Would you have a baby with a man who was shit with money...

[Mahanii]

..but that was the only negative point you had found so far? A man who was in debt and seemingly had no concrete plan of getting himself out of it? Who was self employed and didn't seem to know how to maximise his income? Whose dad still bought him food every few weeks? It's quite a big negative point I know.

No. I wouldn't.

No - children need things and it is hard to see them go without.

Absolutely not. Kids cost a fortune so someone who isn't financially solvent is not good father material. Also I find a grown adult who can't manage their own finances quite repulsive so would probably not even have sex with someone like you descrive

So you would be paying for absolutely everything? Er no.

A friend of mine did. It didn't end well.

What if you were really good with money and kept your finances completely separate so his could never affect yours?

No. Kids cost money, and a man who is unable to manage money is likely to be all that great at managing the myriad other essential life admin tasks associated with a family.

No way

Nope.

And who pays for your shared child? Just you? Who pays for the house you presumably live in together? Just you?

Absolutely not.

No no, no no nono, no no nono, nooooooooooo. No. Not a good idea. At all.

You'd be lying to yourself if you think his finances would never impact you. You'd have to be insane to have a baby with such an irresponsible man. You really don't think this level of immaturity and fuckwittery doesn't translate into other areas of his life? Of course it does. Raise your standards and don't burden a child with that man as their father.

Not in a million years. I also wouldn't marry or buy a house with a man like that.

No. Actually I wouldn't even be in a relationship with such a man, unless he was showing genuine signs of turning it around. Money is a huge deal breaker for me.

No. Kids need good role models and values as well as material things.

Plus I’d find it way too stressful and I would imagine you’d be called upon to sort out his issues which would take time and attention away from the kids. my kids deserve better than that

I hear you all, I really do, but what if your desire for one more child outweighs all those points?
(I'm already a single parent and I love being one)

Not a chance.

I wouldn't even be in a relationship with someone like that. We wouldn't have the same priorities.

So what you really want is a sperm donor? This guy sounds like thats all he really has to offer. All the novelty will dissapear and you will be left with a child, no money and someone who knows you are a mug.

How about you tell him to sort himself out and come back when he has. My guess is he wont.

Absolutely not.

I wouldn't dream of inflicting a waster of a father on a child.

What you are suggesting is having a child with a child whose father is still feeding him.

Why would you even consider that?

It reeks of absolute desperation that you will pay dearly for, and deeply regret.

Don't do it.

No

What if you were really good with money and kept your finances completely separate so his could never affect yours?

Not even if he said that he was getting his shit together and it wasn't his fault, and it's just how it is at the moment and it won't always be like this. When you have a baby with a man and he goes on the birth certificate you are tied to that man for life, and the point you seem to be missing is so is your child. What does he need to do to convince you this is a terrible idea, does he need a tshirt saying Shit Dad?

You can try to keep your finances seperate, but you will be linked with him forever and your life will be impacted by each and every shit choice he makes. Any man who can't afford food every few weeks so his dad has to buy it for him is not a good option for having a baby with.

Jesus Christ NO. It would be a source of endless stress and challenge. You'd be better off just buying some sperm.

Then slap yourself about the face and tell your stupid hormones to wise the fuck up.

Then you're looking for a sperm donor, not someone to have a child with

No. He can't look after himself, never mind a baby. And having a baby would connect you to him - you'd likely end up having him to care for as well as the baby.

Why add that stress to your life?