Female Dating Strategy?

[deskdreams]

Has anyone looked at this website / forum / podcast? Its sort of like a female answer to red pill, pick up artist, misogyny. Its certainly seen as quite a toxic online space and the langauge about men is quite grim but at the same time after having a read and listen to what they say I think their is pertient information. I've been unlucky enough to encounter pua and players who pretty ruthlessly target women in dating apps looking for easy sex and they will say and so pretty much anything to get it and will clearly even target women they don't even like much if they think she is likely to put out or they have techniques about how to isolate women and break her so that the women will be submissive to them.

I think its potentially useful to have a guide for inexperienced women (like myself) that helps alert them to this sort of thing although I also did find the misandry and the way they evaluate men to be quite harsh. I did think it was a useful perspective though even if I wouldn't want to take it all on board.

Anyone else looked into it?

Exactly, there is nothing wrong with standards at all. But I think some of the FDS disciples seem to construe Misandry as standards

'Standards' is used very flexibly when it comes to FDS, though. It seems to incorporate values and expectations, but also demands and entitlement. It's the latter that often sounds a bit incel/femcel.

I think FDS is BRILLIANT. I read it before I started OLD (when still on Reddit), then I met someone and overinvested.

I re-read it last year and followed their dictates strictly and I've had so much success OLD (maybe too much). I have met amazing men who treat me like a queen (haven't decided which one is my favourite yet). I'm 50 and divorced

@Anotheronebitesthebust just reading through this thread, I’m new to all of
this. What is the name of the podcast you found helpful? Sorry if this should be obvious!

The Female Dating Strategy

Is the podcast... sorry won't let me quote you with a quote in already....

same here.

Google the FDS handbook. It lays out their philosophy and their views and their ideology. It is damaging to men and women.

They have been deemed a hate group in many places with their forums banned for good reason. But if you are into hate groups, then they might be for you.

Google the FDS handbook. It lays out their philosophy and their views and their ideology. It is damaging to men and women.

I found it and must admit that I was a bit disturbed to find this:

1. Generous men are a non-negotiable.

While we believe in having your own career and making your own money, a man still has to add financial value to your life and make you feel like he can take care of you. This means not splitting the bill and not dating financially challenged men

Rough translation; only date men who earn more than you do and get everything you can from them.

Seems to be some of the fuzzy thinking associated with aspects of modern feminism.

I want to be an independent woman that makes my own money and needs no man. Oh but if need be I expect to be provided for if needed...

Fine be a traditionalist or take the independent female route. But please choose a route and stick to it...

Wow, some kittens coming out of that ideology are quite something. It makes me remember when I once joined a forum for people who didn't have children and ended up leaving it because lots of the members had become quite cultish, "defending" the childfree life to the death as if it was a religion, and using specific ridiculous terminology for people who had children ("childed people"), children themselves ("ankle-biters") and people with no children who didn't agree with the extremist way of expressing themselves (don't even remember how they were called, but some ridiculous equivalent of the "pickmes" nonsense).

Some people are lonely and really feel the need to belong somewhere, and once there will become extremely defensive of their "tribe" to the point of absurdity, especially inn cases like these, when something started as a resource offering help for dating. But hearing some of their members you'd be excused to think it's the next Cult of the Spaghetti Monster. Chill out, people.

And this is an internet forum, not a peer-reviewed scientific journal. It's opinions we talk about here. Scientific references are not required.

"6. Generous men are a non-negotiable.
While we believe in having your own career and making your own money, a man still has to add financial value to your life and make you feel like he can take care of you."

Why the fuck should an independent, strong woman, expect "to be cared for" by a man??

Thank god i am happily married and dont need to go through this online dating crap.What happened to meeting someone in a bar?Onlune dating is not healthy in my opinion and i partly blame them for the lack of effort in relationships these days.

Basically the thought behind that is men value what they invest in.

I personally find this to be true. Others might have a different experience.

The parallels between the rise of FDS and "The Manosphere" are really interesting.
A lot of what they state in their core texts is generally true, whilst unpalatable.
If a man has a lot of disposable income and is generous with it, that is usually decent heuristic for a lot of traits that would make him a good choice to have children with (stable background, baseline level of social skills/intelligence, would probably be ok with being a sole provider for a time at least, less financial stress etc).
That's not to say a man cannot be poor and be a good choice for a mate (or a rich man be a poor choice), but those positive traits would be less immediately obvious.
The denial of the sort of common sense reality of this stuff is what leads to the angry rhetoric, I think.
People take their cues from media more than they like to believe and whilst being independent is a good idea for anyone, if you want to have a family it is a very good idea to choose a man who is both able to support you and enthusiastic in doing so, financially and otherwise.

The belief is that men basically have no value as humans - they are only good for what you can get from them. So $$ is a big one. The more you can get from a man, the more value he has.

Great lessons for your sons - you have no value as a human, you are only good for what you can do to make women's lives better.

It’s toxic.

Had a look and the place comes across as very Karen-esque, ie. entitled/obnoxious/demanding beyond what is normal. It was just missing a “speak to the manager” section.

Assuming the site is a US concept as those polluting ideas are not something you really see much of here, certainly not anywhere near the same extent. Although viewed as incapable of having any position of power (unlike here where we’ve had a two female Prime Ministers) and only getting the vote by default, the white woman there is sacred. In the 1915 film The Birth of a Nation a white woman is shown running screaming from a black man, which triggered a white man to fire shots at the screen to help her, and more broadly it sparked the second era Ku Klux Klan nationwide. In the 1950s they lynched a 14 year old black child Emmett Till as a white woman said he wolf whistled at her. And more recently, the white woman with the dog in the New York park in 2020 (same day as George Floyd murder that gave much publicity to the Karen) who phoned the cops to say a “hurry, a black man is threatening me”. This behaviour is the result of the entitled society these women come from.

That's ok if you're happy being an investment.

I have other aspirations in life.

It is filled with different types of women and ideologies that fall under their general remit. Some pretty toxic. I think the reason for their success is the current dating landscape and interactions with men in the arena of casual sex/situationships/Liberal feminism. There did need to be a redress to the idea that casual sex and multiple partners is desirable. It costs young women much more than it costs young men to get involved in this. Sexual health along with the inherent dangers of meeting men you dont know and whose social circles you aren't familiar with

I liked the sound of FDS till I noticed how money-focused it was. ‘Low-value men’ being literally low earners!

I’m all for women setting high standards. But that to me means a person’s character, actions, integrity etc, and how they treat me. As long as a man isn’t sponging off me, I don’t care how much he earns. I’m with @KingofLoss and her lovely cheap engagement ring.