Sorry if this turns out to be a bit long, I’ll try keep it short.
My partner and I have been together a year and a half, there’s been feelings there longer than that, and we’re very happy together. I have 2 children from a previous relationship who I co parent with their dad. They love my partner, they have a fantastic relationship. In 8 weeks time I’m due our first child together, couldn’t be more excited. Anyway, the problem is, my partner is a massive asshole in the mornings. He has a shit routine, we both feel unwell a lot in the mornings, dunno why, just always been that way, but he’s just a dick! I’ve spoken about it in depth before, he can be snappy, moody, or simply walk off and go sleep in my kids room if they’re at their dads and I’m getting up (we don’t currently live together but he stays over) anyway, because of this he missed our 20 weeks scan. It was a huge deal! I couldn’t believe it, because he was tired and moody and didn’t wanna get up. I was obvs extremely upset by that, and he immediately regretted it, cried, felt shit about it and whatever. I’m 32 weeks now and having monthly scans at the hospital still, I had one this week and yep, you guessed it.. HE DID IT AGAIN! I was FURIOUS this time I woke him and said we have to go and he said no I’m sleeping. I said oh okay you’re not gunna feel bad like before? He said no. I screamed at him to get out my house by the time I’m back and left, Cus I was so hurt, I went alone. Needless to say this has caused huge issues, it’s made me loose trust in him, see him differently, and frankly loose faith in him as a father.. and I don’t know what to do. I’ve told him if he acts like that when baby is here he won’t be involved, simple, I don’t need that and baby doesn’t need to be let down. I’ve done it twice before and I can raise this baby on my own if I have to, so prioritising the children isn’t a problem. What’s worse is he’s over the moon about this baby!! We’ve both had shit starts in life, so he never thought he’d have his own family and that’s the only thing he’s ever wanted, it’s not like he doesn’t love our child. My friend seems to think I should consider breaking up, I have thought about it, but I also wonder what do people do if you’re in a different situation? What if you’re married? People try to make it work right? I don’t know. He says he’s sorry, has no defense, trust me when I say I’ve been brutal. There’s no part of me that’s nice to him right now, at the moment I don’t know how I’ll ever get over this. What’s worse is outside of this he’s a great partner, he treats my kids like his own, he provides for all of us without a single complaint, he’ll do anything I ask, he takes good care of us and is loving and caring, so wtf do I do. Pls share your thoughts with me? Thank you