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Original poster

Does this mean he is chatting to someone else

68 replies

Owl1997 · 30/06/2022 14:34

I am driving myself crazy with this. The man I am seeing keeps showing as online on WhatsApp. I’m paranoid that he is speaking to somebody else. We have been seeing each other for 5 months and as far as I know exclusively. or so he has said.

OP posts:
CataTonic58 · 30/06/2022 14:36

More than likely if he keeps going coming online and going offline. If the app is still open a person can appear online for a while even if they're not using it though.

IodineQueen · 30/06/2022 14:39

Maybe he’s speaking to a friend? Or a work colleague? Or is in a group chat? People use WhatsApp for many reasons! He’s allowed to have a life outside of your relationship.

seaUrchinOne · 30/06/2022 14:40

It's a possibility but could it be that he uses WhatsApp for work? Could it be friends? Maybe he's checking on you!
Over the last 5 months, you probably know his routine more online. Does he seem less interested in you? If he's seriously into you, I would think you would feel more secure.
If you have a feeling that you getting ignored and it's not work that's occupying him, perhaps his idea of 'seeing' you isn't that serious to him.

Bellyups · 30/06/2022 14:40

Is that all that’s feeding your insecurities?

DisgruntledPelican · 30/06/2022 14:41

IodineQueen · 30/06/2022 14:39

Maybe he’s speaking to a friend? Or a work colleague? Or is in a group chat? People use WhatsApp for many reasons! He’s allowed to have a life outside of your relationship.

This. He probably is literally “speaking to someone else”, but that doesn’t mean he is pursuing a relationship with them.

Original poster
Owl1997 · 30/06/2022 14:43

Thank you. All is well apart from that. I am staying at his over the weekend. I just get anxious and wonder if he’s met somebody else and is chatting to them when I see he is online

OP posts:
Original poster
Owl1997 · 30/06/2022 14:44

He is messaging me on there today too. He’s at work currently. I just wonder who else

OP posts:
Original poster
Owl1997 · 30/06/2022 14:45

As he is appearing online between our messages

OP posts:
ElspethBoomingHowsen · 30/06/2022 14:47

Op! Stop stalking the poor guy!

CatheP · 30/06/2022 14:48

I have WhatsApp on my laptop and it shows I'm online even when I haven't used it for hours. Usually it's just open in the background while I'm working

Watchkeys · 30/06/2022 14:50

How old are you? In a trusting adult relationship, you talk about your insecurities. You don't stalk their social media and then post on a forum to find out if Joe Public thinks they're faithful.

CataTonic58 · 30/06/2022 14:52

Maybe he's checking to see if you are online 😂

Aquamarine1029 · 30/06/2022 14:53

Owl1997 · 30/06/2022 14:44

He is messaging me on there today too. He’s at work currently. I just wonder who else

Who else? It's really not any of your business. If you don't/can't trust him, end it. If he's innocent he doesn't deserve all of this suspicion from you.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/06/2022 14:53

You don't sound in any way ready for a relationship.

Bunty55 · 30/06/2022 14:54

Sounds like you are stalking him OP. Whatsap is for friends and family too you know !

PatientlyWaiting21 · 30/06/2022 14:59

I think you need to work on yourself.

wellhelloitsme · 30/06/2022 15:08
  1. You're on there as much as him to be seeing him 'online' all the time
  1. He may be messaging friends, family, colleagues...
  1. Five months in and exclusive, you should be able to just say if something is making you anxious or you have an honest question. If you can't, you don't have a great connection 🤷🏻‍♀️
  1. No trust = no point.
casualreader2022 · 30/06/2022 15:12

Just turn off the online feature ... It'll save you so much anxiety and paranoia.

He could be just messaging friends... No good will come from observing his movements.

If you don't trust him, don't bother.

DarkShade · 30/06/2022 15:34

This is not healthy you should not be in a relationship if you are going to monitor when someone is online. yes he might be talking to someone else - a friend, collegue, family member. if you don't trust him just break up.

Cas112 · 30/06/2022 15:38

Ye probably, is he not allowed to message family or friends 🙄

kiwiandcherries · 30/06/2022 15:41

Maybe he is thinking the same about you!
Seriously though, I am on WhatsApp all the time in many different group chats - family, friends, work, hobbies ... it doesn't mean anything as a sign on its own.

WeeOrcadian · 30/06/2022 15:45

Jesus OP, he's done nothing to deserve this, calm the fuck down. Honestly. You need to deal with this insecurity - or it will destroy your life

miltonj · 30/06/2022 15:48

What???

I message loads of different people on WhatsApp, including my husband, who is the only one I'm in a relationship with haha.

bambi1132 · 30/06/2022 15:51

I use WhatsApp to message several different friends/family members and my husband is the same and I know he's in several work group chats. I don't think I've ever thought to myself why has he been online. OP you need to chill a little! Is he in work group chats? Have family members? Have friends? They are likely to be the reason he's on there

JustFrustrated · 30/06/2022 15:53

This isn't okay. You're stalking him.

Many people, myself included, use WhatsApp as their main form of communication. He is allowed to speak to other people, as much or as little as he wishes.

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