Red flag or am I being unfair...

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

Partner of 8mths or so, wants to move in in next 6 mths to a year which is a good timescale. Going well and he's a great man in many respects. He has a job he's held for a very long time and lives alone with his teenager.
We however do very little together not been out for dinner more than once or to the cinema ever. Played pool or been to pubs maybe 8 times and only if I arrange things. Generally he comes over and we have dinner and play baord games or watch a film, fine as I have a young kid.
However, I recently started to push to go out more on child free days and it turns out he cant due to lack of money and we only do stuff if I pay for us both.
I was suprised as he earns well and has same disposible income as me each month after bills. Turns out he gets through almost 600 quid in 10 days leaving him with under 60 quid till payday for the next two weeks. He often borrows from mates at end of the month. He says its just on food and snacks. He dosnt run a car.
I know everyone does stuff differently but is that normal spending pattern or does it scream addiction of some kind?
I don't wnat his money or to be involved but I need to be able to do stuff and have a life and esp if planning to Co habit.

Does he have designer clothes? If not I'd be thinking gambling or coke.

Sounds like my friends ex bf. Gambler.
Be very careful. She ended up paying for everything while they were together.

Gambling, drugs, child maintenance, huge loans. Either that or he's very poor at money management.

Obviously don’t move in with him. It sounds a bit flat and you’re not getting what you want. What’s he bringing to your life right now? Stay casually dating if you want to but it sounds like you’ll be getting an expensive hobby if he does agree to do stuff out with you. And you absolutely can’t combine money or households, that would be mad.

Sounds like a future Cocklodger tbh. I wouldn’t let him move in.

Sounds like my ex he was a coke addict x

There’s something else going on here and you’d be mad to let him move in until you find out what it is.

Well, for a start you wouldn’t have posted here if you didn’t have doubts. Secondly, if you’re paying for everything now, what do you think it will be like when he moves in? You won’t be able to refuse to pay then if it’s the gas bill.

also it just sounds like a shit life, not going out or doing anything. Even if he’s not controlling and isn’t bothered about you going out alone, you’ll still have a feeling of reluctance because he isn’t with you.

and WTF is he blowing all his money on? Is he wasting it on shit or does he have debts?

it sounds like you’re not financially compatible. Living with someone is supposed to enhance your life, will living with this man really enhance your life? Also I’d be a bit wary of someone who announces they intend to move in in X amount of time. It should be a joint decision, not him just telling you what he intends to do. The cock lodger potential here is high.

No child maintenance and no designer clothes, he's very thrifty as a rule. Hence my total suprise.

Also, and this is really important: you shouldn’t move in with someone in the hopes that their behavior will be different, because it’s very unlikely to happen. Unless they demonstrate to you that they are the sort of person who you could happily live with, just don’t do it.

By intends to move in, we've discussed it and agreed a time frame of around 2 years dating before it wouod work as I'm in no rush. That's all I meant.

My suspicion is gambling tbh. No expensive hobbies and generally frugal ie buys clothes from supermarkets or in sales etc.

It doesn’t sound great.
You need to do some digging, what is he spunking his money on?
He may have an addiction as pp mentioned or may just be shit with money.
Either way he’s not a keeper.

If he’s so frugal where’s it all going?

He's thrifty because he needs to be, because his money is being wasted on some sort of addiction. He has a priority where his money is going.

Huge, huge red flag. Something is very wrong here. He's either completely irresponsible with money, or he has some nasty habits or addictions that have yet to rear their ugly head. I would never move in with this man, and if you're looking for a future/marriage, it shouldn't be with him.

Does he spend a lot of time on his phone? Get a lot of notifications etc. Does he follow a certain sport?

A suspicion is a perfectly valid excuse to say no, and a bloody good solid reason to say no.

can you start asking him for contributions to stuff or just not paying, and go quiet about moving in? If he reacts badly to the former or puts pressure on you about the latter you’ll know it’s an absolute no go.

you can’t live with somebody who drains your financial resources, especially not with a child to care for, it’s ridiculous

Yep. I think my gut is right and you all make sense.
I did speak to him about it and he just said it was on food n snacks and genuinly there isn't any th ing else to worry about. But my spider sense says that's not right

Yes, go with your gut. In this situation hearts are idiots, heads are manipulative and guts are wise.

I did speak to him about it and he just said it was on food n snacks and genuinly there isn't any th ing else to worry about.

£600 in 10 days on food and snacks? Give me a break. He's lying.

Shame as a lovely man but I want an equal not a project. Too old for that nonsense

Yep exactly what I said to him... Its like 58 quid a day... Insane!

And if he’s spunking all his money on food when he gets paid, why don’t you see any of it? Why are you having to stump up for everything? He’s a bullshitting bullshitter

Please do not let him move in...this is red flags in bold. I would consider moving in and not wasting time with what will only be grief.

£600 in 10 days on food and snacks? Give me a break. He's lying.

Yes, I'd expect him to be pretty overweight if he's eating that much!