DP not ready to get married

[Cocopogo]

We have been together 4 years, engaged for 6 months. I want to get married next year as my mum is unwell and I don’t want her to be too poorly or worse. DP insists we get married in 3 years time because he’s not ready now.
He has form for saying he’ll do stuff at some later date and then when that time comes quicker than he realised, backing out.
He says we can’t afford to get married next year but it’s him that wants a big wedding, I’m not interested in all the fuss I just want my family there.

That’s awful, OP. Yes, he is messing with you.

So often women think that enmeshing their lives with men will make men more likely to marry them. It doesn’t. It makes men less likely to marry them. Three years’ time?! He must think you are a mug. And that isn’t nice.

Have a party at the venue in three years time. But book a slot at the registry office as soon as possible.

Yes he is.

What's keeping you there?

Yes he is .
He's just saying what he thinks will shut you up for a bit.

He does not want to marry you and I seriously doubt he'll want to marry you in three years.

He's also a cheater who treats you like shit.

He doesn't seem worth it tbh.

The thing is, you think your mum wants to see you get married. I expect she does, but only to the right man. Does she know the full extent of how badly he treats you? A wedding to the wrong man is far far worse than no wedding at all. And he's definitely the wrong man, even if he marched with you down to the registry office tomorrow, he's still the wrong man.

He is messing with you. DP and I were together for 7 years before he proposed - due to circumstances on both sides neither of us were sure we wanted marriage. At the 7 year mark he asked to chat and said he changed his mind and would like to get married and asked if I was open to the idea. He proposed less than a month later. We had a break to enjoy being engaged for a couple months before we decided to chat about when we want to marry and his ideal date was 6 months later.Your 'D'P isn't ready. He's told you that and he's showing you that with his actions. He cheated on you, proposed because he knew thats the only thing that would get you back and shut you up, and has zero intention of following through. If you told your mum the way he was treating you she wouldn't want you to marry him.