To not know why he says this stupid thing and how to answer

[OneSugarOneSpoon]

BF of 7 months has this wierd habit of having a conversation with me that goes like this..
Eg . He will say something along the lines of " right I'm going now as I need to collect My daughter" . I'll say " ok" then he will reply " oh great...so you want me to leave then?" Or something similar. Same if he asks do if I mind if he goes playing golf or whatever...I say no..then I get this silly " oh don't you want to be with me then?"

It can be about anything really, but he often does it in relation to his kids ( "Alice wants to sit by me...oh you've let her...don't you want to be next to me then "etc etc)

I've actually started being quite snappy back as I've no idea what he's trying to achieve. Otherwise he is fine , but this totally winds me up.

Any thoughts wise MNetters?

Next time he does it, fall to your knees and beg him to stay/sit next to you, while declaiming theatrically how you can't bear not to be beside him for a second, suggest attaching yourself to him with cable ties and generally outdo the crazy.

Or see this as the red flag that it is and throw him back.

He sounds like a really boring moron.

7 months?

Ick.

He's setting you up to lose.

You've found out why he's single.

Dump him. A relationship shouldn't be like this seven months in.

Dump him and tell him exactly why. You can’t be putting up with this ‘insecure’ nonsense.

it will only get worse. I’m fact, it could be the start of a slippery slope of controlling behaviours.

This is what I was going to say in my answer. Either was it sounds irritating.

If it's the former, he evidently wants the response frim you that you don't want him to go, or you be desperate to be near him. Do you think you can hack spending time with someone so insecure? Constantly having to pander to that?

If it's the latter and he still continues to do it after you've asked him to stop, then that's no positive at all. He thinks his "humour" is so amazing that entertaining himself is more important than the discomfort it causes you. (Or he just doesn't care it does.)

I suppose a third possibility is he resents spending time with his children and wants to stall it or not be near them.

Whatever it is it's not a good prospect. You have no obligation to him so decide is it worth putting up with one of the above to be in a relationship with him.

Have you ever directly asked his why he does it?

What an absolute bore.

I would have dumped him the second time (the first time I would have been incredulous or laughed), THEN told him to grow the fuck up.

So much harshness here. Man has a silly habit that he needs clear communication out of. He's not psychic, it needs coherent and consistent flagging so he can work on stopping it!

This reply only works if the bloke is 5 years old

It’s not up to op to teach a grown man how to behave

He sounds annoying, why are you even bothering?

I couldn't put up with that. I would be bringing it up, telling him how irritating it is and that he needs to knock it off though.

If he doesn't, then balls in your court.

I suspect this won't get better op, only worse x

If you love the guy and he is good in other ways then I would try the sort of brusque humour you use with teens to (a) highlight and (b) eliminate this ridiculous behaviour. Make a noise like a klaxon, every single time he does this, and be humorous but drive it home that you will not be standing for this anymore.

Well it's not on is it, you give the only response any reasonable person would give and he is making out he's offended, or just happy to have a go about nothing.
If you really got upset when he ran errands or went to do his hobby or sat next to his daughter you'd have to be unhinged so he either wants that drama or is just having a go. Either way, he's a dead loss. Picture 40 years of this? No thanks! And that's assuming he doesn't have more of this crap up his sleeve as you get to know him better.

🤣

Passive aggressive bullshit, I can’t stand it, pet hate of mine

I would not tolerate that, in fact, I had an x many years ago who used to "put me on trial," like this. I told him it was over because he told me what my words meant. He was angry and I knew I'd made the right decision. I wonder if he did it to the next woman.

Have you pulled him up directly on this?

Next time he does it just say, ‘can you stop doing this passive aggressive needy response all the time please, it’s irritating and not funny, just go and do xyz and not make a performance out of it’.

Have you told him how very bloody annoying and weird it is? And that it makes him sound like a dick?

101 lesson in emotional manipulation. Shut it down firmly.

God, how tedious.

Like everyone else, he’s either extremely needy and needs constant validation (and that may lead to a concerning place) or thinks he’s funny.

After only 7 months, neither ends well.

Sounds like he thinks he's being funny, but he's got the social skills of a gnat. Just reading your post annoyed me, it's must wind you up no end. There's no real way of answering his comments, other than 'what are you talking about'

Have you asked him why he does it or suggested he pack it in? What was his response if so?

Interesting that all the responses are the same (except one). I’m guessing that we’ve all had the needy, demanding boyfriend and instinctively know that this sort of nonsense is how it starts. It’s presented as humour but it’s nothing to do with that…it’s putting you on the spot and making you feel uncomfortable because you haven’t fawned sufficiently for him.
I bet if you outright told him to stop this shit, he’d be outraged, indignant and berate you for not having a sense of humour. He’ll take the offence he’s been waiting for and it will become a you problem.

If you didn’t think the same, you wouldn’t have raised it as an issue here.
You are right.

Red flag for me, I'd be worried about it escalating. You're not even a year into the relationship! You'll be looking at a man in the wrong way next, or wearing something too "nice" for a night out with friends.... and going out with friends will be a problem—you don't want to spend time with him instead? etc

😂😂

Seriously OP, I’m amazed your fanny hasn’t sewn itself shut. He sounds about 12.

Maybe he doesn’t like that you do whatever you are told 🤷‍♀️ Maybe he is trying to encourage you to speak up for yourself and say no. I had a friend who would let me decide everything, it got really annoying.