pop some in there and stitch it back up. 😊

Op, whichever clever tactic you use, just promise us you will come back and update us, preferably with a drawing of his face too lol.

im invested.

Can't remember quite why I was talking to cheating ex, but he gave me his opinion on something and I told him I could care less what he thought as he meant nothing to me. He looked very shocked at that.

i left a verbally abusive marriage so our young child did not see his dad screaming at me and shouting over trivial matters. I was constantly called stupid amongst other things, and often asked ‘what’s wrong with you?’ He called me delusional and really hated me. We slept in separate rooms and he showed no affection in the marriage.

we had a comfortable life but I was worried our child would see his dad calling me names so I left.
A few years later and I am still struggling, to come to terms with the separation because it is upsetting living as a single parent and seeing impact this has had on our child. His dad has thrived since we separated and has made friends at school and has a supportive family and network of friends. I however have no family and ‘real’ friends. The school mums think I am crazy (for leaving my marriage) and I am now an outsider to them. I am struggling with moving on and coming to terms with the marriage breakdown and the impact it’s had. Things have gone from bad to worse and despite having counselling I feel I am stuck and have ruined the one chance I had to be full time mum and part of a little family unit. I also think I have ruined my child’s life as he does not know what it’s like to have mum and dad around as a family.
I miss my child so much when he’s with dad and can’t wait to see him. But he feels differently and says he’d rather be with his dad!
my heart is broken and continues to break…any advice from anyone on how to cope with being a single parent and the rollercoaster that is shared parenting?

Serve him with papers for adultery.

And print off exactly what he will owe you for two children in CM.

My friend's mum left her financially abusive husband one night when he was on the night shift, she cleared the house except for one plate, knife, fork, teaspoon, a mug & a sleeping bag, she simply stuck a note to the door saying I've had enough, hope your money keeps you warm at night.

The best parting shot from you is indifference.. He won't be expecting that