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Original poster

Is anyone really happy single?

149 replies

BiscoffSundae · 26/06/2022 21:30

Those of you that have been single for years with no fwb/fb (as that would be cheating!) Are you genuinely happy single and do you not miss affection or get lonely?

ive been single for 5 years (not through choice) and would like to know if anyone is actually genuinely happy completely single?

OP posts:
HoldingTheDoor · 26/06/2022 21:33

I am. I love being single and I have about as much desire for a relationship as I do for a dose of the clap.

I like my own space too much to want to be in a relationship and being in another just doesn't interest me.

ComfyChairPose · 26/06/2022 21:34

Of course. I've never managed to be happy WITH somebody. I'm always half waiting for it to end so I can get back to normal. Not looking for anybody. I feel stifled having to consider somebody all the time, although I like socialising. I'm not a hermit or even an introvert. I just feel I'm better on my own.

hotcoldnotsold · 26/06/2022 21:41

I enjoyed it for 1 year when I was younger but then decided I needed a fwb type arrangement in this case. I'm happy without a relationship but not without sex, and a fwb is less hassle and safer than finding casual sex. I normally have a rota of fwb so if someone wants out, there's someone else. Everyone is aware though so all above board. And fwb is just sex, no dates or hanging out.

I like relationships, good ones. But have also been very content when single with just fwb.

Original poster
BiscoffSundae · 26/06/2022 21:49

I’ve noticed the ones that are happy are the ones with a FWB doesn’t seem many are totally happy without any male interaction at all

OP posts:
HoldingTheDoor · 26/06/2022 21:50

No FWB here and no desire for one either.

LostAndLonely2022 · 26/06/2022 21:51

Honestly? No. I'm can live without the sex (although it would be nice) but I miss the companionship, someone to share the load and someone to have your back.

tunnocksreturns2019 · 26/06/2022 21:51

I’m not, but that’s because I was married to a lovely lovely man until he died 5.5 years ago and I miss him.

MrsHastingslikethebattle · 26/06/2022 21:52

I think it's a hard question. There is pros and cons to being single.

In my humble opinion, I think most of the time, those who are genuinely happy being single is due to a bad previous relationship.
They would rather be single and are a lot happier.

If your in a good relationship and it ends, people may not like being single and miss it.

Single people can be content with their own company and life, I think anyway.

AlternativelyWired · 26/06/2022 21:59

I love being single. I've been single 4 years now and am in my 40s. I'm honestly the happiest I've ever been and wish I'd known that I could be single and happy two decades ago.I do have my children though and work and I am a carer for my mum so I'm never lonely. Maybe without the dc and my mum I might feel lonely but I like my own company and am happy by myself. I've never felt the need for others; society expects everyone to couple up and it is seen as odd to not have a boyfriend/girlfriend/be married/living with someone or whatever other form of relationship. Now cats, I'm not sure I'd be able to live happily without the cats that have adopted our family.

chimichangaz · 26/06/2022 22:03

@MrsHastingslikethebattle nails it for me. I'm very happy single as I had a bad previous relationship. I'm not sure how I can trust again, or allow myself to be vulnerable again. That part is sad - however I am really happy in my own company, love being able to please myself and have a good social life. I've been single almost 11 years. Bloody hell that's scary!!

I'm thinking more lately I would probably like to spend time with the right man, but I have to get over these trust issues.

hilariousnamehere · 26/06/2022 22:04

Yes, although I was surprised when I initially realised this! 36, childfree by choice, 8.5 years single so far (after two long and serious relationships) and no fwb/one night stands/sexual contact in that time.

I'm happier than I've ever been - have been able to spend more time with friends and family, work on my beloved businesses, write a book, make art, become an extreme night owl and spend hours in my studio whenever I feel like it.

I have two daft cats for cuddles, my friends are epic and we go away together as well as catching up for lunch etc, and although the first part of the pandemic was hard, I can't see myself ever wanting to change how I currently live and add a bloke into the equation - having someone else to think about and someone else's extended family to think about would be hassle I just cba with.

But no one was more surprised by me when I first clocked how much happier I was out of a relationship and with no partner/fwb cluttering up the place!

hilariousnamehere · 26/06/2022 22:06

*than me 😂 my kingdom for an edit button!

I will also never share my home again except if my Mum needs care as she gets older - I love living alone, have done it for 11+ years now and I have no idea how people cope with other people in their space even sometimes!

hilariousnamehere · 26/06/2022 22:10

I'm still friends with both my exes and we split amicably both times - so while PP has it right for some, definitely not for all of us. Have a look online for Bella de Paulo, she researches and writes about being 'single at heart' which is definitely how I feel - that my very best, happiest and most fulfilled life is one lived solo.

But I do recognise this probably isn't the case for a lot of single thirty somethings!

EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 26/06/2022 22:11

Fuck yes. 48, childfree by choice, been single since 2014 & I’ve never been happier.

LisaSimpson77 · 26/06/2022 22:13

Yes me 🙋🏻‍♀️!!
I've been single now for around 8.5 years and have had a similar long spell in the past.
The truth is I'm very independent, need a lot of headspace/quiet time and really CBA with the drama that dating and relationships bring.
I'm not closed off to a relationship, it would be nice if the right one came along but I'm not wasting my life pining for it.

AllAloneInThisHouse · 26/06/2022 22:13

I can’t give an straight answer, kinda yes - kinda no.

I’m very much sex-repulsed and I don’t like people touching me, so I’m very happy I don’t have to do those.

But I always wanted companionship (maybe even some romance) so being single has been very rough.

And I am sad I never had ’my person’, even if it wouldn’t last. No one is ever going to love me and that makes me sad.

But, I am grateful I won’t be forced to do anything physical.
And reading here what relationships are like, it helps to romantic fantasies I’ve had in my head about relationships.

ElEmEnOhPee · 26/06/2022 22:24

I was single for around 5 or 6 years without even so much as kissing anyone and I enjoyed being single BUT that was following a very abusive relationship and so of course being single was preferable to that.

I then met someone who was not abusive but there were other issues sadly and so we split up last November, since then I have found that I'm lonely (unusual for me) but not as lonely as I felt in that relationship. I think perhaps my age (late 30s) is making me worry that I won't find anyone to settle down forever with and that as I get older it will get increasingly more difficult and that's making me feel lonely than I have done previously (if that makes sense).

D0lphine · 26/06/2022 22:24

hilariousnamehere · 26/06/2022 22:04

Yes, although I was surprised when I initially realised this! 36, childfree by choice, 8.5 years single so far (after two long and serious relationships) and no fwb/one night stands/sexual contact in that time.

I'm happier than I've ever been - have been able to spend more time with friends and family, work on my beloved businesses, write a book, make art, become an extreme night owl and spend hours in my studio whenever I feel like it.

I have two daft cats for cuddles, my friends are epic and we go away together as well as catching up for lunch etc, and although the first part of the pandemic was hard, I can't see myself ever wanting to change how I currently live and add a bloke into the equation - having someone else to think about and someone else's extended family to think about would be hassle I just cba with.

But no one was more surprised by me when I first clocked how much happier I was out of a relationship and with no partner/fwb cluttering up the place!

You sound awesome.

I think if many women dared to think what would make them happy, this would be their life

Hallowbat · 26/06/2022 22:26

I’ve been single for 5 years not even a kiss and I’m very happy. I’m just enjoying bringing my kids up and when they’re in bed the last thing I could be bothered with is having to entertain a man. We have a lovely life just us.

nocoolnamesleft · 26/06/2022 22:28

I'm very happy being single. The more threads I read on here, the happier I become with my decisions.

Imobsessedwithsuccesion · 26/06/2022 22:29

Absolutely so. Been single by choice , always. Tried a short relationship many years, fine but I loved me more and let him go. Always had lots of fwb/fb until about 3 years ago but was VERY clear it was only fun and sex. Honestly I miss sex, but no one has everything and I have a great life 24/7 so it's a good trade off.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 26/06/2022 22:30

I love being single after being in a relationship from university until I was almost 42.

summer4509 · 26/06/2022 22:33

Genuinely, completely happy. I have my DC, my career, family and friends. No relationship has ever made me more content than I am now and I am happy to not have any physical relationship either. Don't ever feel lonely as I am happy with my own company and comfortable doing things on my own if needed.

arethereanyleftatall · 26/06/2022 22:37

Love it. Absolutely gutted that it took me till my forties to realise it.

NeedASolution · 26/06/2022 22:40

I love it, it's so much fun. I am open to a relationship but would only give up my independent life for someone who would augment it even further. I have definitely been burned in the past but equally, I have known some great men and just don't think I have met one who suits me for this life stage (40).