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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help! HE WONT LEAVE....

114 replies

curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 12:50

Last night I came back from a friend with the kids. Went there to so my 2 kids could play with other kids and just do something for them..
For the past last week we have organised to take all the kids and some other friends of my friends to drive to Great Yarmouth. Today were the day we were suppose to go. I have told my kids father about this in got time by the way. so no excuses...

When I came home last night in time with the only car in the household so he could go to work is attitude was off.. He didn't say nothing to me.. just spoke with kids and asked them if the played and had fun.. they said YES OF COURSE!

I asked him if he still was good for the trip in the morning..
HES STARTED TO SHOUT AND WAS RUDE TELL ME OFF. LIKE WHY DID I TAKE THE CAR AND DROVE TO MY FRIEND. LIKE ME HAVING THE CAR HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE..HE STARTED TO SAY ALL KIND OF THINGS THAT THE CAR IS HIS AND STARTED TO TALK ABOUT THAT I WILL NEVER DRIVE THE CAR AGAIN.. SO BASICALLY HE SAID NO TO THE BEACH TRIP TO GREAT YARMOUTH..

HE LEFT FOR WORK AND I SAT IN MY KITCHEN STARTED TO PACKING HIS STUFF.. MY SON WENT TO BED DISAPPOINTED. SAID TO ME , MUM IS NOT JUST DADS CAR IS ALL OF US CAR.. THAT BROKE ME..
I JUST THOUGHT TO MYSELF LOOK AT THIS PERSON BREAKING HIS TWO KIDS HEART TO SPIT ME TO TAKE THEM SOMEWHERE THAT I ORGANISED SO THEY CAN DO SOMETHING DUIRNG HOLIDAY..
I TOLD HIM IF THAT IS YOUR CAR TAKE IT AND TAKE YOUR BELONGINGS WITH YOU.. I RANG HIM BY THE WAY WHILST HE WAS AT WORK DURING THE NIGHT.. HE HANG UP THE PHONE ON ME..

I RANG MY FRIEND TO TELL HER WHAT HAD HAPPENED SHE WAS GUTTED FOR ME AND SPECIALLY FOR THE KIDS.. NOW THEY HAVE LOST OUT ON A GREAT EXPERIENCE BECAUSE THE FATHER TO MY KIDS IS CHILDISH AND PETTY..

AFTER I PACKED HIS BELONGINGS AND HE CAME HOME THIS MORNING HE CAME HOME AND SAW EVERYTHING OUTSIDE HE CAME IN TO SAY THAT I NEED TO BRING HIS STUFF BACK INSIDE BEFORE HE GETS REALLY MAD.. I SAID NO IS NOTHING HERE FOR YOU ANYMORE.. HE HUFFED AND PUFFED WOKE THE KIDS UP AT 6AM TELLING THEM TO GET READY. HE BACKED THEIR SWIMMING GEAR AND FEW TOWLS AND TOLD THE KIDS TO WAKE ME UP.. I DONT KNOW WHY BECAUSE HIS ELDEST SONE WHO IS NEARLY 6 HEARD EVERYTHING HE SAID.. ANY WAYS LONG STORY SHORT.. HE ENDEND TELLING OUR SON LOOK AT YOUR MUM SHE HAS LET YOU DOWN BECAUSE SHE DONT WANT TO COME TO THE BEACH.. I MEAN WTF IS THIS GUY FOR REAL???

I EXPLined to my son the best way I could and then he took the kids clothes of because is not me who let them down is HIM.....I AM SICK OF THE BAD SICKENING POISONOUS HE IS AND I WANT HIM OUT.. I ASKED him why IS HE still in the house, he looked at me and said nothing... the kids ended go to sleep. for a bit and he his a sleep on the sofa.. I DONT WANT THIS GUY IN MY HOUSE NO MORE.. I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO????? HE DONT WANT TO DO NOTHING WITH THEM OR SPEND TIME WITH THEM. I AM TIERD OF HIM BEING HERE AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME... I WANT HIM OUT!!!! I WAS HAPPY TAKING MY KIDS ON MY OWN.. BUT I FELT HIS PETTYINESS HE DONT WANT ME TO DO NOTHING LIKE I NEED A PERMISSION TO TAKE MY KIDS. SO THERE FOR HE IS GOING LIKE THIS OVER A DAME CAR... THATS TOTALLY TOLD ME EVERYTHING I KNEW ALREADY....

PLEASE HELP...

OP posts:
BMW6 · 23/07/2022 13:03

Are you married, is the house jointly owned or rented, who is on the tenancy agreement?

He may be entitled to stay depending on the above answers. Start with the legalities.

Original poster
curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:06

BMW6 · 23/07/2022 13:03

Are you married, is the house jointly owned or rented, who is on the tenancy agreement?

He may be entitled to stay depending on the above answers. Start with the legalities.

NO WE ARE NOT MARRIED. THE TENANCY IS IN MY NAME. CAR IS HIS..THATS IT..

OP posts:
alwaysmovingforwards · 23/07/2022 13:09

So kick him out and buy a cheap car - two birds with one stone.

Pinkflipflop85 · 23/07/2022 13:11

Is your caps lock broken...

BMW6 · 23/07/2022 13:12

IN THAT CASE HE HAS NO LEGAL RIGHTS TO STAY. IF HE STILL WONT LEAVE CALL THE POLICE.

Petrolordiesel · 23/07/2022 13:12

Has he also taken the only keyboard without CAPs? Make him give it back.

TabithaTittlemouse · 23/07/2022 13:14

Sorry if I’ve misunderstood (it is quite hard to read) but this mostly played out in front of your children. That is not okay.

Aprilx · 23/07/2022 13:16

Is the drama of packing his bags really necessary in front of your children? You both seem a bit volatile from your post.

over50andfab · 23/07/2022 13:19

Please stop posting with capitals locked on. When written this is regarded as shouting.

As you have kids together perhaps both take some time to calm down and then you can talk more calmly and see what you both want to do. It doesn’t help to have the kids in the middle of your argument.

if you’re not married and decide to split you’ll have to consider who owns what and also the best interests of your DC.

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 23/07/2022 13:20

This poor woman is distressed. Posters should not be shaming her typing style.

Crunchygrass · 23/07/2022 13:23

Petrolordiesel · 23/07/2022 13:12

Has he also taken the only keyboard without CAPs? Make him give it back.

Sorry @curlygirl84 but if you could take the caps lock off that really would help readability.

I’m sorry you’re going through this is sounds like a nightmare, this is a very abusive man and anyone would be driven mad by this behaviour. You need to take control of the situation, first by taking care of yourself, whatever that looks like to you just do, and then you need to contact Women’s Aid for some advice. You need to kick him out, not sure how you do that, hopefully womens aid can help or point you in the right direction. Are you safe? If you fear for your safety at all, consider finding somewhere else to stay temporarily if at all possible. You will get through this, one step at a time, keep moving forward. This probably needs to be the end for you and him but make sure you do it calmly and as safely as possible.

Homewardbound2022 · 23/07/2022 13:24

Petrolordiesel · 23/07/2022 13:12

Has he also taken the only keyboard without CAPs? Make him give it back.

😂

Original poster
curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:25

alwaysmovingforwards · 23/07/2022 13:09

So kick him out and buy a cheap car - two birds with one stone.

yes thats definitely the goal... thanks

OP posts:
over50andfab · 23/07/2022 13:25

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 23/07/2022 13:20

This poor woman is distressed. Posters should not be shaming her typing style.

Some people have sight impairment where they might have to type in capitals. If so it would help if the OP were to clarify this.

Original poster
curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:30

over50andfab · 23/07/2022 13:25

Some people have sight impairment where they might have to type in capitals. If so it would help if the OP were to clarify this.

Show quote history

YES I AM VISUAL IMPAIRED THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT...XX

OP posts:
Original poster
curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:32

over50andfab · 23/07/2022 13:19

Please stop posting with capitals locked on. When written this is regarded as shouting.

As you have kids together perhaps both take some time to calm down and then you can talk more calmly and see what you both want to do. It doesn’t help to have the kids in the middle of your argument.

if you’re not married and decide to split you’ll have to consider who owns what and also the best interests of your DC.

SORRY IF I DONE SOMETHING YOU WONT LIKE...I AM HERE TO PLEASE PPL JUST TO GET SUPPORT. I AM VISUAL IMPAIRED SO IM NOT SHOUTING. I AM VERY CALM JUST TRYING TO EXPRESS MYSELF..

OP posts:
Original poster
curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:33

Aprilx · 23/07/2022 13:16

Is the drama of packing his bags really necessary in front of your children? You both seem a bit volatile from your post.

I PACKED HIS BAGS LAST NIGHT WHEN THE KIDS WHERE A SLEEP..
HE WONT LEAVE..JUST SLEEPING LIKE THIS IS SOME HOTEL...

OP posts:
Original poster
curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:34

curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:32

SORRY IF I DONE SOMETHING YOU WONT LIKE...I AM HERE TO PLEASE PPL JUST TO GET SUPPORT. I AM VISUAL IMPAIRED SO IM NOT SHOUTING. I AM VERY CALM JUST TRYING TO EXPRESS MYSELF..

Show quote history

SORRY I MEANT NOT PLEASE PLEASE PPL

OP posts:
Original poster
curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:35

BMW6 · 23/07/2022 13:12

IN THAT CASE HE HAS NO LEGAL RIGHTS TO STAY. IF HE STILL WONT LEAVE CALL THE POLICE.

I DONT WANT THE KIDS TO SEE THEM...I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT...BUT HOW DO I DO IT WITHOUT THE KIDS BEING THERE...??

OP posts:
Cantthinkofausername01 · 23/07/2022 13:35

BMW6 · 23/07/2022 13:12

IN THAT CASE HE HAS NO LEGAL RIGHTS TO STAY. IF HE STILL WONT LEAVE CALL THE POLICE.

🤣🤣

Original poster
curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:36

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 23/07/2022 13:20

This poor woman is distressed. Posters should not be shaming her typing style.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.. I DONT REALLY CARE ABOUT THOSE WHO ARE IN HERE SHAMING MY TYPING STYLE. THATS THE LEAST OF MY CONCERNS...XX

OP posts:
Crunchygrass · 23/07/2022 13:39

curlygirl84 · 23/07/2022 13:30

YES I AM VISUAL IMPAIRED THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT...XX

Show quote history

Ah makes sense apologies @curlygirl84

CAN YOU CALL ANYONE WHO CAN HELP GET HIM OUT?
PERHAPS THE POLICE CAN ADVISE YOU?
DO YOU HAVE MALE RELATIVES WHO COULD COME AROUND FOR BACK UP?

midairchallenger · 23/07/2022 13:40

All caps is difficult to read. It increases the cognitive load because the words no longer have shapes and you have to read each letter rather than the whole word.

People aren't shaming anyone to say it is difficult to read. It is. It is an evidence based statement.

BlanketsBanned · 23/07/2022 13:42

Pack his bags
Phone the police to chuck him out
Change the locks on the door, take his keys.

Cambsm · 23/07/2022 13:44

Can you ask your friend to come and get the children and then tell him again (and email and text it to him) that you wish for him to leave your house. That if he hasn’t left by xyz time you will have to call the police.

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