Would you have a baby with a man who was shit with money...

[Mahanii]

..but that was the only negative point you had found so far? A man who was in debt and seemingly had no concrete plan of getting himself out of it? Who was self employed and didn't seem to know how to maximise his income? Whose dad still bought him food every few weeks? It's quite a big negative point I know.

Once you have a child together (or live together) your finances can never be completely separate.

You can each manage your own income, but you still need him to reliably pay his share

No. In fact when I was in my last fertile years and met someone who was virtually bankrupt (think he was after we ended), I deliberately chose not to take it further/seriously as no way could I see him affording a baby or me struggling to afford one. I did like him a lot though.

No. What happens if you are made redundant/get sick/child has a serious illness etc? What happens when you have no finances and you are dependent on him?

Lots of women end up having to single parent or end up with a shit father of their kids but most of them didn't know it was going to turn out that way or have advanced warning.

I don't believe it's his only flaw either. His father buys him food.....how is that even attractive?

Nope.
You say he's shit with money, so assume he's unable or unwilling to budget based on what he earns, or he's on minimum wage, or a gambler?
Still nope!

Are you in a stable career with a great income? If you buy a house in your own name and don't get married, and he moves in with you, would he be a great stay at home dad for 18 years (pottering at his unprofitable business in his spare time rather than wasting time on it). Would his stay at home dad capabilities extend to cooking and cleaning etc?

He'd have to have a lot of other really great qualities... Saving you ever having to pay for nursery fees etc is an absolute essential... But how reliable could the arrangement be long term?

If his dad was bank rolling his weekly shop then in addition to being bad with money, his self respect was also pretty shit. I suspect ‘being bad with money’ is a cop out and he will use it to never really take responsibility for his actions. Not the type of father you would inflict on a child.

His good points would soon be overshadowed by the myriad of issues that accompany ’being bad with money’.

If your already pregnant unfortunately it's guna get even harder for u without having to look after him too.
My dd is now 6 left her dad when she was 9 months as he was precisely shit with money. Kept quitting jobs, never holding one down, sooo much debt and now 6 years later he hasn't paid me a penny for her. He can't even afford (or won't) buy her underwear. Obviously I make sure she won't go without but she has two parents. No one is Perfect no but money is a
Means to every day life and your child will
Suffer as a result. Take it from me ITS NOT ENOUGH & find someone else xx

The self-employed and not knowing how to maximise his income wouldn't really bother me. Someone stuck in a debt cycle with terrible spending habits will.

No I wouldn't

It will impact on you, with a child you can’t separate yourself enough or get him to pay his share. Imagine he doesn’t have enough money for his share of the nursery, will “owe” his share of the pram, claims he had no cash and it’s his turn to buy nappies etc

A sperm donor would be a better way to go practically, at least that way you know that you wouldn’t get any financial support

Why would you choose to shackle yourself to a loser for life?

Sperm donation would be far preferable. At least then you won't have the stress of having to deal with a waste of space man.

Nope. It will only get worse. Don’t bring a child into this situation, they deserve better.

Do you live with him?

Make more sense to use a sperm donor so there are no expectations on him to be a father. You’ll be resentful of him not stepping up financially and also may feel you need to bankroll him because you’re now a ‘family’.

If you are serious about having another child, then keep him as a boyfriend not a partner.

No - please don’t.

To answer the original question, probably not.

Not a fucking chance. I wouldn’t even entertain a relationship with someone like that. Pathetic.

I fell pregnant at 17 to a 16 year old boy, he obviously had no money and he's never been involved. Also doesn't pay child maintenance. Now been with someone for 7 years who also doesn't have a job and is practically homeless, and I definitely won't ever intend on having kids with him unless he woke up one day and decided to change his life for the better. But I'm also jobless, so to make it fair I don't go for men with jobs as they tend to like women on the same level. I doubt I'd ever get to know what that's like either

Being shit with money normally goes hand in hand with being scattered, disorganised, poor impulse control, not facing up to things. He may be really fun and nice but not someone to enter into a parenting situation with for 18+ years .. you will end up mothering him too

I don't know how old you are now (at least mid-20s), but surely you've had a job at some point, even if not right now? Do you believe that you're not worthy of either a job or a partner with a job?

I agree with this. He's unlikely to make a solid, dependable stay at home parent.

No I've never been employed. I'm disabled and wouldn't do well in a pressured, working environment but I'm looking into starting a little business at some point. My own mum didn't get her first job until mid 40s, and she struggled with healthy relationships, so I gather it's just what I've been raised to believe

You need to weigh up supporting another child on your income and potentially supporting another adult the same.

Personally I wouldn't be happy being with someone who wasn't self supporting nor stepping up for his own child, not a good role model as a parent. Your children may grow up thinking only one person needs to carry the financial burden whilst the other remains dependent which could cause them a lot of relationship misery if they repeat this.

The point is that if you live together and have a child together your finances will be entangled. You will end up paying everything related to your mutual child and then comes the day where he can't afford his part of the rent. Only temporary, mind you. Next month he will. Except he doesn't pay next month either nor the next. And then it is his mother's birthday but he is a bit short this month and she does turn 60 and will get really hurt if she doesn't get a present and you do like her, don't you? Don't you?How long will you be funding him before you pull the plug?

Being shit with money normally goes hand in hand with being scattered, disorganised, poor impulse control, not facing up to things. He may be really fun and nice but not someone to enter into a parenting situation with for 18+ years

This is true. He's a lot of fun, has many really good qualities, but is all the things you've listed.

No we don't live together, I wouldn't even call him my partner.