I’m actually close to my mum in a weird way. She’s in her eighties now and she moans a lot but she no longer has backup from my dad so she behaves.
”There’s nothing beautiful about the human body” as I posed in front of the mirror as a teenager. It hasn’t affected me (very happy with my body) but my sister developed an eating disorder (which my mum blames my sister for). I do have severe health anxiety but not sure if that’s anything to do with my mum.
”Well what were you wearing?” When I was upset because a young lad had shouting ‘fat arse’ at me. I was a size 8. Other comments about my weight. To be fair she did tell me that one of her colleagues said “Wow what a figure” about me! But it was all about me looking good so that she could show me off. She still asks for photos of my hair so that she can check that it’s blonde enough! Well I’ve decided to grow out my highlights…I’m tempted to get a tattoo just to really annoy her😄.
Didn’t tell me that my three older siblings had a different dad and told them not to tell me. Her abusive ex arrived back on the scene when I was about ten (just to get my sister on his side - not to get back together) and still no one told me. Just left me to piece everything together. When asked recently about it she said ‘Well I thought you knew’!!
But I’m not the scapegoat of the family - my sister is (second oldest) and she’d have far worse things to say. Thing is though, she’s also a complete bitch and I’m not sure whether that’s because of my mum. She used to tell me that all her friends thought I was too skinny and constantly made embarrassing comments about my appearance and that of our older sister.
My mum was generally very difficult when my children were younger and it was like having an extra toddler much of the time.
My dad was nice but he’s partly to blame because he’s always taken my mum’s side for his own benefit. She needed telling. I’ve realised since being in an abusive relationship with a man with borderline personality disorder that this is what she has. I read earlier about someone trying to talk to someone but realising that it wasn’t a person - it was a sheep. Something like that anyway! And that’s exactly what it’s like when someone has a personality disorder.
My grandma was also pretty awful although. Like my mum, she was very caring in a practical sense.
She’d tell me that my mum had a horrible figure. she once told my parents that I’d pushed my grandad (because we’d had an argument after I’d run off upstairs because he’d commented on my spots!). I’d not done anything of the sort.
She told me that I’d caused my grandad’s angina because he ate the fat off my lamb chops that I’d left. Once at a family get-together she said “Oh the photos of the girl with the big nose turned out ok”. That was aimed at me because I do have a strong nose but I’m often told that I’m very pretty. Back then I was very sensitive about it though.
these things are nowhere near as bad as some of the comments on here. I’ve probably minimised a lot of this though. I’m autistic, have inattentive adhd, GAD, depression and OCD. I often wonder whether my life would have been different with different parents but I never seem to hear about good parents. Do they exist?