Opposite sex close friend

[October03]

Should I be able to be ok with my husband having a close female friend? This is a new friend, they text regularly, go to karate twice a week and go cycling twice a week together. I am really struggling with this, am I being immature?

You've told him how he's making you feel. He's chosen to disregard this and carry on, this tells you exactly how far down his list of priorities you are. He's being so disrespectful.

Time to get your plans in place and leave him, as you said op, no point trying to convince him, he's shown you who he is so when you choose to leave it shouldn't be a shock to him

What an arsehole, you are worth 1000 of him OP.

Fucking hell. That summary by @MsDogLady is devastating. What an absolute c*nt.

@October03 I have felt all along that this is about more than the friendship with this woman. That’s a big part of it. But the bigger picture is the amount of time your H spends away from you and your DCs. He sounds utterly selfish, entitled and a piss-taker who clearly doesn’t give a toss about you or the DCs. I’m glad you’ve recognised that your marriage is over. I think you will need strong support behind you because he’s a bully. Good luck and keep posting here for support.

Hey @October03 I really hope you update us and let us know you’re ok.

So we didn't talk at all yesterday, he went out for a bike ride. Today I found out that she met him on this ride. I confronted him, he lied sonic showed him photo evidence of this lie and told him I want a divorce, took my rings off and moved into the living foom for now.

I am gutted and upset and angry and frustrated at myself but thank you all for this support it really helps, more than you know 🧡

I am so sorry, October. You’ve clearly been in a false reconciliation. He is not committed to fairness, monogamy or honesty.

I agree that it’s impossible to move forward with him. Regardless of any manipulative tactics he uses to get you back in line, he will never be a safe partner.

Please don’t sabotage your momentum by being frustrated at yourself. You gave it your all, and now you see that a new path is crucial for your peace of mind and well-being…and the children’s.

Sending empathy and positive thoughts, October.

Don’t be angry or frustrated with yourself it’s a wasted emotion when you have so much else to deal with. You offered him such a gift after his appalling behaviour and he’s just a terrible person.

Lawyer up and get that loser out of there. What an absolute creep hanging out with that woman while his marriage is on the rocks.

Time to put him firmly in the rear view mirror!

💐

So after the privacy setting incident once again he didn't give a shit, saw her again and lied about it.

You're right OP.

I am gutted and upset and angry and frustrated at myself

Hey - it's ok to feel ALL those things OP.
But not at yourself ... feel them about HIM.
YOU have done nothing wrong.

Put some of that anger into action.
Find a lawyer, get copies of all financial/asset/pension documentation. Put your & DC passports with those copies, & have it all kept safe for you at the lawyer's office, once you have been recommended to a good, experienced one.

Small steps, small progress every day.
Some of the worst of it is now behind you, & your life & wellbeing will improve immensely when you are no longer living with a disrespectful liar.

@October03

I am so sorry to hear he lied and let this woman. He could just tell you the truth but you are so brave.
Just stay strong.
Even you feel like you can't