Keep seeing the same dog walker

[masinfortunelli]

For the past few weeks I've started leaving for work earlier on two specific mornings. My husband leaves for work an hour and a half after I've left.

I know this sounds barking mad but I've noticed on these mornings when I'm leaving, a woman walking her dog up towards our house. I leave at roughly the same time give or take 5 minutes.

Prior to me changing my hours we had passed this woman a handful of times before at the end of the road where we'd stopped to have a quick dog chat. On those times, she always walked straight on after the chat. Now she's turning into our road. Our road isn't busy and doesn't go anywhere particularly nice.

Maybe she fancied a change. It just seems odd to me that I keep seeing her in the same place when I leave. Literally passing our neighbours' house towards ours.

It seemed to start after a morning where I was leaving for work in the car and DH had just taken the dog out and I passed DH and her chatting at the end of the road. Nothing suspicious, just a dog thing where they (the dogs) say hello briefly.

I'm getting vibes but I'm not thinking affair. Reading this back it sounds paranoid I know but something feels off about it. Any advice (short of seeing a shrink)?!

I would probably “forget” something at home once and go back if you see her going in that direction.
But i guess thats crazy since what you describe is most likely nothing. If you have a weird feeling about it though then it wont go away if you dont check it out.

It maybe that the dog walker 'likes' your DH and wants to be in with a chance of bumping into him again, so I don't think you should write off your spidey senses just yet, but try to be aware of what she/he are doing after you've left for work.

As PP said, perhaps you could return home 10 mins later, saying you've forgotten something.

I agree, go back home saying you forgot something. If you don’t discover anything going on, do it another time and say you needed the loo. Seriously, this gives me goosebumps. Ot could be innocent but weirdly coincidental and you are not being paranoid. If they say it’s a doggie play date, I would call BS. Hoping for the best OP.

This was my first thought, Springdaisy.

Once I've driven off there is nowhere to pull over so I would literally have to drive into the next road, turn around, and go back.

If this is what you'd do if you'd genuinely forgot something it wouldn't be that suspicious. Make sure you leave enough time though to see what happens

Drive off, park up in another street, wait for a little bit and walk back to your house. You can always mention that an emergency light came on. But I would check if I had this niggling feeling.

Leave your phone propped up somewhere, recording video, then go back for it?

Thanks for the suggestions and feel a bit better now that I know other people sympathise. Feeling a little less paranoid, I'm wondering now if DH might have suggested a play date for the dogs as he's done this before with other dog walkers as we have a dog friendly garden.

Really great idea above about recording what is or isn’t going on (yet). Just looked up a small nanny cam:

“2022 Hidden Camera Detector - 1080P WiFi Camera for Home Office Security, Indoor Camera with Motion Detection Night Vision,Car Cameras for Surveillance - Size:1.2 x 1.2 x 2.1 inches”

It’s tiny but no idea if there is somewhere you can place it so it won’t be noticed.

That’s why I mentioned a play date earlier in the post, however, having play dates at home in your garden when you are out, apologies for saying this, but that’s looking for trouble. My other half or any male I have had a relationship with in the past, would say it rings alarm bells. You have support here OP, it could be harmless but there is no way I would do that, nor any male I know.

Why the fuck are posters suggesting you set up hidden cameras to spy on your husband because a woman is walking her dog?

By all means go back to retrieve a ‘forgotten’ item, but setting up cameras? I’d be livid if my DP did that to me on a random suspicion that the man up the road was bringing his Labrador in while we had a quick shag, and also pretty concerned for his mental well-being.

Thanks @InquiringMinds I missed your post earlier about play dates.
DH would think nothing about inviting dog owners round but it would be extremely out of character for him not to mention it. I agree it's looking for trouble asking a woman round but DH wouldn't see it like that. He invites all kinds of people. Any age or gender.
The only case I can think of is if he's invited her round thinking I would be there, then realised I won't be there and is too embarrassed to tell her she can't come round?
I'll keep an eye on it and I can make a split second decision about going back having 'forgotten' something when I see her next. It will make me late though but at least I will know.

@masinfortunelli that makes me feel better, probably innocent then. You can tell by my worry for you that I have been through something related to meet ups for dog walkers (however, my ex was not innocent). Your other half sounds like he is just friendly, however, as you don’t know the female dog walker, I am glad you will return and collect something you “forgot”.

Agree! If this was a man thinking of putting recording devices in his wife's house we would all be up in arms!

I thought it was just me wondering what the fuck I was reading.

Agree with this poster.

Yeah, pop back to retrieve a 'forgotten' item. But don't be setting cameras up. Jesus.

I would never set up secret recording devices in our home regardless and I also wouldn't know where to start anyway! But I can understand why some people might do, when they've been cheated on before for instance.
Sorry @InquiringMinds that my post might have been triggering for you. That sounds horrible.

Just pop back. No camera needed.

Why are you cutting it so fine that 2 minutes to drive around the block and see if she's walked on past your house or not will make you late?

Oh god, if this were me I'd be secretly booking a day's annual leave, leave the house as normal, park the car round the corner and walk back incognito to watch the comings and going's. Disguise preferred but not essential

What made you jump to 'affair' as opposed to her just fancying him?

Has he been name dropping?
Has he form for cheating? Or are you feeling vibes that he is up to something?

It is really normal for dog owners to go out the same time every morning and do the same route. My alarm goes off at 5.45, at 6am I take my dogs out. We always do the same 30 minute walk and we usually bump in to roughly the same people. It's not because I am desperate to cheat, I just have a routine.

I'm a self-employed dog walker (and pet sitter etc.) and can honestly say nothing about this sounds suspicious. Sometimes I've changed my walking routes with certain dogs to see if I might bump into friendly local folk that I've met before. It can be lonely just walking all day and not seeing anyone to chat to, so even just seeing someone for a quick "hello, nice weather isn't it!" is nice for me. When I get home it means I can at least say to my partner "I saw John today, he said they're going away to the seaside this weekend!" As opposed to the usual "yeah, been a good day, all the dogs were good, footpaths look the same as they did yesterday" 😂😂 I also try and see certain people when we have dogs that either get on really well and play together or I have a dog that I'm working with that is reactive, and the other person has a super calm dog that doesn't mind mine kicking off sometimes. Obviously if I get the sense the person isn't bothered about me or doesn't like seeing me I don't do it, but I've met many friendly faces who haven't minded stopping for a chat and letting the dogs play, or chatting about how my dog is getting on with training etc. It's been really nice for some of my dogs who don't see other dogs to play with often, or who are reactive and have, over time, gotten used to seeing the same dogs on our walks and have begun to accept them and not see them as a threat. Also nice for me because, as I said before, hours of lone walking can be rather lonely 😂
By all means forget something one morning and pop back, but otherwise I really wouldn't worry.

** To clarify, when I say the other person has a dog that doesn't mind mine "kicking off", I just mean barking and growling from a distance. I never let my reactive dogs off lead or even up close to other dogs.

I'd leave for work as normal but "forget" something. Perfect excuse to come back and see what's going on!

No no no to recording device. Yes to doubling back pretending you have forgotten something.