Would this annoy you?

[dontforgettofloss]

Newish boyfriend, I was at his and he was making us some food, he told me to put the tv on a pick something to watch, there was hardly anything on, so I just stuck the news on, I wanted to watch it anyway.
He came and sat down, then said "you can pick something else to watch, you don't have to watch the news to impress me".
For context, he's in a high up job at the top of his profession, he's well educated, went to private school, I'm at the other end of the scale- I'm a cleaner.
When he said that I kind of felt irritated, like I'm not intelligent enough to want to watch the news.
I've not had good relationships in the past, and I have a problem with being able to pick up on any possible red flags, so please be gentle with me and tell me if I'm being too sensitive?

Maybe. It’s hard to say. My response would have been to say, “I’m not trying to impress anyone, I want to watch the news”, and left it at that.

I’d be wary though, because, as you say, you have made previous bad choices.

Yes, it would annoy me, not just because of the condescending implication that you're too thick to watch the news but also because he seems to think your main mission in life is to impress him. Unless he was saying it tongue in cheek?

Yes it would annoy me. I'd have asked him if he thought watching cartoons was more my thing.

So arrogant

What a prat- I'm cringing.

I’d have said “oh did you think CBeebies is more my kind of thing then? Let’s have that then.”

And made him watch Mr fucking Tumble all night.

I said to him that I wanted to watch it, and he said "ok".

And it wasn't tongue in cheek, he was completely serious

Maybe you’re just both too different

We do get along well and have a lot in common- apart from our jobs and education level

Hmm I’d just log it in my brain for future reference, it would irritate me too but I’d let it go for now, but if he shows other signs of being condescending I’d be wary.

Your response was spot on, straight to the point.

That is obnoxious. Lots of people like or dislike watching the news, regardless of intellect. I personally hate it.

Maybe he partly meant he personally didn't see why someone would choose to watch the news for their own amusement.

But yes, he didn't come across well there.

Maybe he partly meant he personally didn't see why someone would choose to watch the news for their own amusement.

That's possible, I think I'm just worried because I don't trust my own judgment anymore.

That last post was meant to quote @OldFan

I just have a bad feeling in my gut, and I don't know if it's because of my past relationships, or if something really isn't right. There are other things that aren't related to being condescending that are making me feel a bit iffy- he follows a lot of scantily clad women on social media (sorry if this is a drip feed, but I was only unsure about the comment) but again, I'm not sure if that's wrong or not really

Why don't you trust your own judgement?

A lot of women would be put off by a boyfriend following raunchy accounts, your judgement isn't abnormal there.

And his comment wasn't good really.

What a total prick. It says a lot about what he thinks of you.

I don't trust my judgement because I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive

I personally think past abusive/unpleasant relationships don't usually make a woman's judgement inaccurate. Those experiences just make us more aware and they hone our gut instinct. A lot of women who've been in abusive relationship say they find that instinct very important in interactions with men.

Tbh I think he's shown his feelings and is a bit of a shit. This is what he thinks of you, I've had an ex the same and his family were even worse. He's a bit new, I'd tread carefully 💐

I actually kind of scoffed when i got to the part of your post where he says that. It's a weird leap to make, and whilst it can be shrugged off it does indicate something about the way he's thinking of things. I was once in a similar dynamic as you. I remember he came home once and I was listening to classical music just because I was curious and there was a similarly awkward statement!

^^ that.

id stop seeing him. He obviously thinks you're beneath him & are interested in 'impressing' him.

git.

this won't get any better until Captain Twatface grows the fuck up & thst may never happen.

find someone who thinks you're the Best Thing Ever!!

This. Let it register, but this alone is a big nothing. You handled it well.

What a prick.

As an isolated incident, it wouldn't necessarily irritate me and I'd just think that he didn't know me yet. The early stages of relationships can often be full of surprises- good and not so good. I don't think he handled it especially well but for all we know he could be kicking himself.
However, your follow up posts suggest this isn't the first time he's patronised you- that feeling in your gut is probably there for a reason. Having come out of an abusive relationship myself, I understand it is difficult to trust your instincts though.