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Original poster

Why would he be wearing his 'sexy' underwear to work?

396 replies

Excuses5000 · 04/08/2022 22:14

I've NC for this as it's embarrassing.

So my partner works nights in a manual labour job and always has done. Tonight before he left he bent down to give our DD a kiss goodnight and I noticed he was wearing certain underwear.

He only ever wears that underwear when sex is on the cards. He bought it entirely for my benefit or so I thought. It doesn't do much for me to be honest as I'm not particularly into extravagant pants but there we go.

They're not 'everyday' boxers and definitely not the sort of thing you'd want on display to your colleagues which would definitely be the case as there's alot of bending and lifting in his job. Think moving boxes etc.

It took me by surprise so I asked him why he was wearing his "sexy" underwear to work. He said "I'm not" to which I replied that I'd just seen them.

He was tripping over himself to explain how its because they're comfortable and airy. He sweats alot at work and gets hot. He then went on to say that he had put a towel in his bag aswell to use to wipe his head and face when he gets too hot.

Based on my OP alone would you find it suspicious?

OP posts:
Kerrrmieee · 05/08/2022 03:06

Man says he prefers wearing those pants and has been wearing more of the same all week.
Sure enough said other pants of same sexy type have been washed and are now drying.
99% MN he's cheating!!!
I don't see it.

Maybe he still feels on edge about whatever happened years ago and feels the need to overcompensate to alleviate your fears and his past guilt.

I can't see that he's done anything wrong.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 05/08/2022 03:14

ExplodingCarrots · 04/08/2022 22:50

@Decidualcast I didn't know they were a thing either until I saw another thread on here . If my DH appeared wearing them my nethers would glue shut .

Mine too. I'd also feel uncomfortable if someone was regularly bending over at work and I could see their see through mesh boxers 🤢. H has 'sexy' briefs, they're so not a turn on.

possiblypassable · 05/08/2022 03:40

OP, just wanted to wish you good luck and say this: Don't let him make you feel guilty with his "sad face" selfies. It's not your fault you found it suspicious. His past indiscretions may be in the past (and I hope they are), but they happened. He did that. It's only to be expected that you'll feel a twinge of doubt when he behaves oddly. His stumbling over himself to explain the pants and towel makes him sound guilty, but it could be a natural result of residual guilt over the past. I hope he doesn't give you further cause for worry.

DulceMama1977 · 05/08/2022 03:41

He's either cheated on you or about to. Someone's on his radar and it's not you...

Cakeandcoffee93 · 05/08/2022 04:04

He’s not cheating on you at all- I think he’s being genuine and he’s panicking and terrified of losing you because he’s done it in the past. He wouldn’t of answered his phone and sent pics- there’s no way you’d be messaging someone if you was playing with someone else. You’d ignore your phone- he’s just being shady with his explanations. Regardless of if it’s freeJng down isles it’s sweaty work especially at night- I feel bad for you both. Trust issues from the past and he knows now what he will lose, he’s a buffoon for wearing them but he has got a point about them being cooler and not sweaty. Be honest would be really be wearing that underwear- like a woman would give a shit at work- if he was going with her? If he was seeing someone before work fair enough. There’s no way he’s doing someone else - but I understand your suspicions.

Cakeandcoffee93 · 05/08/2022 04:05

I actually feel bad for him- and you.

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 05/08/2022 04:36

This is the main reason why few relationships survive an affair. The mistrust never ever goes away completely. He’s got form, and it’s irrelevant weather he’s doing it now or not, the doubt is there. His fault, his decision to cheat in the past, unfortunately now, even if he is innocent, you believe he’s cheating again. Sounds a miserable way to live

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 05/08/2022 04:39

I'm on the fence. His behaviour is suspicious, but mostly in light of his past behaviour. None of the things you've said would have made me think my H was cheating, but because your DP has cheated before that's always going to be the fear when he does anything out of the ordinary. He could be cheating, he could also be being completely genuine and worried you'll decide his cheating and he'll lose you. It's impossible to say. None of this is your fault though, he's earnt those suspicions with his past behaviour. I hope he acknowledges that and doesn't try to make you feel guilty for suspecting him of cheating again.

Nugg · 05/08/2022 04:55

Aquamarine1029 · 04/08/2022 22:51

He has cheated on me in the past.

And there it is. I'm sorry, op, once a cheat always a cheat.

Not true.

PrayTell · 05/08/2022 05:23

Yes, this is ALL mighty suspicious! 😳

lemmein · 05/08/2022 05:34

This thread's barmy. Imagine a female poster saying her DH had caught a glimpse of her 'sexy' pants before work and is now demanding pictures of her workplace 😳

He was probably just embarrassed having to explain he was wearing them 'cos he gets sweaty bollocks at work...some things are just private!

Christinatheastonishing · 05/08/2022 05:40

lemmein · 05/08/2022 05:34

This thread's barmy. Imagine a female poster saying her DH had caught a glimpse of her 'sexy' pants before work and is now demanding pictures of her workplace 😳

He was probably just embarrassed having to explain he was wearing them 'cos he gets sweaty bollocks at work...some things are just private!

If the poster added in the fact that a) she immediately denied she was wearing them even though he could plainly see them and b) she'd cheated on him before, that might put a different spin on things.

jammiewhammie65 · 05/08/2022 05:43

lemmein · 05/08/2022 05:34

This thread's barmy. Imagine a female poster saying her DH had caught a glimpse of her 'sexy' pants before work and is now demanding pictures of her workplace 😳

He was probably just embarrassed having to explain he was wearing them 'cos he gets sweaty bollocks at work...some things are just private!

I really disagree and I think you are being unfair by letting the op actually think this is innocent. I would bet anything in it. Along with the crawling text after and the fact he has cheated on her In the past aswell. Come on ! Op so sorry you need to check his phone

jammiewhammie65 · 05/08/2022 05:46

Cakeandcoffee93 · 05/08/2022 04:04

He’s not cheating on you at all- I think he’s being genuine and he’s panicking and terrified of losing you because he’s done it in the past. He wouldn’t of answered his phone and sent pics- there’s no way you’d be messaging someone if you was playing with someone else. You’d ignore your phone- he’s just being shady with his explanations. Regardless of if it’s freeJng down isles it’s sweaty work especially at night- I feel bad for you both. Trust issues from the past and he knows now what he will lose, he’s a buffoon for wearing them but he has got a point about them being cooler and not sweaty. Be honest would be really be wearing that underwear- like a woman would give a shit at work- if he was going with her? If he was seeing someone before work fair enough. There’s no way he’s doing someone else - but I understand your suspicions.

He probably was not even going to work he was making out he was going to work ! Got rumbled shit himself then decided he better actually go to work !

Nugg · 05/08/2022 05:47

I don't think he's cheating, maybe he was embarrassed or maybe he's got a crush - could be male or female, let's face it!

Embarrassment can cause over explaining too, in the absence of any other sign or evidence I'd just be vigilant and not assume anything tbh.

Ophanim · 05/08/2022 05:48

Cakeandcoffee93 · 05/08/2022 04:04

He’s not cheating on you at all- I think he’s being genuine and he’s panicking and terrified of losing you because he’s done it in the past. He wouldn’t of answered his phone and sent pics- there’s no way you’d be messaging someone if you was playing with someone else. You’d ignore your phone- he’s just being shady with his explanations. Regardless of if it’s freeJng down isles it’s sweaty work especially at night- I feel bad for you both. Trust issues from the past and he knows now what he will lose, he’s a buffoon for wearing them but he has got a point about them being cooler and not sweaty. Be honest would be really be wearing that underwear- like a woman would give a shit at work- if he was going with her? If he was seeing someone before work fair enough. There’s no way he’s doing someone else - but I understand your suspicions.

I understand why you mean. I’m not 100% convinced he’s cheating either.

Ophanim · 05/08/2022 05:49

what

lemmein · 05/08/2022 06:00

I really disagree and I think you are being unfair by letting the op actually think this is innocent. I would bet anything in it. Along with the crawling text after and the fact he has cheated on her In the past aswell. Come on ! Op so sorry you need to check his phone

😂 I'M being unfair 'letting' the OP think this is innocent - seriously? This is someone's life, not Eastenders. You don't know he's guilty any more than I know he's innocent - unfair ffs! 🙄

autienotnaughty · 05/08/2022 06:07

Unless you have another re reason to be suspicious I'd assume he's wearing them because he's hot.?

Blackheath95 · 05/08/2022 06:11

Nothing at all suspicious about wrapping a towel or tea towel around a water bottle. I live in a hot country and routinely do this.

KyaClark · 05/08/2022 06:12

What I don't understand is, his reason sounds totally plausible, but why did he deny wearing them in the first place?

lemmein · 05/08/2022 06:18

Plus the OP has said there was other pairs of these boxers in the wash - so, what - he's been shagging the OW all week and left his 'sex pants' in the laundry for the OP to see? Seems unlikely.

I can understand the OP being suspicious considering his past, but those on here who have goaded her through the night, even suggesting she should wake her children and go to his workplace - fucking madness, this is her real life.

I hope you managed to get some sleep OP.

Blackheath95 · 05/08/2022 06:19

Maybe the simple answer is he was embarrassed. He finds the “sexy undies” the most comfortable to where to work. Not everything always has a deeper meaning.

cantthinkofabetterusername · 05/08/2022 06:22

The thing is, if he IS cheating then he's going to know you're suspicious so will cover his tracks better. I agree with a pp keep quiet for now but do some digging.
I don't know if he's cheating or not, I wouldn't be suspicious if my partner wore pants like that, I have 'sexy' underwear that I wear to work and I'm not having an affair.
My dp will text me similar to how yours has if he thinks he's pissed me off, it's his way of trying to smooth things over.
I do agree though that because he's done it before the mistrust will always linger in the background. If you don't trust him then cheating or not your relationship won't work

JustKittenAround · 05/08/2022 07:12

If it was innocent then why did he try to lie?

why did he tell her he wasn’t wearing something and she had to press on and say she saw it?

why gaslight if it’s about comfort or what have you? Why try to question her reality!?

Guy is guilty. If it was about support or whatever for his junk he wouldn’t have lied straight away, they have children and have been through things.., it’s not like he was a being bashful. He literally had another woman and OP forgave him. There is no room for any bashful BS

He was gaslighting when he made you say you saw what you saw. That’s textbook bullshit.