Sick of his comments

[RooRem2]

Every single fucking day he has to make me feel more shit than I already do about myself. About my weight, my skin, what I wear, even my teeth which with out sounding big headed, are quite nice. I lost 2 stone a couple of months ago which I have maintained but haven’t lost anymore since. “Should you be eating that” “diets going well then I see” if somebody big comes on tv, he says it’s me then laughs and says he’s only winding me up. His friend is getting married in august and he told me I need to get back on the diet because all his friends will be there and he doesn’t want me embarrassing him. Which of course he told me he was only joking (yeah right)🤔We went on a day out on Saturday and on the way home he said “I wasn’t perving but doesn’t it bother you when you see girls in nice summer clothes, I am gutted for you” “I’d love for you to be able to wear those gym clothes” The day before that it was about my spots. Yesterday I was laughing at something, he said “have you brushed your teeth today” (I had obviously) I got upset and like every time he says he was joking or that he’s only trying to help me. I’ve had enough but I guess I’m just used to it now. If I pull him up on something he says he tells me I need to lighten up and he says that I can’t take a joke. I hold it all in when he’s here but he’s at work now and I woke up and just burst into tears. I am fed up of his comments, the way he worms his way out of it and just life in general.

Leave him. Today. Don't look back.

He sounds like a prize. What do you get out of being with him? Think about it. Get rid asap

He sounds like he's draining the life out of you one pathetic comment at a time. It sounds like you still know your self-worth! Are you thinking of ending your relationship with him? You shouldn't have to put up with someone so controlling and manipulative. Hope you're able to put yourself first x

he says he was joking or that he’s only trying to help me

You know that isn't true and he's doing this deliberately to make you feel shit, right?

Why would you want to to stay in relationship with someone who thinks so little of you as to want to cause you hurt and erode your self confidence?

The man is scum. I can promise you that being single is way, way better than being with someone like this.

Just get shot he sounds awful and even if you lost more weight and started dressing like he wants he would find a new thing to criticise. Block the twat and never look back! Enjoy the summer!

@ProudThrilledHappy nothing really. We’ve been together 9 years and have 2 children. I think if it wasn’t for the kids and being together so long I’d have left

@feellikemyselfagain he 100% is draining the life out of me! Sometimes I think about ending things but can never go through with it for some reason x

There is only one answer to this, and that is to leave him.

Relationships are meant to enhance our lives, make them better. Without that, what's the point? Why be with someone who goes out of their way to upset you and diminish you?

He is cruel. He does this on purpose. You know it isn't a joke, he knows it isn't a joke. He wants you to have no self-confidence for his own weird reasons. It could be because he wants to make you grateful he stays with you, thus training you to do everything to please him. It could be he's just a cruel bully who gets off on hurting people. It could be that he feels better when he feels superior to the people / person around him.

But the reason isn't important. The fact is this man is abusive. He doesn't show you respect, love or even care. He shows you he wants you to feel insecure and sad.

Don't stay with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Don't stay with an abusive bully.

You'll find yuor life improves enourmously and very quickly when he's gone.

Leave him FOR the children. This is not a good relationship for them to witness and model in later life.

If this was your daughter's relationship, what would you want her to do?

Can I ask that he looks like? Is he tall, very handsome, muscles for days and beautiful hair and eyes?

What an awful human being. Please leave him, you don't want your children to grow up around this behaviour thinking it's ok- it's really not.

There are plenty of men out there who will tell you you're gorgeous every day and mean it. Don't stay in this relationship that is making you feel so bad x

Wow.
Just wow.

I hear people throwing about the phrase "I would leave him", but you actually need to leave him.

What a horrible man. He's either insecure in himself or he is trying to knock your confidence down so you feel like you feel like you could never get anyone else.

I have a friend who is with a guy who is clearly very emotionally abusive. Puts her down and makes sly digs at her, even in front of us all. She has been with him for 12 years and she doesn't even realise that his behaviour isn't normal any more. She openly tells me what he's said and she just laughs about it and I'm thinking why the hell would you be with him?! But she's so conditioned to thinking that it's ok for him to think like that.

Please don't turn in to my friend.

My ex used to be like this - make little comments that were designed to be a joke - normally about my weight, and controlling or "observing" what I ate.

I'd asked him countless times not to mention it or to leave it, and even when I did diet he still made comments, even to the point where he tried to sabotage my diet by saying I deserved "a break" even though he knew I would find it hard to get back on track.

Ironically leaving him was when I lost the most amount of weight

Also, I don't know if he says these things in front of your children but I really wouldn't want my kids to think that's how they should be treated/treat someone in a relationship.

Don't stay together for the kids, that's crazy. Every day that you tolerate this treatment by not leaving him you are teaching them that it is ok to speak to someone like that and that it is ok for someone else to speak to you like that.

Leave him. Explain to the kids that you can't stay in a relationship with Daddy because he is unkind to you and that nobody should tolerate unkindness. I am not a fan of exposing kids to the causes of parents relationship issues, but in this case they have seen it anyway. You are just showing them by example that EVERYONE should leave a relationship where their partner can't be polite and kind.

When I read posts like this, I am like.. ???? There isn't a debate. Nothing to consider. He is routinely putting down your appearance, in an especially cruel way. Kick him to the curb. Have some respect for yourself & don't put up with that.

Maybe some people "tough it out" for kids when things are hard but this ???? Nah. He doesn't respect you. Apparently doesn't like anything about your appearance and loves to bully you about it. As others have said if your kid was in a relationship being treated like that , would you advise them to stay?

Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't like you?

Just not being in a house with someone who makes you feel like ending it all is surely reason enough.

I take it he is drop dead gorgeous, could get any woman he wanted?

Your self worth is as a grown woman and mum to your children not as an oogling object for an awful excuse of a male.

So snide comment back. "Last in the queue when kindness was handed out eh"
"You going a bit bald"

Why put up with this shit? But if you are going to you need to find a way to just block him out.

He sounds absolutely horrible. You deserve a lot better. This is how it will be - or worse - for the rest of your life if you stay with him. The next 40 or so years! Life is short. You don't deserve such a vile man.

Thanks everyone. I know what I need to do it’s just easier said than done I guess. I think it’s because I’m so used to it, and he says he’s joking all of the time that I just believe him. Although I don’t at the same time. I don’t know😣I know if I left him, he’d be gobsmacked and wouldn’t understand why. Although I’ve told him countless of times how it makes me feel. He thinks it’s all one big joke

It's a death by a thousand cuts.
He's killing your spirit and sense of self worth.
You do realise that a dp who loves you builds you up, not tears you down?
Do you say nasty comments to hurt him? No? Why? Because decent human beings don't hurt the ones they love.
Chuck this one back in the penis pool where he belongs.
9 yrs and 2 kids is not a reason to stay with someone so vile.
It's fear of the unknown that keeps you there.
There's life on the other side ❤️ a life of peace, freedom and loving yourself ❤️

He sounds completely despicable. He doesn't deserve a partner. It's no way to treat another human being. He is supposed to care for you, give you reassurance when you need it and make you feel good about yourself. Get rid of him before he grinds you down to nothing.

Don't stay together for the kids, that's crazy. Every day that you tolerate this treatment by not leaving him you are teaching them that it is ok to speak to someone like that and that it is ok for someone else to speak to you like that.

This. If you don't leave him then you're going to watch your children replicate this relationship dynamic when they are teens and adults.

You're teaching them this is what a relationship looks like.

You're also teaching them that whatever qualities and personality a woman has, her value is in her appearance and it's ok for men to judge women on their appearance. That women have a duty to look how a man wants them to.

Do you really think staying in this relationship is in their best interests? It's absolutely not.

Sometimes it's more selfish to stay than it is to leave.

Im warning you that he will turn you into a laughing stock around your children. You need to leave for them as much as for you. Kids pick up on how their mother is treated by their father and it affects how they treat their partners and the way they allow themselves to be treated. Hes a bully

Death by a thousand cuts. Horrible man. He will never do better than you.

If you don’t want to leave him because of the kids then you need to start standing up to him.

The next time he makes a comment just tell him clearly and calmly to stop doing it and it is so clear all his snidey criticisms are not jokes even if he tries to make out that they are. And they are not helpful to you in the slightest. Also tell him that if he doesn’t stop then you don’t see your relationship continuing.

At the moment he seems to be in control of how you feel and it’s a case of taking back that control. The next time he tries it just say “Stop”. If he says it was a joke then says”but it wasn’t”. Rinse and repeat. I’ve been there.

Congratulations on the weight loss and I wish I had good teeth 😕