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Original poster

Would you get the ick if you were called "boobs"?!

139 replies

Namechange85 · 09/08/2022 09:33

As the title says really. I've been casually dating a guy for around 2 and half months, so far I've had no reason to complain he's been nothing but lovely.

Last night I added a little affectionate word after the goodnight text, nothing heavy, just a welsh word for my darling. He replied with goodnight boobs!!!

It has totally put me off him as I feel that's all I must be to him. Am I overreacting?!

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 09/08/2022 14:39

WaveyHair · 09/08/2022 14:05

Maybe a tad clumsy but it is not as if he does it all the time? Men like boobs,
my partner is very fond of mine and asks after them when away to make sure
i am 'looking after them properly'.

It is a bit of a giggle now & it works two ways as well. He knows never to call me love though - that is just disrespectful.

Again, OP is not in a relationship. It's a man she has been dating for 10 weeks and has probably seen a handful of times in that time.

I send my boyfriend photos when we're not together but I wouldn't do that for a man I'd met a handful of times over the course of a couple of months!

What people.do in an established respectful relationship is not comparable with a few weeks dating.

Frith2013 · 09/08/2022 14:47

Hope you texted, "Morning, prostate gland".

RichardOsmansXraySpecs · 09/08/2022 14:55

Men like boobs,
my partner is very fond of mine and asks after them when away to make sure
i am 'looking after them properly'.

🤮

GreyCarpet · 09/08/2022 14:56

RichardOsmansXraySpecs · 09/08/2022 14:55

Men like boobs,
my partner is very fond of mine and asks after them when away to make sure
i am 'looking after them properly'.

🤮

See I don't have a problem with that - a bit of tongue in cheek juvenile humour with a partner. It's one of the things that bonds you together surely. It might not be to everyone's taste but it works for them.

isthismylifenow · 09/08/2022 15:00

Have you said that you didn't like being referred to that way? If everything else seems to be going OK, perhaps you could just have a conversation about it.

An ex started to call me Babe. Which I didn't like. So I told him. And he didn't use it again. We aren't together anymore, but for other reasons. Sometimes stupid things pop into people's heads. Just see what he says before you go blocking him over it.

TommySaid · 09/08/2022 15:01

I think you’re over thinking things a little but here.

I’d think he was immature but I’d assume it was his way of trying to be funny.

If it happened regularly then it’s different but as a one off in response to you calling him something wouldn’t bother me.

I don’t think it’s disgusting or give any indication that he only wants you for sex.

I personally would forget about it, remember it’s only been 10 weeks and that no one is going to be perfect and if things have been going well so far then it may just be a one off blip.

NRogers · 09/08/2022 15:02

If he made a habit of stuff like that then sure. Run a mile.

But from one single text then it could have been meant in a totally different way from how you took it.

I wouldn't be writing the guy off if it's the only thing he's said or done wrong.

We all make mistakes or say things that we regret. Even more so with texting - it's a dangerous way to communicate.

Lilgamesh2 · 09/08/2022 15:09

If everything is going well don't drop him for this one incident.

Minoloso · 09/08/2022 15:13

I told my boyfriend I didn’t like being called Sweetie, it gave me the ick. Problem solved. Just tell him.

Oopsiedaisyy · 09/08/2022 15:34

I'd have said "what about good night to the rest of me? 😉😂"

I have learnt not to look to be offended, and at least try and initially assume they aren't complete twats

I get good morning gorgeous 🤷‍♀️

houseonthehill · 09/08/2022 15:37

I reckon it's an autocorrect. In any case, you could reply in such a way as to give him that as an 'out'.

AryaStarkWolf · 09/08/2022 15:45

Namechange85 · 09/08/2022 13:04

So he meant boobs!!! Confirmed that as if it was no problem and continued a conversation about something else.

I am so upset, I feel like an idiot for being upset but it's a clear indication of how he feels.

Just not sure what to do now, it's really made me see him in a different light

Have you replied? If it were me I'd probably tell him to never call me that again and leave it at that

AramintaLee · 09/08/2022 16:04

TommySaid · 09/08/2022 15:01

I think you’re over thinking things a little but here.

I’d think he was immature but I’d assume it was his way of trying to be funny.

If it happened regularly then it’s different but as a one off in response to you calling him something wouldn’t bother me.

I don’t think it’s disgusting or give any indication that he only wants you for sex.

I personally would forget about it, remember it’s only been 10 weeks and that no one is going to be perfect and if things have been going well so far then it may just be a one off blip.

I agree with this. I think you're overreacting just a tad. It was definitely clumsy and not at all well thought out, but maybe he panicked and thought it was funny/cute. I don't think you should take it as a sign of how he feels, just that he isn't necessarily very good with words!

I would probably just say when I next him "Really? Boobs? That's the best you could do?" and laugh it off (but making it clear you don't want to be called that again)

If everything up to this point has been good, don't throw it all away over one instance of clumsiness.

GreyCarpet · 09/08/2022 16:11

God, some people really do have low expectations...

Sux2buthen · 09/08/2022 16:21

GreyCarpet · 09/08/2022 16:11

God, some people really do have low expectations...

No they just aren't overreacting to a misjudged comment.
'I'd rather you didn't call me that'
'Ok sorry I won't again'
And that's it

GreyCarpet · 09/08/2022 16:31

Sux2buthen · 09/08/2022 16:21

No they just aren't overreacting to a misjudged comment.
'I'd rather you didn't call me that'
'Ok sorry I won't again'
And that's it

Show quote history

But he thought it acceptable to say it in the first place. That's what would put me off.

Original poster
Namechange85 · 09/08/2022 16:36

I know he definitely wouldn't say it again if he knew it had upset me, he really does seem a lovely guy generally.

But.....the fact I am beginning to care for him and he clearly sees me as just a pair of boobs is a massive issue.

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 09/08/2022 16:40

If this is the first thing like this I'd maybe give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he was flustered by the new term of endearment and panicked a bit making a misjudged comment back. I'd proceed with caution rather than immediately dump if everything else is going well

GreyCarpet · 09/08/2022 16:43

But.....the fact I am beginning to care for him and he clearly sees me as just a pair of boobs is a massive issue.

That's the problem isn't it when people say thoughtless, crass things - it affects how you see and feel about them.

GreyCarpet · 09/08/2022 16:45

liveforsummer · 09/08/2022 16:40

If this is the first thing like this I'd maybe give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he was flustered by the new term of endearment and panicked a bit making a misjudged comment back. I'd proceed with caution rather than immediately dump if everything else is going well

The thing is, after 10 weeks and a handful.of meet ups, she only has how he presents himself to judge him on.

Personally, I wouldn't give the benefit of the doubt nowadays because you invariably end up further down the line, further emotionally invested and with a few more things on the list you've chosen to 'ignore just this once'.

Eloise791 · 09/08/2022 16:49

Namechange85 · 09/08/2022 16:36

I know he definitely wouldn't say it again if he knew it had upset me, he really does seem a lovely guy generally.

But.....the fact I am beginning to care for him and he clearly sees me as just a pair of boobs is a massive issue.

Not sure about this. I think if he just saw you asa pair of boobs then “boobs” is the last thing he’d call you, if that makes sense. If he’s otherwise a nice guy I’d assume it was a misjudged attempt at a jokey compliment.

Joey69 · 09/08/2022 16:50

Again, OP is not in a relationship. It's a man she has been dating for 10 weeks and has probably seen a handful of times in that time.

and for him that person has just called him Boyfriend or Darling or Love, or Sweetheart or whatever, I was him I might be the one doing the rethinking in this situation

2bazookas · 09/08/2022 16:50

Maybe he misunderstood the term you used to him?

KirstenBlest · 09/08/2022 16:51

Cariad isn't 'my darling' it's darling/love/sweetheart/boyfriend/girlfriend depending on context.

My darling is 'nghariad

Joey69 · 09/08/2022 16:58

darling/love/sweetheart/boyfriend/girlfriend

even worse…, no wonder he is trying to put her off a bit.