If your DH/partner had an affair, did she look like you?

[Byronalso]

Soon to be ex DH had an affair for 2 years. We are British Indian, medical professionals, very close to our families, just a normal family (or so I thought)

Exs affair partner was a white British woman, tattooed, single mother. No hate for her, I blame him but I’m struck that he couldn’t have gone more opposite to me if he had tried. I don’t know if it would hurt less if she was a carbon copy of me or if it’s better we are completely different (well I’m now a single mother so not that different).

If you saw/met the other woman was she like you? Did you prefer it that way?

My dh’s affair was much younger, polar opposite to me in lots of ways - she’s got lots of tattoos, pierced, lots of make up, swears a lot, loud “in your face” type. A lot of things he professes still to hate.

I can’t see he’d have had a public real relationship with her that would have lasted but I get what appealed - she was happy to walk around with no knickers on at work / have risky sex at work / send explicit photos etc etc - a bit of a fantasy woman in a sex way

I have been on dates with men (online) who l found out normally after date 1 were still married and moonlighting as single.

I was gobsmacked to look them up and find their wives were NOTHING like me - 1. Different race 2. Both superior jobs (one was a just about to be a doctor) 3. Much fitter (one was into the muddy runners) 4. Both looked like super models.

I couldn't understand why they would want to cheat.

Most men who are in relationships looking for extra I find have successful, fit and beautiful women already.