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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just had a WhatsApp from my colleagues wife

714 replies

BlueMoone · 10/06/2022 22:07

I work in a freelance creative industry (TV production) where I will be contracted on a project for a finite amount of time. My current role is 16 weeks and I'm 6 weeks in. I'm self employed and very very pleased to have the contract as sometimes I go a couple of months between contracts and have to budget to make the money stretch the whole year. Being self employed I don't get holiday pay or anything like that (just demonstrating how precious the work is to me.)

My role involves being paired with another freelance professional and the two of us work together in an edit suite reporting to senior members of staff but essentially it's just the two of us for the vast majority of the day.

This job was the first time I had met this guy, usually you work with people on the circuit but I hadn't come across him before. We get in great, he's 15 years older than me but seems young in his outlook and we have enjoyed chatting and having a laugh at work.

He told me about how he met his wife online and got her pregnant on their second date and now they're married and their child is about six months old. FWIW I live with my long term partner. He would sometimes tell me how his wife and he would argue but always in a jokey tone, he probably did share too much but not just about his relationship about loads of stuff - mostly just idle chat as we worked.

This evening I have received a WhatsApp from his wife (must have taken my number from his phone) telling me to stop calling him, he's a married man and he has a child and I need to back off and stay away from her husband. I had a missed call from him yesterday evening, called back assuming a work thing and he didn't pick up. Wasn't mentioned at work today I didn't think anything of it.

What do I reply? I don't want things to be awkward at work and don't want to put my job in jeopardy by giving the impression at work we are not being professional. We are doing a good job with good feedback. Should I message my colleague and tell him?

OP posts:
Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 13/06/2022 06:24

Good luck today OP

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 13/06/2022 06:25

Good luck today OP

over2021 · 13/06/2022 06:31

Good luck today OP.

He's clearly putting it about and you are a decoy.

HollowTalk · 13/06/2022 06:41

Just wishing you well today. I imagine this couple have form for this. I hope you get to work with somebody different instead.

HollowTalk · 13/06/2022 06:41

Just wishing you well today. I imagine this couple have form for this. I hope you get to work with somebody different instead.

Lougle · 13/06/2022 06:44

I hope it all goes well. Remember that this is not your issue. You've had been caught in the cross-fire.

wheretogoplease · 13/06/2022 06:55

Also here to wish you luck op we are all behind you in solidarity.

MumInBrussels · 13/06/2022 07:02

Good luck OP. I hope everything goes well - you've done absolutely nothing wrong, and this shouldn't in any way reflect on you.

But if it doesn't go well, despite it not being your fault in any way, remember that several people in this thread who know your industry have said that people have short memories, and this shouldn't have a long term impact on your career. That's not much comfort if things go wrong today, but it sounds like even if the worst happens, it won't be as bad as you worried to start with.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you today!

Misty84 · 13/06/2022 07:11

Thinking of you today OP, I really hope this horrible situation turns out ok for you 🙏

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 13/06/2022 07:17

MsTSwift · 13/06/2022 05:05

I dunno the behaviour all put together rather paints a picture though doesn’t it…

Alright then Marc Chagall give us the picture.

Dumpedagainfml · 13/06/2022 07:26

Good luck today OP - Have been following this thread from Portugal X

Newestname002 · 13/06/2022 07:45

Keeping everything crossed for a positive result for you today @BlueMoone. Remember to stay calm and factual during your meeting today. 🌹

Newestname002 · 13/06/2022 07:45

Keeping everything crossed for a positive result for you today @BlueMoone. Remember to stay calm and factual during your meeting today. 🌹

Chooksnroses · 13/06/2022 07:46

Good luck with everything today @BlueMoone .

Ginajo · 13/06/2022 08:12

What does your partner think about it?

janesmithsdog · 13/06/2022 08:14

Also thinking of you today. Hold your head up high, you’ve done nothing wrong. YOU are the wronged one here!

Beingadiv · 13/06/2022 08:18

Good luck today OP x

hopeishere · 13/06/2022 08:22

Good luck

hopeishere · 13/06/2022 08:22

Good luck

TandemRan · 13/06/2022 08:34

Hi OP, I work in a similar line of work, and everyone working in post production knows that the nature of the job means you’re often working closely with one other person and that means very close working relationships can form- that doesn’t mean you’re having an affair for goodness sake! Your boss will understand this. The long hours we work also means people are usually very quick to clock when people have started seeing each other too- no matter how careful and discrete they’ve been! He may have previous form for dalliances at work, he might not, it’s irrelevant to you. Just keep it professional and friendly with your producer and editor, if you’re acting like it’s not a problem and that you can get on with the job regardless you’re making your producer’s life a whole lot easier (no-one wants the hassle of finding new crew mid way through a project) If you can act like it’s not a problem for you then you’ll show that you’re unflappable and good under pressure- invaluable in this line of work! I know it’s horrible when you’re in the midst of it but FWIW I’ve found this industry remarkably tolerant of life drama, as long as you’re able to get on with the job at hand.

Fernticket · 13/06/2022 08:58

Hoping all goes well for you today🙏💐

CantBelieveTheTime · 13/06/2022 09:12

Gosh I really hope it works out for you.
What a bloody nightmare.
Sounds like they're dragging you into their marriage issues that they've clearly had a long time before you came along.

You have all the proof on your phone of a purely professional relationship.
I hope it goes well.

CantBelieveTheTime · 13/06/2022 09:12

Gosh I really hope it works out for you.
What a bloody nightmare.
Sounds like they're dragging you into their marriage issues that they've clearly had a long time before you came along.

You have all the proof on your phone of a purely professional relationship.
I hope it goes well.

CantBelieveTheTime · 13/06/2022 09:13

Gosh I really hope it works out for you.
What a bloody nightmare.
Sounds like they're dragging you into their marriage issues that they've clearly had a long time before you came along.

You have all the proof on your phone of a purely professional relationship.
I hope it goes well.

Whatinthe · 13/06/2022 09:29

I hope it goes well today and common sense prevails.

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